Never Thought This would be so hard

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Sterling- Mithril

Jaws-I\'ll eat- anything!

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 5:35pm PST


	Mom has been fostering 5 gray 14 day old kitties for the local county shelter for the last month. Today she took them back to the county shelter because they are old enough to get adopted, but she feels like she totally let them down. Mom and Dad are moving and have put the house up for sale, and we are already are a family of 5 cats, and mom had the foster kitties in a separate room (it was kitty paradise for them). But mom can't keep them while the house is up for selling. Mom was the only one who cared about them, and now she feels she has abandoned them to their death, because this is a "kill" shelter. She is terrified that they will get stressed and sick and be put down before they get adopted. Mom can't figure out a good solution for this situation - she only wanted to save them (they were orphans when they came into the shelter) so that they could survive to be adopted. This has been a terrible foster experience for her and she is heart broken. She has cried all day and feels responsible for their little souls. What could she have done differently? She called other cat rescue groups to see if they could take them but one said no and the other never called back. She tried friends and gave flyers to people at work, but no one was interested. Mom swears she will never set foot in a shelter again and will not volunteer anymore because this has broken her heart. She got very attached to them, they all use their litter box and have been so good. The adoption prices at the shelter are only $25 now..she feels like adopting them all, and then trying to find homes for them herself, but we are in the middle of trying to sell our house and move. Why did this have to turn out this way? Mom is very upset with herself for letting these little tykes down. Does anyone have any advice to offer or ideas? What should Mom have done differently?

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Taz

watch your- fingers, i'm- eating

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 7:27pm PST


	Oh Sterling, please tell your mommy that she is WONDERFUL for fostering these babies and giving them the best start in life that they could ever hope for. It must be so hard to give them up knowing that they are going back to a kill shelter, I can't imagine what you must be going through though I can tell how distressed you are from the post. Can your mommy ask the shelter to at least give her some notice if they cannot adopt your foster siblings out and are planning on putting them down? Have you tried Craigslist? Do you have any no-kill shelters in your area, maybe you could try just bringing them in there, it will probably be harder to turn them down if they are right there in front of them? I really can't imagine how difficult it must be to be going through the stress of trying to sell a home & worrying about all the kitties at the same time. Taz and our family really don't know how to help but wanted you to know that we admire your mommy for what she has done. Please don't feel discouraged, you have clearly done your best for these little ones no matter what happens you can't blame yourself.

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Athena (In- Memory)

Purrs and Love- to Mom and- Toulouse

moderator

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 7:28pm PST


	Since I've never fostered because it would break my heart to "let my fosterlings go", I'm probably not one to give advice, but maybe your Mom should go with her "gut feeling", go back to the shelter, pay the $25 (maybe they would give you a reduction price since you fostered them) and continue to try to find a no-kill shelter that will take them. Our (no-kill) shelter will take fostered kittens on the weekends when they go on mobile adoptions to PetSmart and Petco and if they're not adopted they go back to their foster homes until the next mobile adoption. I undertstand your impossible situation with moving and already having a large cat family, but the kittens' situation at the kill shelter is tearing you apart. When I adopted Athena and Apollo, they had their brother and sister with them. At the time I thought 4 cats would be too much, and although my thoughts are that they both found great forever homes, I am sorry that I didn't take the other brother and sister, too. Edited by author Thu Oct 22, '09 7:32pm PST

Taz

watch your- fingers, i'm- eating

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 7:55pm PST


	I know how you feel Athena, when I adopted Taz she was in the same cage as two other little girls, all believed to be from the same litter because they were dropped off together. I was in college at the time, living in a tiny studio apartment but for a few moments I seriously considering taking all three (I knew there was no way I could leave just one behind by itself!), but in the end I decided it probably wasn't the responsible thing to do because of the tiny apartment and being a broke student. I later found out the shelter was one of the highest kill shelters in the state and that her sisters were likely killed within 24 hours, and Taz would have been too if I hadn't gone the day I did. I still think about that seven years later and regret not getting all three of them...

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Sterling- Mithril

Jaws-I\'ll eat- anything!

