Joke of the Day!

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Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Sat Jul 3, '10 6:31am PST


	Today's Joke! Sent by God A 2nd grader asked her mother the age-old question, "How did I get here?". Her mother told her, "God sent you." "Did God send you, too?" asked the child. "Yes, Dear," the mother replied. "What about Grandma and Grandpa?", the child persisted. "He sent them also," the mother said. "Did he send their parents, too?", asked the child. "Yes, Dear, He did," said the mother patiently. "So you're telling me that there has been no sex in this family for 200 years! No wonder everyone's so grouchy around here."

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Sun Jul 4, '10 6:13am PST


	Today's Joke! Happy Fourth of July! The Moped An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?" The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!" "That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?" "Because this car can do up to 220 miles an hour!" states the doctor proudly. The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?" "No problem," replies the doctor. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right.... but I'll stick with my Moped!" Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 150 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer ! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH! Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself. He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 180 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 200 mph and he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN! Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 220 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do ! Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, "I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you ?" The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!"

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Mon Jul 5, '10 6:35am PST


	Today's Joke! It Hurts Jack's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Jack, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts." She was barely out of the room when the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?" "She knows now," Jack replied.

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Tue Jul 6, '10 7:51am PST


	Today's Joke! the duck and the crackers A duck walks into a bar. It asks the bar tender if he has any crackers?? The bartender says No. The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks the same question. The bartender says "No, i dont have any crackers," The next day the same thing happens, with the same response from the bartender. On the 4th day the duck came in and asked the same question. The bartender says "No, i dont have any crackers and if you ask again i will nail your beak to the floor!!" The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks if the bartender has any nails. the bartender says No. The duck says "Good, do you have any crackers!?!?!"

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Wed Jul 7, '10 6:02am PST


	Today's Joke! Sitting In The Car A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine. The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on. "Listening to music," the guy says. Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?" "Reading a magazine, of course." "How old are you?" asks the officer. "I'm 28." "And how old is she?" The guy looks at his watch and says, "Well in 11 minutes she'll be 18."

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Thu Jul 8, '10 7:08am PST


	Today's Joke! Bad News Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Fri Jul 9, '10 6:13am PST


	Today's Joke! Going Out A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver:"He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not sh*t in the vegetable garden again either!"

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Sat Jul 10, '10 6:25am PST


	Today's Joke! Too Close A blonde had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?" "Braille," she replied.

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Sun Jul 11, '10 6:50am PST


	Today's Joke! First Time Nude On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever". She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

Dino

Bambino!

Purred: Mon Jul 12, '10 4:58am PST


	Today's Joke! Lost Dad A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big boobs."

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