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5 Reasons It’s Impossible to Read When My Cats Are Nearby

I love my books. My cats love my books too -- love to drool and sleep on them, that is.

Angie Bailey  |  Aug 25th 2016


I love to read, and I read real books. I don’t know if I’ll ever migrate to an e-reader because I adore the feel of a real book. Plus, there’s something about seeing those colorful book spines lined up neatly on a shelf. I recently arranged my books by color so my bookcase looks like a beautiful rainbow. You can’t line up e-books. There’s no rainbow with e-books.

You know who else loves books? My cats, particularly Cosmo. It’s a fact that kitties like to get all up in our business when we’re doing anything that doesn’t revolve around them. I think they become confused when our focus veers from us giving them our undivided attention. And if we happen to leave our reading spot, even for a few minutes, kitties take over the book or the seat … or both. Can I please just get to chapter two? Good luck, right?

Here are five reasons it’s impossible to crack a book when my cats are around.

1. Facebooking

The drool. It flows.

The drool. It flows.

Cosmo’s a drooler. He drools only when he’s happy, and the drippy mouth is usually accompanied by purring. When I hold a book, he makes it his priority to rub his face over every inch that his sloppy mouth can reach. And each time his face makes contact with the book, I can’t focus because everything goes shaky. If I move him, he comes right back. So if I’m reading a book, I know to expect drippy drool and brace for dizziness because of shaky pages. Yay, reading!

2. Staring

"Still watching you. Still watching you. Still watching you."

“Still watching you. Still watching you. Still watching you.”

Cosmo has this obsession with staring at me. When he’s not sleeping, there’s a pretty good chance that his eyes are locked right on me. He’s staring even as I type this. I’m not even kidding. I wish you were here right now to experience this stare-master’s mad eyeball skillz.

I usually don’t notice the gaze, but if our eyes happen to lock, I can become kind of distracted. This is especially true when I’m reading. I’ll look up and see him watching me, then I’ll go back to reading. Five minutes later, I’ll look up again and he’ll still have a fixed gaze. I’m sure he’s thinking about rubbing his face on my book. Also, his drool engine is probably warming up.

3. Book-covering

"Oh, this is all mine now. Move along."

“Oh, this is all mine now. Move along.”

If I get up from reading to go to the bathroom or grab something to eat or drink, my book or magazine automatically becomes a cat bed. Everyone knows that any object resting on a surface is a potential cat bed, so why am I surprised every time I return to my spot to find my book has been covered by a cat? Will I ever learn? Probably not. I should place a book beside me while I’m reading so he’ll have his own book to cover. He’d probably still go for mine. That’s the Law of Cat.

4. Kneading

"Cosmo kneads, I read."

“Cosmo kneads, I read.”

If Cosmo finally settles down and allows me the luxury of reading a few pages, he doesn’t just go to sleep. Instead, he prefers to knead all over my belly and drool on my clothing. This isn’t anything that especially bothers me, but it can be kind of annoying, and, if my bladder is anywhere near full, uncomfortable. I keep a box of tissues nearby to dab his drippy mouth. I should get him a little bib. He’d love that.

5. Hijacking

"I snooze and you lose."

“I snooze and you lose.”

If my cat doesn’t curl up on top of my book, he’ll at least jack my seat if I’m away for more than a few seconds. I return to find one or more cats have made themselves at home on my very comfy reading spot. I suppose an open seat is up for grabs, but come on, guys! And if I try to move them they “yell” at me like I’ve just ruined their day.

Could I find another reading spot? Sure I could. Is it fair? No it’s not. Cats win. Every time.

How do your cats behave when you read? Tell us about your experiences in the comments!