As the World Purrs past Episodes

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I'm the king and- don't you forget- it

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 12:45pm PST


	As The World Purrs Prelude Spice here and I just wanted to share a strange bit of news. My little brother Pumpkin somehow (we don’t know how) managed to get over our cat proof fence and was in our neighbors yard! Our back yard has a special fence around it that is supposed to keep all us cats in. Well, today, Pumpkin escaped! I think he was a little unhappy about being always last in the cat roll call. He sure did carry on about it! Also, Mommy and Auntie (and Daddy too) have been feeding a little stray kitty on the other side of the fence. Today Mommy and Auntie gave her a name and will be calling her Thistle, because that fits in with the herbs and spices of the other 6 cats (Rascal is excluded) only she is a bit of a wild thing so Thistle should fit her well. I think that means it won’t be long before we’ll have an 8 kitty household even though Daddy still maintains “NO MORE CATS!” The girls (humans) usually win in these things because Daddy is a softie when it comes to cats. We don’t have a picture of her yet but expect to soon. So with any luck our Kitty roll call will be: Pepper, Sugar, Spice, Ginger, Rascal, Cinnamon, Pumpkin and Thistle - Pumpkin won’t be last any longer! But then, he won’t be the baby any longer either! I guess he can’t have it both ways!

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:09pm PST


	As The World Purrs Episode: 1 Tonight Mommy and Auntie smuggled Thistle into the house so she could have some turkey. She was a little frightened, but loved the turkey and Daddy was none the wiser (he was already in bed)! The adoption process is still proceeding slowly because Daddy is still maintaining “NO MORE CATS!” but we know he loves cats and it’s just a matter of time before Thistle is a full fledged member of the family. The rest of us cats don’t seem to mind Thistle, that is all except Cinnamon. But then, she always has had a hairball to hack up about something, Thistle is just this month’s excuse. We’ll keep everyone posted on the many trials and tribulations of the condiment, plus one, family! The plus one is Rascal who isn’t a condiment (gotta be different)!

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:09pm PST


	As the World Purrs Episode: 2 Well, Thistle didn’t show up for dinner tonight. Mommy thinks it’s because there was another stray out near where she presents herself for loving attention and food. Or maybe she decided to sleep in. That lazy kitten! Rascal reported that she didn’t see her from her vantage point on the roof. She’s been told not to get on the roof and got into trouble yesterday when our neighbor rang the door bell at 7:30am frantically telling us that one of our cats was on the roof. This of course, woke the entire household and so everyone was more than a little miffed at her. Everyone knew who was on the roof, no brainer on that one! Spice swatted her and rolled her in the dirt when she finally came down, but you know that won’t deter her from going up again. Sugar offered to start another tunnel to give Thistle her own private door into the yard and Cinnamon offered to help. That was sweet of them, but I had to remind them that they would be sure to get caught and get baths for their trouble. Ginger is still not sure who Thistle is and is constantly looking in the closet for her. Pumpkin wants to send out a search party for her. I think it’s just an excuse to leave the yard. I, Pepper have been most supportive and have offered my sage advice to Mom and Auntie on the matter. Daddy is still oblivious to the whole scenario. Since he has to get up at 3:00am to go to work, he has to go to bed early and pretty much misses everything that goes on around here. That is to our advantage, sometimes, especially when we want to smuggle a certain errant kitty into the house!

