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5 National Holidays Cats Would Add to the Calendar

Humans celebrate National Boss' Day, but cats would rather recognize Office Supply Appreciation Day and Lost Toy Remembrance Day.

Angie Bailey  |  Jan 4th 2016


In addition to the multitude of well-known holidays and observances that pepper our calendars, there are more than a few “national days.” You’ve probably heard of some of the more common ones like National Boss’ Day (October 17) and National Cat Day (October 29), but there are a multitude of lesser-known days, some of which are a little on the wacky side. A couple of examples are National Public Sleeping Day (February 28), National Lumpy Rug Day (May 3), and National Lost Sock Memorial Day (May 9). Believe me when I say there’s a day for just about everything. Also, I think National Public Sleeping Day should be enforced by the authorities.

If given an opportunity, cats would certainly create their own special holidays. Here are five they’d add to their kitty calendars.

1.Office Supply Appreciation Day

phoebe-pen

The only ones who treasure a nice pen or Post-it note as much as we do are cats. To them, our desks are playgrounds stocked with an endless inventory of swattables. The wastebasket is a grab bag of paper wads, spent pens, and interesting wrappers. And let’s not forget the king of all desktop desirables: the printer. Cats more than appreciate any action that comes from that magical machine. An entire day spent on top of a desk isn’t nearly enough time to fully recognize and celebrate the glory of office supplies, but it’ll have to do.

2. Get to Know Your Catnip Day

cosmo-catnip-phoebe-looking-away

Most cats have some sort of relationship with catnip. Whether dried or fresh, this treat puts them in a total zen zone or revs them up like frisky speed demons. And then there are the cats who don’t seem to be affected at all by the stuff. Whatever the case, the nip is a staple in the feline culture, and cats would want to set aside a day to become one with it. Kitties could expect endless catnip party invitations on that day — deciding on which ones to attend would be a painful and nerve-racking experience. Feelings would be hurt.

3. National Laundry Basket Day

phoebe-laundry-basket

Every day is a great day to nap in a basket full of warm laundry — that’s the truth! But because the basket is sacred to cats one and all, they’d insist on creating a date on the calendar to give it its full due. Some cats might gather for group basket-naps, and others would spend the day alone, in meditative silence with their favorite basket. It’s such a personal thing, you know.

4. Angry Snuggle Prevention Day

angry snuggle

Cats know when they want to snuggle with humans, and they definitely know when they don’t want to get up close and personal. Humans sometimes attempt a snuggle when a cat’s not in the mood, resulting in what they call an “angry snuggle.” Sure, they’ll allow us to hold them, but they aren’t going to be be happy about it — not one bit. On Angry Snuggle Prevention Day, cats would share tips for avoiding such unwelcome gestures, as well as suggestions for new clawing techniques.

5. Lost Toys Remembrance Day

Cosmo catnip toys

Kitties definitely show preferences toward certain toys, and sadness ensues when those toys go missing. This grief is universal among all felines, and Lost Toys Remembrance Day would be a somber day on the feline calendar. Kitties would spend time in silence, thinking about the good times they’d had with the lost toys, and then they may gather in groups to swap stories about spit-soaked catnip bananas and milk jug rings with the perfect number of chew marks on them.

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.