Goodbye Lola, I love you...

Whether a cat dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, this is the place to gather together to give and receive love and support when you experience the loss of a beloved cat.

(Page 2 of 2: Viewing entries 11 to 17)  
1  2  

I may meow to- you if you're- worthy
Purred: Sat Jul 9, '11 2:55pm PST 
sending purrs to you. Lola got a wonderful year of love with you, and she was able to cross the bridge in peace at home, in her bed, in her sleep. We should all be that lucky when the time comes don't you think? We send thought and purrs to you for giving her a great year with a family. little angel


Princess Forever
Purred: Mon Jul 11, '11 1:22pm PST 
Lola was lucky to have found you who gave her a good year before she went on.....She went peacefully to the Bridge.....You are a sweet person to have taken care of her until her time....She is looking from the Bridge and thanking you for her time....

Squeakers- *8/1994 - 7/5/2011*

*Forever Loved- and Sorely- Missed*
Purred: Mon Jul 11, '11 6:24pm PST 
*Hugs* to you for caring for Lola at that stage in her life. So many cats are abandoned or discarded or viewed as being unworthy of adoption just because of advanced age or medical issues. You saw right past all of that and simply saw the loving and beautiful cat she really was, and just like any cat despite age or illness, you realized she was worthy of receiving love and being placed in a happy home. You were a wonderful mama to her and she knew that! There are not many people (even devout animal lovers) who could be as unselfish as you were in allowing an elderly cat with "issues" into their hearts and homes knowing how limited their time here might be. Thank you for doing all you did for her. What a gift you gave her!

As far as the guilt you felt for "leaving her" when she passed away, you should know there is no reason for you to feel guilty, although I do understand where it comes from. In 2005 my elderly cat Papa passed away in my basement completely unexpectedly. He seemed completely happy and healthy up until that point. In the morning he crawled up on the couch with me and stayed with me a while, purring and shoving his furry butt in my face just as he did every day. Then he ate and went downstairs. By the time I found him hours later, he had passed away and was found curled up next to a large stuffed animal tiger. I felt guilty that I didnt know he was sick and I wished I could have been with him in his final moments. I felt as if I somehow abandoned him, even though logically I knew I hadn't.

In 2009 my poor precious Eloise disappeared without a trace. She never ventured far and was rarely gone for more than an hour at a time and always came home whenever I called for her. I stayed up all night every night waiting for her to appear at my back door or front window and looked everywhere for her for weeks at all times of the day, put flyers with her pictures all around the neighborhood and in neighbors doors and in vet offices and store windows. I put ads up on craigslist and petfinder and a few other websites every other day. I was desperate to find her and it absolutely tormented me to no end those first couple weeks knowing she could possibly still be alive but was in trouble and needed my help. I felt helpless and was full of anxiety every day. Needless to say I was consumed with guilt (and still am) for allowing her to become an outdoor cat despite my desire to keep her indoors (she escaped accidentally a few times and simply did not want to be contained..i tried mesh cat tents and a lead attached to the tree without any success)and guilty for feeling like I hadnt done enough to find her even though I did everything I could think of to bring her home.

Last year my bunny became sick overnight and I rushed him to the vet in the morning when I found him. He was an elderly rabbit and I felt in my heart it was the end for him and wanted to have him humanely euthanized so I could be with him because I knew just by looking at him he wasnt going to pull through. The vet wanted to run some tests first and said she'd call me to come back if she felt there was nothing left to do for him. He passed away on his own when I wasnt there. I felt guilty for not trusting my gut instincts not being there for yet another pet when their time came.

Fast forward to last week, my poor Squeakers crossed the rainbow bridge. He was almost 17 and his health was slowly deteriorating although overall he still seemed pretty healthy. I went away for nearly 2 weeks and the day I came home my mother told me he wasnt looking good. I found him in horrible shape and had to rush him to the emergency vet. Unlike all of my other pets who recently passed away, this time I made the decision to humanely let him cross the rainbow bridge. I got my "wish" of being able to be there for my pet in their final moments and although I'm glad I was with him until the end, I still feel guilty. Guilty for making that decision for him (I never had to do that before) and wondering if it was really the right choice for him. Guilty for leaving him for 2 weeks and finding him when it was too late to save him. Guilty for not knowing how long he was suffering or thinking about him wondering where I was to help him. Guilty for crying too much and worrying that I stressed or upset him any more than he already was. Guilty for having his final moments be in a vet clinic (he HATED the vet) and wishing it could have been a "scheduled" home euthanasia, but there simply wasnt any time to plan for that.

My point is, as loving pet parents, we take the responsibility of ownership very seriously and are never prepared and are rarely accepting (at least initially) of any type of onset of disease or especially of their passing. No matter the circumstances, we're most likely always going to feel guilty or like we didn't do quite enough for our babies if they become ill or pass away in one way or another. We feel helpless when something bad happens to them and it's only natural to want to place the blame on something, and more often than not we tend to find fault in something we either did or didn't do. A CATSTER member (Miss Mittens mama..hope she doesn't mind me sharing some of what she said in an email regarding Squeakers)said something which was comforting to me and maybe it will comfort you too "No matter what we did or didn't do, it can cause feelings of guilt. Sometimes we think we didn't do enough and at other times, we feel guilty about things we did do and now wish we hadn't. We all do the best we can at the time. If it's done in love, it's not wrong. "

You aren't alone in feeling guilty, but just know that you didn't do wrong by Lola. She chose when it was her time to go, just as most animals will do (they seem to usually prefer to be alone in their final moments which is painful for us, but it is their choice)You gave her more love and care than she would have gotten any where else, I'm sure of that. Her final year right up until the very end was happy and fulfulling just by the love and warm nurturing environment you provided for her.

