The Baboo Kitty- has Spoken!
|Purred: Sun Oct 12, '14 11:12am PST |
|Dear Flo's daddy,
I would like to take the time to reply to you personally, and hope you are still around to read this-as I know it's been difficult for many to get onto Catster.
Ruffy's mom here,
Your post hurt my heart. Firstly, it sounds like you really went through a great deal. Please know you did all you could for your beloved Flo. Sometimes, things happen that even very good vets have a time figuring out.
Two, please understand that what you have gone through is very traumatic and sad. Flo was a young cat, who might have had things going on for awhile you weren't aware of. She might have had this going on when it wasn't evident, and you didn't see it becuase cats are so good at hiding things.
That said, losing a cat, being with them during euthanasia is life changing. I'd like to share something with you.
Last week, we had to do this for our beloved Ruffy. To tell you that Ruffy was old, very old doesn't matter. Ruffy was my husband's cat. He was, and remains a larger than life part of mine.
I wasn't afraid, I was incredibly sad. I still am.
But Ruffy had been very very ill for 3 weeks, deteriorating little by little. Age and an unknown illness crept up, taking more and more from him.
The night we went to the vet, I asked if there was another miracle he could pull off. He told me, sadly, that he had tried everyhting. I got the diagnosis of full blown feline aids combined with advanced old age.
We spent some time together, and our wonderful vet waited for my hsuband to get off work and come to us. In the meanwhile, Ruffy and I spent time together in a nice warm room, he on a comfortable blanket under a heat lamp, and me holding him.
When he went, I had been afraid of how I'd feel, but I was ok. I could, it may sound strange to you-I felt Ruffy 'whoosh' up and out and I felt a part of me sad, and another of intense joy because Ruffy had left behind a body he couldn't use-but he was still Ruffy-and very much himself and alive-just not in the beloved form we had come to know.
Its so sad to lose someone we love so, and it's harder when we have to be the ones to assist them to leave. But it's the most unselfish thing we can do, and love that begins with that knowing and trust is always laced with the 'what ifs'.
I will tell you something-everything you did, you did with love. You were with your girl for her whole life, and that in itself is wonderful and a blessing.
A few months ago, we lost a beloved foster kitten-and I felt terrible grief and anguish. What if I had seen it sooner, what if I had spent more money trying to save her, well, when I took in my next litter of kittens, I was terrified.
But knock wood, they are ok. And my Bethany is...yes...too. I don't kwnow why she was here for such a short time, but maybe, it was for us to learn that love dances on in another form.
Some gentle advice-don't keep it in. Cry, rage, and let it out-we who love those fey, gentle souls experience truly the divine-and touch perhaps all that is sacred with the purrs left in our hearts.
Please feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk more, and know that though Catster is still a bit out of sorts, we are all here for you.
love and light,
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