 Purred: Fri Feb 25, '11 2:39pm PST |
 | |  | | I am SO sorry that you lost your kitten - it's a particular shame that he was so young, but I'm sure you have many good memories, and you will have to force yourself to think of him that way. The circumstances are terrible and devastating for anyone, but with your history, you will need to give yourself a break, and constantly push calming thoughts into your mind. You can do this! We take a risk whenever we love, that it won't last as long as we want it to and that special entity will disappear one day. Your worst fear has happened, but you can't change anything about it. It will take time for you to get over it, but you can't focus on the end part or it will just continue to tear you up. Remember that you saved this little one's life, and you gave him 5 months of happiness & the assurance that he was loved & lovable. That counts for a lot! Whether the life you provide is 5 months, or 15 years, it all counts. You made a difference in the world. You have the opportunity to do it again - to save another animal's life - when you are ready. You would not want to be the kind of person who won't take the risk of loving. That would be a waste of your beautiful spirit, who loved this little creature SO MUCH that his loss devastated her. Keep reading the different postings in this forum - there is so much good advice. I hold my baby closer every time someone loses theirs, so it is not for nothing. And someday soon you will hold your next kitten closer because of what you've been through. You will learn more and be better for it. You have come to the right place, because we who are here right now know that it will be our turn someday. I had the same problems that you do now(depression, panic attacks) when my last kitty died in a fire. This is why I joined Catster. I knew I would need support from other catlovers when I lose the next one, because I couldn't find anyone to take it that seriously out in the world. I would also suggest that you participate in animal related causes in the name of your darling kitty or volunteer a few hours a week at your local shelter. You will find others who are sympathetic to your situation. Continue to put down your thoughts here, and maybe start a catster diary for your little angel, speaking thru his voice of what kittyheaven is like and what he would want to see for your life. I cried over your story, and I guarantee you others did too, it is so horribly unfair, and I so wish it all made sense, but it doesn't. Be kind to yourself. Part of that will be to push those condemning thoughts from the very end out of your mind, and focus on the happy stuff. Luv, Tink  |  |  | |  |
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