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:10pm PST


	As the World Purrs Episode: 3 As you may recall, Thistle didn’t come to dinner because of another cat’s presence at her special eating spot. The good news is little Thistle came to dinner as usual the night following the rude visit by the stray. She was dirty and hungry, but still scared of us other cats, so she growled as she ate. I can’t help but wonder how she survives out there all alone. She’s a pretty little thing and I told Ginger he might reconsider his reported indiscretions involving Rascal, who’s nick name is “Potty Mouth” because she is so vocal in her criticisms of all of us other cats. He just looked at me with big eyes and said “Thistle, who’s that?” Like I said so many times in the past …..CLUELESS! Even Pumpkin knows who Thistle is and he is the “Pinhead” of the group! Daddy is still totally in the dark about our nighttime smuggling activities even though I think we will have to tell him soon. Just the other night, he made the comment “So now we have 8 cats?” We are definitely winning the war! This past week Thistle has been to dinner almost every night and has shown up for breakfast too. Maybe she will start putting on a little weight and not look so thin. Cinnamon is still nasty toward Thistle. She rushes at the fence every time she sees Thistle and acts real ugly. Mommy, Daddy and Auntie are concerned about what will happen when the little one becomes a full member of the family, will Cinnamon hurt her? All of us other cats seem to already accept Thistle and have absolutely no problem with the idea of 8 cats instead of our former 7. I am already looking forward to grooming the little girl, I hear she is very dirty and really needs a bath. Sugar is still indifferent, but I think that is because she isn’t well. We think it is a thyroid problem. She is losing a lot of weight and is quite bald on the top of her head. Mom and Auntie think the baldness is due to the sunscreen. Spice is very curious about Thistle but it’s not in a nasty way. I think he is looking for another subject in his realm to boss around. Rascal is still potty mouthing the whole Thistle affair, but I think she’ll come around soon. Pumpkin talks to Thistle through the fence and says some of the sweetest things to her, I think he’s sweet on her. Well as they say, “As the World Purrs”

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:11pm PST


	As the World Purrs Episode: 4 Thistle is now a full member of the family! She spent her first night with us in the house. All though she had to be confined to the guest bedroom, not that she’s a guest but that Mommy was afraid to leave her unsupervised in the house with the rest of us cats. Well I guess she had a legitimate concern. Cinnamon had to inspect Thistle up close and personal, but to the amazement of all of us, she wasn’t ugly or in any way aggressive toward her, at first. Thistle was the growly one! Rascal was her usual “Potty Mouth” self, hissing and making ugly faces at a very unconcerned Thistle. The youngster just batted a mousy around like she didn’t even notice Rascal, which only ticked Rascal off so she just stalked off into her room and pouted. Spice totally ignored Thistle and acted as though he didn’t see her. Ginger was very well behaved, he watched her in a most detached way as though he couldn’t care less. I on the other hand had to come up and take a good look at the newbie and give her a fatherly sniff. Unfortunately she wouldn’t let me get close enough to sniff. So I had to sniff the air around her and determined that it was a good thing Mommy and Auntie defied Daddy and brought the little scamp in. I think she’s in heat! Just in time I think! Daddy made a big fuss over the mutiny but was the first to ask if she had a litter box in the guest room for her. He’s all bluff and hot air! Mommy and Auntie don’t think he’ll stay mad for long. Thistle got her first “top spot” treatment for fleas. She will probably see the vet very soon. Just this morning Auntie clipped her claws, so she won’t seem like a small wiggley porcupine! Wow, does that little girl have energy to burn! Mom and Auntie have already nick named her “Live Wire” and a few other less complementary words as they nurse scratches and a few nibbles. She isn’t being vicious just very playful. Cinnamon may have to go into “time-out” in the cat carrier for antagonizing Thistle. She goes into “time-out” for chewing on Ginger all the time and Mommy, Daddy and Auntie still think it is the most humane way of discipline there is. The offending kitty goes into the carrier and the timer is set for 2 hours. We hate this more than getting spritzed in the face with water. It generally works and the jailbird behaves for at least a month before repeating the offense. Some of us never have to go back in after our first indiscretion, we learn our lesson and never repeat. However, Cinnamon is a hardened criminal! She is a repeat offender! So the warning is out – BEWARE OF REPEAT OFFENDER CINNAMON THE HARDENED CRIMINAL!

