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44 Uses for Cat Armor

Very smart people are creating cat armor in 3D printers and putting it on their cats. We thought up some reasons why they might be doing this.

Michael Leaverton  |  Mar 15th 2016


Last week we saw a story on cat armor, and we came away very impressed. The first part we don’t know very much about: A guy named Jawall at Thingverse decided to make armor for his cat Bobo using 3D printing. What’s 3D printing? Who the hell knows! It involves computers, lots of them.

“Once Bobo approved the sketch we went into 3D modeling, and the modeling took forever,” says Jawall on his video about the whole thing, which does not involve modeling clay. “And we just tweaked and tweaked and tweaked until Bobo felt the design was good enough to wear.”

And at the end of it all: cat armor! We understand this part.

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Jawall posted the “files” for his cat armor on the Thingverse site, allowing anyone to pop those files into their own 3D printer and create their own set of cat armor, which people are really doing. It’s like baking a cake. A 3D printer is like a big cardboard box with lots of wires inside; check your garage, you might have one there.

(Caution: Your oven is not a 3D printer, despite my cooking references.)

Now, you might be looking at your cat and wondering why on Earth she would need cat armor. Where’s your imagination? We can think up any number of uses. Forty-four uses, to tell you the truth.

44 uses for cat armor

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1. Sleeping under a toddler eating corn chips.

2. Engaging the Roomba.

3. Engaging the wet vac.

4. Napping on the patio during a hail storm.

5. Going to war with the squirrels.

6. Going to war with the pizza guy.

7. Going to war with your HOA.

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8. Putting the babysitter on notice.

9. Putting the vet on notice.

10. Putting those punk kids playing tag in the backyard on notice.

11. Showing the door to ol’ Gramps loitering near the magazines. (Bodega cats only.)

12. Cooling relations with the neighbor lady.

13. Confounding the mail carrier.

14. Battling crows.

15. Befriending beetles.

16. Wading into an anthill.

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17. Eating the dog’s food.

18. Eating the human’s food.

19. Eating the mail carrier’s food.

20. Eating the food at the restaurant down the block.

21. Eating whatever food whenever the heck you want, even the Thanksgiving turkey.

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22. Knocking the toiletries off the sink.

23. Knocking the silverware off the table.

24. Knocking the pictures off the wall.

25. Knocking the walls off the foundation.

26. Knocking that smile off your face.

27. Knocking some sense into your head.

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28. Toppling the bookshelves.

29. Smashing the lamps.

30. Upending the couches.

31. Destroying the daybeds.

32. Dismantling the car.

33. Tipping the refrigerator.

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34. Breaking into a poultry farm.

35. Breaking into a pizza restaurant.

36. Breaking into the mail truck.

37. Breaking into your bathroom.

38. Breaking into a marina to find a gravy boat.

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40. Scaring dogs.

41. Scaring guests.

42. Scaring babies.

43. Scaring everybody all the time for ever and ever.

44. Making sure nobody sleeps at night, ever.

Photos via Thingverse

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