People do some crazy things for rock stars. They obsess, moon over, and sometimes even tattoo the names of their favorite songs and artists on their bodies. I think there’s is nothing wrong with this, especially considering that many people close to me are exactly these types of people — and so am I.
However, I’ve recently had a realization: My deep, unabridged love for music and musicians is similar to how I feel for my cat, Roger.
Roger is my Mick Jagger; I talk about him incessantly, carry about 500 photos of him on my phone, and would possibly turn into a scary, horrible, violent person if anyone said one bad thing about him.
It’s like when an acquaintance of mine revealed they thought the Beatles were overrated — I still liked the person, but my initial reaction was to enter a larger argument about the deeper, more important meaning behind the very essence of the Beatles, which I was certain they just didn’t understand.
Now, replace the Beatles with cat and it’s like the same exact argument. When someone says they just don’t “get” cats, I whirlwind into a defense mode I have only seen when I get talking about the greatness of a music act.
To me, Roger embodies the sassiest characteristics I have ever seen in any animal. Part-princess, part-wild punk rocker, I feel that in his different moods he embodies a variety of my favorite musical acts.
Therefore, in honor of Roger, I’ve created a playlist of songs that accurately portray his sassy demeanor — whether it’s about him jumping into a running shower or deciding it’s okay to eat hot Cheetos. These songs reflect the very spiritual being of Roger.
There is that time in the day (or night) in which cats are suddenly overcome with energy, and they have a wild look in their eye. They begin running at full speed throughout the house and seem to be entering an altered state of mind. This happens to Roger. He’ll run at full speed at his cat castle, fling himself into the air, and then kick off the dresser in what can only be described as the most beautiful acrobatic feat, which gymnasts can only dream of performing.
This is when Roger has transformed into what our household has dubbed “Dancer.” Roger becomes Dancer at least once a day, and it’s obvious that this is the song that fuels his artistic energy.
When he becomes Dancer, I imagine Roger singing at the top of his lungs, “You can dance! You can jive! Having the time of your life! Ohhh See that girl, watch that scene, diggin’ dancing queen, na na! La la la!”
Iggy Pop is still known for one of his earliest songs, "Search and Destroy," in which he sings, "I’m a street walking cheetah" and "The one who’s searchin’ to destroy." These lyrics are very representative of Roger -ÔÇô he’s always searching to destroy, and if I ever met anything that embodied the attitude of a "street walkin’ cheetah" it would be him.
Sometimes our household will hear "eeeeeeee-rriiip, eeee-riiippp, eee-riiipp," and we know it’s Roger destroying something. It’s the sound of a blanket, a favorite sweater, or a sock being ripped to shreds. Roger makes it his duty to find all knitwear in our house and tear it apart.
He doesn’t knead or snuggle in clothes. Instead he places his paws on the sweater, gathers it in his mouth, and pulls until it tears into shreds. It doesn’t end here, he tears down posters, tacks, and just about anything he can get his paws on. He’s the feline Iggy Pop.
Cats are known to hate water. So you can imagine my surprise when Roger pushed open the door and hopped in the shower with me. He has a history of loving water -ÔÇô as a kitten he would race into the bath after every shower to soak up the steam and lick the old bathwater (gross, I know).
But I never thought he would take the plunge and actually jump in the shower with running water. In other words, it’s as if Lou Reed told Roger just as he is about to go into the tub: “Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side.”
Despite Roger taking a walk on the wild side — occasionally eating hot Cheetos and jumping into running showers — that doesn’t mean he is brave all the time. He’s skittish around strangers and is terrified of just about every sound he doesn’t recognize.
As an indoor cat he lives a very sheltered life, and as a result, large garbage trucks — or any large commercial truck that drives by — will leave Roger running for his life.
Sometimes he’s okay and will emerge, but other times it’s as if he is determined to never leave the dark corner where he’s hiding. If he could talk, he could also sing. And if he could sing, he would sing “Bad Moon Rising” word for word, as it perfectly encompasses how he must feel when he’s terrified.
Roger is a tortured soul. He’s a tortured soul because no matter how hard he tries, he will never catch the red dot that teases him. The dot keeps him up at night, and it is what dictates entire evenings for him.
He’ll hear the jingle of the laser pen, and he’ll sprint into the room — ready to finally attack and kill the dot that causes him such anguish. It’s meant to keep Roger in shape, and ultimately he does “win” by catching his stuffed hedgehog.
It’s fun imagining Blondie singing this song for Roger as he hunts, because he will stop at nothing when it comes to capturing his “prey.”
There you have it — sometimes Roger is a heavy punk rocker like Iggy, and other days he dances around to the sound of Abba. What are some of the songs that would soundtrack the life to your cat? Let us know in the comments!
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