In the end when all is said and done, our pets know/knew how deep our love for them ran and the bond we had with them can never be broken. Our babies are at peace now and I have no doubt are in a much better place rainbow hug


Purred: Tue Jul 12, '11 4:32am PST 
Thank you everyone, thank you Squeakers. So nice to hear everyone's experiences, though sad. I still feel guilty, I can't help but think I let her down somehow. In the end, she had so many handicaps, blind, deaf, seizures, terrible arthritis, and then all her major medical problems, chronic renal failure, hyperthyroidism. She was incontinent at times as well. BUT, she ALWAYS seemed happy to see me or snuggle with me. Purring the whole time. I really struggled with the decision on whether to euthanize her or not, it was a tough one. Matt and I talked about it daily. He said leave her be, she seems happy to be in her bed and happy when we snuggle her. And her appetite...OH BOY!!! She NEVER missed a meal, even on her last day. She was so patient with everything, tolerated her sub-Q fluids really well, and tolerated the dogs sniffing her whenever they walked by, she even seemed to like the dogs!! I miss my little Loley-Banana, I can't believe she is not here anymore.

We used to say she was "holding court" in the livingroom, because that's where her bed was, right in the center of it all, so she could feel important, and she took her job seriously!!! She layed in her bed all the time, and even though deaf and blind, seemed to know what was going on at all times. In the evenings when we were in the livingroom watching TV, if she started to get up, we would both rush over to help her walk over to her water or her box, she was that arthritic. My word, the tears are flowing now with these memories!!!

By the way, there is another geriatric black and white kitty at the shelter, filthy, terrible hair loss, no teeth (not even one tooth!), seems to have vision impairment, and very emaciated. She was found locked in a fenced-in backyard and couldn't get out because she couldn't climb the fence, too arthritic in her back legs. She was found and brought to the shelter almost one year to the day Lola got to the shelter last year and only about 3-4 days after Lola passed away. Maybe Lola sent her to me? Anyway, she is going to the Vet this week to see what is going on, and perhaps she will come home with us. She eats everything you give her and is so purry and cuddly, poor baby girl. All the volunteers at the shelter have tried to clean her up, and we have flea treated her since she had so many fleas. I would be shocked if she didn't have some kidney trouble as she drinks tons of water. I have a feeling the Vet will want to put her down as she looks terrible and is a sad case, but if not, maybe we will have another geriatric kitty to love!!! I am hoping for the best for her...

Natalie the- Natcat,- Forever

Show some- respect,- youngster!
Purred: Tue Jul 12, '11 1:20pm PST 
Dear Lolas mom,

In October, Bella was very sick. Mommy asked the Heavens to help Bella, and said if Bella made it ok that she would do something else to help.
Well, Bella pulled through. And that weekend mommy and daddy went to bring a cake they were donating to a benefit to the rescue I was at.
When Daddy knelt down beside me, and opened my cage, I crawled into his lap. When it came time to put me back, I became very depressed again...I was an older cat, with 'health problems'. If I had been at the local city shelter....shudder...this would not be being written.
But Mommy and Daddy spoke with the Rescue's founder...and the next day I came home to Mommy and Daddy.
Mommy swears I've done a 360. Daddy believes I was sent as if by messenger from 'above', in return for a promise.
While Bella and I don't seem to care for each other, I will always be grateful that an intervention that was divine on her behalf, bought me home.
I'm hoping your little new needy rescue will come home with you. I think that indeed, Lola sent her.

With much love and POTP,
Natalie the Natcat

SKIDS KITTY- gone, never- forgot

lil human on 4- legs
Purred: Tue Jul 12, '11 10:00pm PST 
oh my mom cried as she read your story too. When we hear of stories like Lola's it is with much gratitude for the most loving and caring pawrents/humans that are willing to give us the love that we have been missing. All kitties like us ever wanted was to be loved and you did that for Lola. Mom wanted me to pass away at home when she knew there was no more she could do but it didn't happen that way. I too think Lola went to sleep here and work up in kitty heaven where you will see here again one day. Big hug hug

Baltster- 1990 ~ 2011

Winks, to the- ladies, Iz still- got it
Purred: Wed Jul 13, '11 2:38pm PST 
There is no way you let her down. She was so lucky to have found you, living a year with such love and devotion. To pass asleep in ones bed curled up warm, comfortable and after having a lovely breakfast. I think is a pawsome way to go if not the best. She was lucky. It would have been a routine she was used to and being asleep, would not have noticed your absence. It's really nice you have a page for her. She will live on in your heart and many others.

  (Page 2 of 2: Viewing entries 11 to 17)  
1  2