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Dino
Momma's Boy
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 | | Purred: Wed Nov 25, '09 6:47am PST | |  | |  | |  Today's Joke!
Conversion
John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of
Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating
cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John, he was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it
anymore. They decided to try and convert John to Catholicism. They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic."
The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved. The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came,
and just at supper time, when the neighborhood was setting down to their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting
smell of steak cooking on a grill. The neighborhood men could not believe their noses!
WHAT WAS GOING ON?
They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see if he had forgotten it was the first
Friday of Lent? The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water. He was sprinkling some water over his steak on the grill, saying, "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish." |  |  | |  |
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Dino
Momma's Boy
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| | Purred: Thu Nov 26, '09 8:44am PST | | | | | | Today's Joke!
How Much?
A Lady walks into a Mercedes dealership. She browses around, then spots
the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine
leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks
around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes
a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing
next to her is Andre a salesman.
"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching
it, you are going to SH** when you hear the price." | | | | |
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Dino
Momma's Boy
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| | Purred: Fri Nov 27, '09 6:27am PST | | | | | | Today's Joke!
Access To Heaven
These three married couples died and when they got to the pearly gates. St.Peter told the first husband, "I can't let you in. You let alcohol run your life. You even married a girl named Sherry." Dejected, he turned and walked away.
The next married couple stepped up, and St.Peter told the husband, "Can't let you in sir. While you were on earth, you allowed money to run your life. You even married a girl named Penny." The guy hung his head, turned and walked away.
The husband of the third couple waiting in line, overheard both conversations and said, "Come on, Fanny, he's not going to let us in either." | | | | |
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Dino
Momma's Boy
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| | Purred: Sat Nov 28, '09 6:37am PST | | | | | | Today's Joke!
Snoring Problems
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's "family Jewels" and he will stop snoring. "Yeah, right," she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's "family jewels". Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and carefully ties it around her husband's "family jewels". Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The next morning, the husband wakes up hung over. He stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a red ribbon attached to his dog's Family Jewels. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says, "Boy, I don't remember where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place." | | | | |
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