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6 Personal Belongings My Cats Bat Underneath the Furniture

When I need purple pens, hair ties, or lip balm, I know just wear to look: under the bed and sofa.

Angie Bailey  |  Nov 28th 2016


Cats are playful little sillies that turn anything and everything into toys. They especially enjoy the ones they can swat across the floor. These are just the items that wind up getting batted underneath furniture. I find them only when I decide to move furniture and clean (haha) or when I’m puzzled over the whereabouts of frequently batted-about objects and start my treasure hunt.

Here are six of my belongings I most frequently find on my cleaning sprees and treasure hunts.

1. Lip balm tube

"Your lips are moist enough. Give me that."

“Your lips are moist enough. Give me that.”

This is a highly swattable object, and I can usually find at least three of them if I start moving furniture. I have concrete floors, so something smooth and slidey like a tube of lip balm is a fan favorite. Although Cosmo and Phoebe favor the cylindrical ones, they certainly don’t turn their noses up at the squeezy tubes.

Maybe they want me to have dry lips. Maybe they think I have a lip balm-hoarding habit. Nah, I just think they like to swat the things.

2. My purple pens

"Selfish. Maybe it's my favorite color too."

“Selfish. Maybe it’s my favorite color too.”

I’m one of those weirdos who loves to write with purple pens. In fact, I’ll sometimes postpone work until I can find one. I buy them by the 12-pack at office supply stores, and I prefer some brands over others; however, any purple pen is cool in my book.

Even though I seem to buy these pens by the truckload, there comes a point now and again when I can’t find a single one. I scour the bottom of my purse, explore desk drawers, and look in storage baskets. Nothing! But when I pull the sofa away from the wall or look under the bed … BINGO! There’s a mass supply of my precious purple pens. Well, at least I can say that my cats have excellent taste in writing utensils.

3. Hair ties

Cosm's getting ready to tie one on.

Cosmo’s prepares to tie one on.

My body temperature is all wonky. I go from hot to cold to hot to cold all day long. For this reason, I always wear an elastic hair tie around my wrist like a bracelet. Then, if I’m feeling like a sweat monster, I can easily toss my locks into a ponytail. Like pens, these ties seem to have a regular spot on my shopping list. They come in multi-packs, so I have no idea where they go. Some would speculate that they disappear to the land of missing socks. Or maybe, just maybe, they become cat toys and find new homes underneath the fridge and bookcases. Yeah, the latter’s true because I’ve seen it. I know very little about the land of missing socks, but the land of missing hair ties? I’ve been there, and it’s a very dusty terrain.

4. Jewelry

"I've never seen that before in my life."

“I’ve never seen that before in my life.”

I have to make sure to place my jewelry back in the jewelry box after I’m finished wearing it. You might wonder whether I’m afraid of jewelry thieves, and the answer is yes — yes, I am. The thieves live in my house, have four legs, and are covered in hair. Anything small and shiny is an opportunity for play. This is why I sometimes wind up with a single earring of a pair.

They don’t go very far with these baubles. I typically find them under my bed, night stand, or dresser. I think they might be trying to start a pawn shop and that’s their storage areas. Sorry to tell ya, kitties — my “jewels” aren’t worth more than a few bucks.

5. Emery board

Cosmo gets "board" easily.

Cosmo gets “board” easily.

What is it with cats and emery boards? My Phoebe and Cosmo love chewing on mine, and the sound completely files my irritation right down to the nerve. Not only do they make my manicure tool a chew toy, they pick it up in their mouths, carry it around, and then drop it for a quick game of soccer. They must make a lot of goals because I sure do find a supply of these items under tables and sofas.

6. My cousin Jimmy’s big rig

Cancel the police report!

Cancel the police report! Photo via Flickr

Well, this isn’t exactly my belonging, but my cousin Jimmy lent it to me last summer when I needed to haul some cat litter from the Costco that’s across town. It was super useful, and I was grateful for the loaner. When Cousin Jimmy came to pick it up, however, it’d disappeared from the driveway! What’s up with that? Needless to say he was perturbed and rued the day he handed me the keys to his prized possession. What could I say? We filed a police report and went about our lives.

A few weeks later I was looking for purple pens underneath my sofa and what do you think I found? That’s right — Cousin Jimmy’s big rig! The cats must have batted it right under there along with the pens and hair ties. Sigh. I canceled the police report and called Cousin Jimmy. Mystery solved.

What do your cats bat under your furniture? Tell us in the comments!