|Purred: Sat May 8, '10 6:19pm PST |
|Today was probably the hardest day I've had in the last 14 years.
My precious Suleiman, my love, my heart, my best friend and companion. We ate together, cuddled and slept together, sometimes even used the bathroom together (litterbox in the bathroom). We argued and he always got the last word in. Obstinate, stubborn, cantankerous. But also loving, smart, sweet, clean, clever.
He saved my life twice - literally.
I'm lost. I don't know what I'm going to do without him. I'm disabled, alone most of the time and I truly love him with all my heart. Well, what's left of it. He took most of it with him today when he left.
But I know it was time and so did he. It was calm, peaceful, respectful ... the doctor even made an imprint of both his hands in clay for me as a keepsake. And yes he is having a private cremation and yes I will have his ashes.
So he is no longer sick, suffering, in pain. He is at peace. And for that I am glad because it would be cruel and selfish to keep him here with me for my own sake while watching him suffer.
But now I'm wandering my apt. looking for him. No I'm not a kid, I'm 55 y/o. I just want my baby back. I miss him so much, I just don't know how to go on without him.
I love you Suleiman and always will.
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