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:11pm PST


	As the World Purrs Episode: 5 Scandalous activities have been happening right under our roof! Rascal and Ginger have been keeping secret liaisons in the sewing room, this is a known fact and has been going on for some time now, but last night they were caught in Rascal’s bedroom! Maybe we should title this episode “Rascal’s Place” or “The Days of Our 9 Lives” or “The Purry and The Restless” or “General Veterinarian” or “The Furry and The Beautiful” or maybe “All My Kittens”……maybe not. We’ve all been fixed, no kittens here. Any way, pure decadence and right under our noses! Boy, are the cat tongues wagging! Ginger keeps assuring us that he’s only sneaking some of Rascal’s kibble and Rascal just hisses and tells us to mind our own business. Spice thinks that if Ginger can sneak some of Rascal’s kibble, then, so can he. Auntie comes unglued whenever any cat other than Rascal comes into her room, so Ginger is definitely sneaking without an invite from her. Cinnamon is very much put out by Ginger’s behavior. She seems to think that he is getting preferential treatment just because he gets to eat Rascal’s kibble. She is still sulking. I sneak in when Mom is there, she comes in at night to answer Paw Mail with Auntie. Auntie can’t say too much with Mom there, but she does gripe a lot. I just ignore her and help my self to Rascal’s kibble. It is odd that even though it is the same kibble we have in our cat bowls in the kitchen, it is somehow tastier and much more desirable! Sugar has always snuck in and stolen kibble so she isn’t in the least bit perturbed about the Ginger gate scandal. Pumpkin is too young and stupid to know the impropriety of the situation and doesn’t understand why he can’t have Rascal’s kibble in the first place. Why can’t we have her kibble? Well, Auntie doesn’t want any cats other than Rascal in her room and since Rascal’s kibble is in her room, no cats other than Rascal is allowed in. Now that Mom comes into Auntie’s room at night to read Paw Mail, the rest of us cats feel that we should be allowed in as well. Mom backs us up on this, but Auntie is being stubborn. In the mean time, Ginger and Rascal are sneaking around behind everyone’s backs doing who knows what in the sewing room and now Auntie’s room! Scandalous! Meow, meow, MEOW! The thing that bothers me is……Ginger? Not me? He is so naïve and down right clueless, he wouldn’t know what to do with a lady cat even if one was tied to his tail! I told Ginger that when Thistle became a member of the family that she would be a better girlfriend than Rascal, at least she isn’t a potty mouth like Rascal! I mean really, everyone in the house loves Thistle (all that is except Cinnamon)! I think Cinnamon would be happier as an only cat! Well, we’ll tackle that problem when we have to.

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:12pm PST


	As the World Purrs Episode: 6 Things have settled down as much as can be expected in our house – the house of the “Condiment plus one Group”! Thistle is finding her way in her new family and has made friends with all but Cinnamon. Cinnamon would be spending her entire life in “The Dungeon of Doom” if it weren’t for the OFFICE. Mommy has something she calls her at home office which looks suspiciously like a built in garage with desks! The OFFICE is generally off limits to us cats but now, it is a quarantine area for Cinnamon. In the mornings when Auntie feeds us cats, she feeds Cinnamon separately and opens the back door of the OFFICE and lets Cinnamon out into the back yard. She doesn’t open our kitty door in the back of the Florida room though…….Bummer! We have to wait at the back door and give her the EYES of the discontented kitty until she lets each of us out one at a time. Thistle wasn’t allowed out because Cinnamon would be waiting to pounce on her. All of us (except Cinnamon) felt so sorry for little Thistle. Our specially fenced backyard is our most cherished part of living with humans. We get to climb trees and hunt lizards and bugs and just enjoy the sun, but not little Thistle! Sugar is still offering to dig a hole for her even though I keep telling her that she can’t dig a hole into the house! Rascal keeps getting Auntie to open the door to let her in and out several times in the day in the hopes that Thistle will be able to slip out. Spice has made some very vocal protests about the fact that the kitty door stays closed. Pumpkin sits and watches Thistle and chirps at her trying to give her advice on how to sneak through the door when Rascal gets Auntie to open it. I have offered my sage advice on the merits of staying in, I don’t venture out much. Thistle seemed to resign herself to the life of the indoor kitty and was a little sad that the other kitties could go out and she couldn’t. That is, until today! Daddy waited until Cinnamon had enough of the outdoors and went back into the OFFICE to take a nap and he quietly closed the OFFICE back door. He then, to our joy, opened the Kitty door and let us have the freedom to come and go as we pleased! Thistle was so cute, as she tentatively poked her nose through the swinging flap and then “oooozzzzed” through. Daddy was sitting on the stoop watching her. He wanted to make sure she would know how to come back in when she wanted to and that she didn’t hurt herself trying to go over the “cat proof” fence. He really is a softie when it comes to us cats! He even calls Thistle cute little nicknames like “Pistle”, “Little One” and “Thing-a-ma-bopper”. I’m not sure where that last one came from. Ginger went out to show her how to use the kitty door to come back in. He is such a Lady’s Cat! He is such a smoooooze when it comes to the ladies that is, all except Cinnamon, she hates him. But then, I think she hates all people in fur. But all in all we are starting to settle into a routine of some sorts. The only problem of course is Cinnamon. I have told her that if she didn’t straighten her act out Mommy and Daddy would find her a new home. She only hissed at me and I really can’t repeat what she said! I thought Rascal was the potty mouth! MEOW! This cat’s ears are still burning!

