How do I know when it's time?

Whether a cat dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved cat.

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Nicholas - (in memory- of)

Nicky the Fox
Purred: Wed Oct 31, '07 2:22pm PST 
Nicky is probably the best cat I will ever have, and I love him dearly. He is 15 years old, and has lived a very spoiled and loved life. In the last month he has totally changed. He is skin and bones, walks and moves like he hurts, walks really slowly, & doesn't always want to eat(which has always been his happiest time of the day!) He never looks comfortable. He still purrs, but just looks like he can't relax. The vet said he had a high white blood cell count, indicating an infection somewhere, and he has had around 2 weeks of antibiotics. His blood tests show he is much better, but he doesn't seem much better to me. One of the vets mentioned the possibility of a malignancy somewhere. I don't want him to start suffering more before I decide to put him to sleep. He can't tell me how much he hurts, and he hates to get medicine, like all cats do! I am just really upset. I don't want to jump the gun, but how will I know when it is time? He looks sad and very old to me! Any advice?

Athena (In- Memory)

Purrs and Love

Purred: Wed Oct 31, '07 11:30pm PST 
When Nicky stops eating completely and isn't interested in his surroundings, that may be the time. If he's hiding in the closet or under the bed that is a sign that he is in pain. Still, it may be just a "bug" that the antibiotics can eliminate with a little time. Malignancy is always a possibility, though.

If you have a good working relationship with your vets, they can help you with this. I have found that when I ask my vet, "Is this it?" and, in his opinion it isn't, he will tell me, "no, let's try other options". But if I ask him, "Is this it?" and he starts telling me that he can't make the decision for me, but all the options have been tried, etc., . . . kind of beating around the bush and not coming right out and saying it . . . then I know that he feels it IS the time to end it.

This is the hardest decision that we have to make and we have to make it alone, for no one knows our cat like we do ourselves. Then sometimes there is the look that they give us, or a touch of the paw, and we telepathically know that it is time.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Nicky now.

Purrs and Love,
Athena, Apollo and Aragorn

Bee Jay (in- loving- memory)

Angel Kitty
Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 12:31pm PST 
Athena is right. It is a difficult decision, and one that we frequently second guess once we do make it. But often our kitties relay that it is time by how they act (as Athena mentioned above). And the vet will indicate whether they think the kittie has something that will be treatable or not, even though they will not make the decision for you. Do investigate the options with a vet you trust if possible. Do try to spend some quality time with your kittie, and cherish whatever time you have left. And do, if and when you make the decision, realize that it is a final act of love that you give to your friend. Purrrrrs, BeeJay


Purr Power
Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 1:05pm PST 
Ugh. I know this must be so hard for you. No matter when you say good-bye to Nicky, you will probably always wonder if you waited too long or not long enough. It really can't be avoided because we just love our pets so much, and we always want to make the right choice. The truth is, there is no right or wrong choice, just a choice you think you can live with. All we can do for our pets is make the best possible choices for them based upon the information we have been given.

That said, I would talk with Nicky's vet extensively and find out what else can be done to make him more comfortable. I think Nicky will let you know when he is ready, and he will let you know in a way that will make you more certain than you are now. If he is getting any enjoyment out of his life and his surroundings, then I think it's ok to let him be for a while longer.

We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. No matter what you decide, I know it will be right for you and Nicky.

Nicholas - (in memory- of)

Nicky the Fox
Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 1:52pm PST 
Thank you for all your kind thoughts. My sweet Nicky is gone. I am heartbroken, but I know I did the right thing. My vet said she finally felt a mass in his abdomen last night. I wasn't surprised.
I did not want him to suffer anymore. I spent a long time loving and petting him before he went peacefully to sleep. He was purring and giving me head bumps before the end. I bought him on a Halloween weekend 15 years ago, and had to put him to sleep on Halloween night. I loved him so much. I know many people can't understand how much we love our cats. He was part of my family. I alternate between being okay and crying. There is a big hole in my heart and home. Thank you for understanding how hard it is! Debbie


Me, Me, Me, Me
Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 3:04pm PST 
cry To Nicky's Mom - We are so very sorry. Our Mom knows what you are going thru and how hard it is. It might not seem like it now - but it will get better. You did the right thing for Nicky and he is in no pain now. Our thoughts and purrs are with you.
Sherlock, Kritter and their Mom.

Bee Jay (in- loving- memory)

Angel Kitty
Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 3:36pm PST 
So very sorry for your loss. We have sent you a present and a pmail. Purrraying for comfort for your family at this time. Purrrrs, BeeJay

mow-mow (in- loving- memory)

issa mowwww!
Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 3:41pm PST 
i'm so sorry for your loss. nicky sounds like a loving cat and you provided a great home.
i too will have to go through the same thing in the next while. my mow-mow has malignant cancer and will only get more sick.

i'm dreading when that time will come.


Purr Power
Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 3:59pm PST 
Debbie, we are so very sorry about Nicky. You did the right thing given what the doctor found, but I know it is so hard. We wish you healing and comfort. We sent Nicky a gift too!

Apollo (In- Memory)

Love Ya !

Purred: Thu Nov 1, '07 11:05pm PST 
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days and endless hopeless nights?
I've lived my life and done my best, an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond to set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and living Light.
I want to go I really do, it's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.

To give you time to care for me and share your love and fears
I love you so, and that you know, because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know
That my spirit will be close to you wherever you may go.

Thank you for loving me, You know I love you too,
That's why it's hard to say goodbye and "end" this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time and let me hear you say,
Because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.
~author unknown~

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