|Purred: Fri May 13, '11 6:46am PST |
|Oh Remy, I know how it is. I had to put my Hanna down a little over a year ago. I put it off as long as I could. I was devistated! I really didn't have time for her sickness to actually "sink in". She was diagnosed with a UTI and then three weeks later, she died of a brain tumor. I never in my life thought that someone, or any living creature could be in perfect health and die that fast. I shouldn't say die, she didn't go on her own. I had to put her to sleep, which deep down makes me feel like a murderer.
Hannas Story (shortened)
Week one: diagnosed with a UTI, was prescribed Zeniquin
Week two: UTI cleared, left eye dilated. Was told to bring her to an opthamologist. Diagnosed with bilateral mild glaucoma, prescribed drops. Cause of the glaucoma: ZENIQUIN
Week three: both eyes squinting constantly. Can't find her food. Very wobbly when she walked. Tongue sticking out constantly and drooling EVERYWHERE! Brought her to her vet 3 times over that week and was told "she is fine" On Sunday, I felt as if she was gasping for breath. Then I knew I had to do something. Brought her to the ER vet, and she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Had to put her to sleep.
During those 3 weeks, all I did was cry. I cried at home, I cried at work, people looked at me like I was mourning a parent or something. I don't have children of my own, Hanna was my baby. I felt as if no one understood.
Want to know how I made my decision to end her suffering? Well I just had that gut feeling that when I brought her to the ER I would be leaving without her. I knew what I had to do, but I needed to hear from a professional I was doing the right thing. He said they could operate, but there is no quarantee that she would make it. Then I asked if she was in pain, he said that her eyes probably burn from the drops, she was wobbly because the tumor was impacting her balance, and she hardly had any control of her tongue. I then asked him what he would do. He said it was my decision. I didn't want to hear that. I said if she was his cat, what would you do? He then said, I would end her suffering. So I did. And you know what, now that I think of it, I don't regret it. I was being selfish, I didn't want her to leave me. It wasn't about me, it was about her. What was best for Hanna. After seeing how she was living, I'm glad she isn't suffering anymore.
I don't think there is "The Right Time" if we all care about our cats deeply then our 'gut instinct' should tell us. I listened to mine. I just wish I knew about this site when I was going through all of that with Hanna, I could of definiately used the support and someone to talk to.
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