|Purred: Mon Aug 22, '11 8:36pm PST |
|I didn't think I'd be writing this any time soon; well, I hoped not. My fiance and I are absolutely torn to shreds over this, and he rarely cries ever, but he said "this is the worst feeling ever".
Despite everything we've done, Velcro began declining. Slowly at first, it was "just" her feline herpes getting worse. But she was eating and drinking and enjoying being on our lap just fine. She stopped playing a lot though. Antibiotics have done nothing in the long run except give her some tummy problems and clear up symptoms for a week, before they returned. Since there is no cure for feline herpes, we tried her on antibiotics for months at different times with no luck. Then came the past two days. We rushed her to the vet. The prognosis was really bad, and her quality of life even after everything was going to be very poor. She was spiraling down and not stopping, secondary infections despite being only indoors and not exposed to other cats. A tumor/abcess that was likely to spread, developed gum disease this year (she always had bad gums, we gave RMB's and the dental treats the veterinarian suggested, anesthetic is always really risky with her), signs of feline leukemia or cancer. That day she was really insistent about getting outside, we think she was trying to go off and die somewhere. Because she was never that desperate to try and get out since the vets were able to spay her. We had to make the most humane decision, given that her quality of life was going to be so poor and that it was now.
She was estimated to be around 8 - 11 years of age now. I noticed though on her profile I put her birthdate as the day we found her, because at the time I thought she was under 6 months old. Later her regular vet told us she was approximately 2 - 4 years, or even 5 based on her teeth, but that she could have even been older, but "definitely not younger than 2 years".
Velcro found us, she followed my fiance to a friends' house. She was tiny because she was so malnourished; unvaccinated, intact, no microchip. With the help of a wonderful woman here, we fixed all that. But then we found out she had feline herpes, and that odds are she would definitely not live the average lifespan of a normal, healthy cat. But we tried. We gave high quality foods, lysine, lots of TLC and vet care. We loved her like a member of the family. Once fixed she became a wonderful little cat, so loving despite being dumped by some heartless human, she learned to love humans again. She also learned how to play with cat toys and for the first few years really enjoyed them.
It was the hardest thing to do, but we stayed with her when they gave her the injection. She did not struggle or protest at all (not normal for her at a vet's office). She affectionately head-butted my hand as I rubbed the side of her cheek as she went, I didn't stop petting and talking soothingly to her until she stopped breathing. I just couldn't let her die alone or with strangers, even though it destroyed us both to watch her go.
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