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:12pm PST


	As the World Purrs Episode 7 What is it with Ginger? Now he is “sleeping around!” Before Cinnamon was confined to lockup in the OFFICE, Ginger slept on Mommy’s pillow at the top of her head, now Mommy says he hasn’t been doing that. I tried to explain to Mommy that with Cinnamon not able to pounce and chew on him, he is starting to find other places to sleep. This is not very happy news to Mommy and Auntie even caught him sleeping in her room with Rascal! As you may recall we (us cats) were all worried about the scandalous goings on with Rascal and Ginger but now we have to include Thistle. The two miscreants have been extra friendly with Thistle and I can’t help but wonder what they are thinking of….a threesome! MEOW! Not in my house they won’t! Sugar has told me not to interfere, they are all fixed or at least will be by the 6th of June (Thistle’s spaying surgery) and what harm could there be? Well, it’s just the principal of the thing! But what can be done? Youngsters these days! The good news is Sugar has started sleeping in Mom and Dad’s room on her special mat and is continuing to get better. We’ve all noticed that there is a small amount of white fuzz showing up on the top of her poor little bald head! The Best news of all is that she has gained 2 pounds since going on insulin, MEOW! Mommy has not put any more sunscreen on her because she is sure that the sunscreen is what made her go bald to begin with. Which is good because that stuff tasted horrible! I’m still making faces over it! About Cinnamon, Mommy and Auntie started her on something called “Rescue Remedy” and they are hoping it will calm her down. The thing is they (Mommy and Auntie) started putting the stuff in all of our food and water, yuck! We are only now starting to eat with out trying to cover it up like poo poo in a litter box. All we cats know is “Oh the wonderful colors” how pleasant life is……..yeah, right! Cinnamon had better snap out of it or all of us cats are going to form a lynch mob and we’ll be saying “here kitty, kitty, kitty…” I wonder if we would get in trouble if we boxed her up and sent her to Australia? Pumpkin thinks it’s a wonderful idea and has been looking for a box that is big enough for a 20 pound cat. Spice wants to call the post office and find out what the postage would be and I keep reminding them that they can’t ship a live animal like that….I mean, I really think they need to put some air holes in the box somewhere. Of course Rascal assures us that Cinnamon doesn’t need air holes, but then how can we believe anything Rascal says? I don’t think she thinks these things out. Either that or she has one wicked sense of humor. Thistle just watches with big eyes wondering what we’re going on about…..she doesn’t seem to notice a change in the taste of our food. She’s just happy to have food on a regular basis. She still eats like there is no tomorrow! Spice tells us that we will eventually get used to the taste and we won’t even notice it’s there. How the heck does he know? He doesn’t even eat cat food! He has always eaten boiled, skinless, boneless chicken breast from the time he was weaned. Maybe Mommy and Auntie need to start adding Rescue Remedy to his chicken! That’d shut him up!

