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5 Popular Holiday Songs, Rewritten for Cats

Forget "Deck the Halls" and "Frosty the Snowman" -- your cats want to hear "Fill the Bowls" and "Frosty the Nipcat."

Angie Bailey  |  Dec 21st 2015


I’m one of those people who listens to Christmas carols right after Halloween. I know, I know — some of you are cursing me now, but I feel happy when I hear holiday music. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, and certain songs give me the ultimate nostalgic feels. Just the best! Of course, as long as I’m listening to the music, I may as well bake the cookies. It’d be kind of silly to waste all those feels. Plus, Christmas treats are the best. Don’t even try to argue with me about that business — it’s the truth.

In addition to my adoration of Christmas tunes and, of course, cats, I love writing parody songs. How fun would it be to write a few cat-themed parody verses of traditional Christmas songs? I’ll tell you — a lot of fun. In fact, I already wrote them and am here to share them with you today. Please feel free to sing along, especially if you work in close quarters with others. They’ll love it!

Here are five verses of popular holiday songs, rewritten by or about cats. Meowy Christmas!

1. “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Cat Puke” (to the theme of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”)

"I have a present for you."

“I have a present for you.” Photo by Shutterstock

It’s beginning to look a lot like cat puke

Ev’rywhere you go;

There’s a pile on the kitchen floor, right by the patio door

Hope you touch it only with your toe!

It’s beginning to look a lot like cat puke

Grab the cleaner jug;

‘Cause the sight you will probably see is the puke pile that will be

On your favorite rug!

2. “Walkin’ Around the Christmas Tree” (to the tune of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”)

"All the ornaments."

“All the ornaments.” Photo by Shutterstock

Walkin’ around the Christmas tree,

Until it’s time to flop.

Ornaments hung where you can see,

Bat them ’til they drop.

You will get an irritated feeling when you hear

Voices saying, “Stop it, kitty!”

Another one hits the floor, what a pity.

Walkin’ around the Christmas tree,

Low ornaments gone this time.

The holiday season’s not ruined yet,

Guess it’s time to climb!

3. “Jingle Balls” (to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

"I'm keeping this one safe."

“I’m keeping this one safe.” Photo by Shutterstock

Dashing through the house

Looking for some play

O’er the stairs we go,

Meowing all the way.

Bells in small balls ring

When they’re hit just right,

Oh what fun it is to swat a jingle ball tonight!

Oh, jingle balls, jingle balls

Sometimes life’s not fair.

It’s not fun to bat a ball

That rolls under a chair!

4. “Fill the Bowls” (to the tune of “Deck the Halls”)

"Santa knows his gravy."

“Santa knows his gravy.” Photo by Shutterstock

Fill the bowls with beef and liver,

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!

Feel our taste buds start to quiver,

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!

Down we now our bowls of dinner,

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!

Extra gravy is the winner,

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom!

5. “Frosty the Nipcat” (to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”)

Nipcat gets festive.

Nipcat gets festive. Photo by Shutterstock

Frosty the Nipcat, was a jolly, happy soul,

With snow-white fur, and a bag of nip, and a brand new scratching pole.

Frosty the Nipcat, is a catnip hog they say.

Had nip to spare, but he’d never share, then he changed his mind one day.

It must have been some magic in that Cuban nip he found,

For when he rolled around in it, he passed that nip around.

Oh, Frosty the Nipcat, was as kind as he could be,

The other cats say he could share all day, but not always for free.

 

Do you have a fun cat-themed holiday verse to share? Share it in the comments!

Read more by Angie Bailey:

About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (originated right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.