JASPER
I promise to be- more careful- next time! | 
 | | Purred: Sat Apr 28, '07 11:51pm PST |  | |  | | I am sitting with my memories in our special field & I can see you now hiding in the grass.
Just waiting to jump out and catch the dog’s tail, as Ronan the Springer sprung past.
So many happy days you played in this field, or sunbathed at the foot of a tree.
Lying down beside me watching Ronan dig his holes, we were a happy little family just us 3.
With a child in her pram and Ronan by my side, you would follow but would struggle to keep pace.
Never once did I leave you behind little Jasper. I carried you as we went on our way.
What a strange sight we all must have looked? The neighbours must have had quite a laugh.
To see our little family going out for a walk: with me, the child, the dog and you – the cat.
With your lovely long body, and long slinky fur, my little girl would wrap you round her neck.
She would wear you like a scarf, and you never seemed to mind. You just loved her so you didn’t give a heck!
The week when you went missing, getting locked inside a shed, you gave us all such an awful fright.
We all put up posters and I did what I could., calling out your name throughout the night.
A week later when we found you so extremely relieved, we swore you wouldn’t ever go outside again.
But you would look up at the door, & cry to be released. It hurt us all to see you in such pain.
So again we let you out, again we let you roam, hoping in our hearts you would keep safe.
But one day when you limped home, with your wounds from some bad fight, your damaged leg seemed to seal your fate.
We tried to keep you in, as you hobbled on three legs, but again we did surrender to your cries.
So once again we set you free, to chase birds and climb up trees & live your perfect kitty life.
It was on an April morning when I had overslept, I normally wake at the break of dawn.
I got up for my breakfast, went outside and called your name, but Jasper had not come hobbling home.
I guess you must have heard me and tried to make it back. Oh Jasper- why did you wander so far?
It was in the rush hour traffic as you tried to cross the road, but three legs cannot outrun a car.
When I saw your shattered face and your broken little body, I begged the vet to try and make you live.
I am so sorry for your pain, and maybe you had hoped to die. I pray that this is something you forgive.
For 5 days you battled & my little boy was brave. your broken jaw and shattered hips so sore.
You found the strength to kiss me, even purr when you were stroked, but your hurting body couldn’t take much more.
You were coming home on Friday & I had everything here waiting. I bought you lots of gifts for poorly cats.
But on Tuesday came the phone call, & the words I feared to hear, “I am so sorry, but Jasper has collapsed”
It seems you had a blood clot that had floated to your brain; I prayed you would hang on till I arrived.
The vet reassured me you weren’t in much pain, but I can’t forget your twisted face and cries.
Your body looked so fragile and your legs so very cold, You heard my voice, & knew that I was by your side.
I wrapped my arms around you, & in your final moments in loving arms, my Jaspers body died.
I brought my baby home, and I lay you in your bed. You were still warm, and just looked to be asleep.
We all said our goodbyes, not believing you were dead, We cannot count the many tears we’ve had to weep.
You’ve been buried now for 2 days, and it’s our turn now to heal. yet it’s so hard to just be normal and forget.
We blame ourselves so much, we should have never let you out, but we cannot live our lives with sad regret.
Looking out at the yellow fields against the skies of blue & the cherry blossom floating on the breeze.
I always knew you were an outdoor cat who would have hated life indoors, not able to chase birds, and climb up trees.
And if you had recovered with dodgy legs and missing bits, what kind of sorry life for you was that?
I guess you went away & chose not to stay, because heavens a better place to be a cat.
I am glad you are at peace now & I am happy that you are happy. I know that we will meet again some day.
But right now- I miss my Jasper, I can’t believe that you’re not with me & I so wish that you had never gone away.
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