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 8:02pm PST


	Taz, thank you for your kind, comforting support. Mom's goal was to make sure all 5 got a forever home, and that is why she is so upset and feels like a failure. These were bottle babies, and Mom has watched them grow, and their little personalities start to shine...they all survived and stayed healthy (which mom was concerned about), and they all used their little box without hardly ANY training at all. They just jumped right in and started using it! It was amazing! And you are right, Athena, mom's gut feeling IS to go and adopt them, but with the house up for sale and not knowing how long it would take to adopt them out (Dad says that the shelter is the best place right now for them, because people will see them, and they are at their cutest kitten stage right now, Dad said if we take them back, and they don't get adopted soon, then they will be growing and it will be harder to get them adopted when they are older as opposed to right now). So mom is torn in two. She doesn't want 10 cats, especially if we have to move them all, she just wants to know that these little tykes are going to make it to a loving home. So please purray that they get adopted. Mom may sneak down to the shelter this weekend to see if they are up for adoption and if they are doing OK, but that is risky, cause mom definitely will want to adopt them.

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Athena (In- Memory)

Purrs and Love- to Mom and- Toulouse

moderator

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 8:17pm PST


	We're purring for the little kittens ... Purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, Purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, Purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, Purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, Purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, purring, Purrs and Love, Athena, Apollo and Aragorn

Sterling- Mithril

Jaws-I\'ll eat- anything!

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 8:54pm PST


	Athena, Apollo, and Aragorn - you kitties are the best! You put a smile on Mom's face and made her feel so better, and that was difficult to do today! Thank you for all your purrs! Mom is so glad your family is there for these little gray kitties! Mom couldn't get through this without your support.

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Sterling- Mithril

Jaws-I\'ll eat- anything!

Purred: Thu Oct 22, '09 9:02pm PST


	Taz, I am sorry to hear about your experience with the kill shelter and having regets about not adopting the other little girl kitties. It is so difficult to know what is going to happen, and we all want to do the right thing, and I know it is hard to live with what we feel are mistakes or missed opportunities. That is why it so difficult for Mom, she doesn't want to make a mistake that she will regret for the rest of her life, yet doesn't have all the answers or solutions to this problem, too. And mom is learning that hindsight is 20/20. But she isn't ruling out going back to adopt these kitties, because that is her gut feeling, and her conscience is really bothering her.

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Teyah

Adopt a shelter- kitty!

Purred: Fri Oct 23, '09 4:42am PST


	HUGE hug to Sterling and Mom! MY foster Mom also knows very much what you are going through and knows exactly how hard it is. Her previous foster, Celeste, gave birth to 7 kittens. 2 were stillborn and 1 died the next day. She and foster Dad had to completely assist with the birth, cutting umbilical cords, everything because Celeste had no idea what to do. The remaining 4 kittens were nice and healthy and grew up beautifully. Foster Mom was able to find homes for 2 of the kittens, but the other 2, along with Celeste just couldn't find forever homes no matter how hard Mom tried. She was renting from a terrible place at the time and the landlord put the building up for sale, so she was also in a position where she was in a rush to find homes for the fosters. She had to take Celeste and 2 of her kittens back to the shelter and it BROKE her heart, however, what she did was paid all of their adoption/spay/neuter fees so that potential adopters wouldn't have to do so, which of course made them much more appealing. Needless to say, they all found loving, forever homes! So that might be a way for your Mom to help? To sponsor their adoption fees? Your Dad IS right, they will get a lot of exposure to be seen at the shelter and are at a very cute stage, but we COMPLETELY understand you wanting to care for them until they go to their forever homes. It's just a hard situation all the way around. P.S. - Although foster Mom's heart WAS broken by the previous foster situation, she is now living in a MUCH better, bigger place, and she along with foster Dad, KNEW they had to foster again because it gave them so much joy knowing they can help in some way. This was how I came along, and soon I will have my own kittens for them to care for. As hard as it is sometimes ANY help is better than no help at all. Please give your Mom headbutts for us and let her know how wonderful we think she is. Edited by author Fri Oct 23, '09 4:44am PST

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QUINCY

I've never met a- kitten I didn't- like

Purred: Fri Oct 23, '09 9:10am PST


	We foster for a local no-kill cat shelter and am not sure we could do it if it was for a kill shelter. We give your Mama all the credit in the world and we can understand why this is so hard for her. But at least she gave the little ones a chance. Without her or someone else to step up, those babies most certainly would have been PTS in the beginning. Not many volunteers have the time or the energy to take on bottle babies. Does your Mama know anything about the adoption rate at the shelter or the rate at which the shelter euthanizes?? Did she ask if kittens are more or less likely to be PTS than cats who have been there longer. Not that any cats deserves such a fate. I can't imagine the shelter putting them down after giving them a chance when they were so little. I agree with what the other poster said about maybe sponsoring their adoption fees if the shelter will let you. Also, see if they will notify you (if you want to know) if they are in danger of being PTS. Maybe you will be moved and in a better place by then. Again, you have our admiration for helping those little ones, and we will be purring that they find good forever homes soon.

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