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:13pm PST


	As The World Purrs Episode 8 Spice has got to be the silliest cat in the world! He was in the OFFICE (off limits to us cats) and decided to jump up on the washer and into Auntie’s empty laundry basket. That would have been fine, however, Spice is a very big cat! You guessed it! The basket fell off the washer with Spice in it, over it tumbled, flipping over to land face down with Spice enclosed within. I ran over to see if he was alright and of course he was. He said it was kind of cool and started scooting around with the basket looking very much like a square turtle. I wonder if that is what they mean by a “Box Turtle”? Sugar laughed and said she was reminded of what Mommy said about S.W.A.T. Mommy said all they do is come in fully armored and move en mass with a thump, thump, thump step a little like a tank. Spice thought this was even better than the box turtle idea and proceeded to thump, thump, thump around the room bumping into everything in his path. Pumpkin jumped on top of the basket and yowled like a siren and Rascal played the role of perpetrator trying to flee the thump, thumping S.W.A.T. cat! Ginger watch from under Mommy’s desk, his eyes were so big, he looked like he was wearing glasses. I think he was remembering all those clandestine meetings in the sewing room. I think he was wondering if he could be arrested by the S.W.A.T. cat for illicit activities? You know what they say about a guilty conscience! Cinnamon was taking up the rear of the S.W.A.T. cat vehicle trying to chomp on Spice’s tail. This only made him growl and Rascal hiss (such a potty mouth). Thistle ran out of the OFFICE and came back with Mommy and Auntie in tow….the little tattle tail! She’s definitely a member of the family and worse! She’s a sister! A LITTLE sister! “Who left the door open?” Mommy yelled. “OUT!” Then Mommy started shooing cats out right and left, I don’t think she saw Spice under the basket because she turned to leave and shut the door. BANG! The laundry basket impacted against the step. Spice yowled “Don’t leave me, Mommy!” Thistle ran back into the OFFICE and Mommy squeaked. Auntie just laughed. Daddy came running when he heard Mommy squeak. He almost tripped over me and managed to step on Cinnamon’s tail. I howled and Cinnamon pounced on Daddy’s bare foot making him yelp. It was kind of funny to watch Daddy hopping around with his foot in the air and Cinnamon going after his other foot. Auntie was laughing so hard she was crying. By now all of us cats were back in the OFFICE running around like mad kitties knocking things off desks and bookcases. Spice was sitting quietly under the basket watching the ruckus. Daddy was the one who seemed to come to his senses first. He hopped over to the door and closed it. He then proceeded to toss cats out one at a time. He finally got to Spice who started the whole thing in the first place. “Poor Fluffy Butt, are you Ok?” Spice had the audacity to look totally innocent of any wrong doing and even purred when Daddy picked him up! The rest of cats were told how bad we were and Spice got treats! Oh the Injustice of it All!

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there's no place- like under the- bed

Purred: Mon Jun 26, '06 1:14pm PST


	As The World Purrs Episode 9 Oh what a week this has been! I, Pepper do solemnly swear that this is the “Pick on Pepper Week!” Firstly, I was so excited about my ladylove Sugar’s recovery from the brink of death that I nuzzled and loved on her until Mommy yelled “Pepper! Leave that little girl alone!” I looked up at her with my best “Who me?” look and would have pulled it off except that I had white Sugar fur sticking out on both sides of my mouth. This was not such a bad thing to happen but wouldn’t you know, it didn’t stop there! Thistle knocked the bottle of Rescue Remedy off the counter and it shattered. She took off like a kitten with a feather tied to her tail and I went to investigate the damage. Auntie came in and saw the shattered bottle and saw me sniffing around. You guessed it! I got blamed! Then to make matters worse Rascal was in the cat condo in Mommy and Daddy’s room. This by itself is nothing to be concerned about. The thing is, she was shadowboxing the car headlights on the wall. Thump, bang, scratch and yowl, she was having a good time. The problem was, it was 2 AM and Daddy was trying to sleep! So I jumped up on the condo and chased her down, but by then both Mommy and Daddy were awake and guess who they saw on the condo? Me! Mommy yelled and Daddy threw one of the small pillows at me! I bolted and knocked the condo over. It fell on the floor with a resounding thud, knocking stuff off the dresser in the process. Sugar was in the middle of the condo and was thrown to the floor, Ginger was on the dresser and nearly got beaned, Spice came running into the room and swatted me! Pumpkin ran and hid and Mommy spent almost an hour trying to find him. Thistle and Cinnamon were the only two that weren’t involved. Cinnamon is still under quarantine in the OFFICE and Thistle was sleeping in Aunties room and slept through the whole thing. Later that day, I tried to let Mommy know that I was innocent and please do not be angry with me. So I went to her and put out my paw to get her attention and delicately tapped her knee with one claw. She jumped and squeaked, knocking the hassock over and dumped me unceremoniously to the floor “Pepper! You bad cat!” Sugar, my ladylove, laughed at me and said that my reputation of being a “Goodie 4 Paws” was in serious jeopardy, Spice pounced on me and rolled me over onto my back. Rascal charged at me and hissed (she’s such a potty mouth)! Even Ginger glared at me and he is such a lover, he never has a cross word to say to anyone. Then to make matters worse Thistle chased me under the bed, I think she wanted to play but I wasn’t in the mood. Especially since Thistle pull the old “knock something off the counter and blame Pepper for it”, twice now! The second time it was the little plastic cups and even though I didn’t jump to the floor to inspect the damage, she took off and left me sitting on the counter looking very guilty. So now, here I am, hiding under the bed, hoping this week will end…..soon! I know they all love me but Geeesh give a cat a break!

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