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Coming to terms with (possibly) dying......

  
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Tambolina

No...the magic- is still- here...!!!
 
 
Purred: Sat Mar 6, '10 6:04am PST 
This is a people thread.....or a person thread....or a me (Janet) thread........

All my pussycats are sitting round looking at me with totally loopy expressions on their faces.....wwwwaaahhhhhh!! they are saying.....! What are you talking about....?????

I have to get my hospital results on Monday.......I am to die...I am not to die (yet).....don't know........

I think I have come to terms with the possibility of dying....indeed I am quite looking forward to it....!!! but I will probably feel different tomorrow......don't know..!!

I have lump in my neck (for those who do not know the ongoing saga)....

I'll let you know what happens........

ps. Should one 'rage, rage against the dying of the light' OR 'go softly (or gently (not sure what it is)) into the dark night'......

(Dylan Thomas.......can't remember the proper words).......

Jan
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Pete- Fountain

So happy to have- a safe and- loving home!
 
 
Purred: Sat Mar 6, '10 8:41am PST 
Jan.......you must remain positive about the results. Even if the results says the lump if cancer, it can be removed and treatment done. You know that you are in my daily prayers and thoughts. Stay positive and do not make yourself ill worrying about this test........lots of people and pussycats care about you.

Please let us know ASAP when you get the results on Monday.

Purrs, Hugs and Prayers,
The New Orleans Kitties and Meowmy Faye
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Boris

I'm cute and I- know how to use- that :)
 
 
Purred: Sat Mar 6, '10 12:02pm PST 
What Faye said. Cancer is no longer a death sentence in most cases, more of a long term chronic illness.

Also they haven't ruled out yet that it's a benign growth. I had one, and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't freak out when the Otolaryngologist said "there is a possibility it could be cancer". The week's wait to find out was one of the worst in my whole life, made worse by the fact that I refused to think positively about it.

Good luck, and if I were you I would find some pursuit you can involve yourself in that allows you to think of nothing else until Monday, if thinking positive just isn't in the cards.
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kaya skye

not fighting my- demons-we joined- forces
 
 
Purred: Sat Mar 6, '10 7:34pm PST 
what boris said. just don't distract yourself by grooming tambolina...i'm not sure she'd forgive you twice.wink
seriously, my father was older than you when he was diagnosed with colon cancer. he had major surgery, chemo and some pretty evil radiation. that was years ago, and he's had no trouble since. best advice i can give is you should take someone with you. if you get good news, you can go out to celebrate. if you get bad news, not only shouldn't you be alone, but someone else should be there to write stuff down, ask questions and remember things. people sort of stop hearing and thinking when they hear cancer. the doctor says "cancer", but they hear "death".
hint: they're not the same word.
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Harvey

Has been COTD!
 
 
Purred: Sat Mar 6, '10 8:36pm PST 
The poem goes:

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Jan, we always here for you at Fake Cats. I have had numerous cancer scares that involved waiting for test results (colon, breast, etc.). The waiting part is the worst. Once you have a diagnosis, you will able to deal with it. I'm almost sure that you don't have anything to worry about--and I'm speaking from my own experience. For one thing, you're not elderly. My mother died at 80 from lung cancer. Her body just gave out.

You have a lot of problems now--cat deaths, Brian's illness....

As I wrote above, the worst thing is not knowing the test results. As other posters have said, IF your tumor is malignant, cancer is now thought to be a chronic disease rather than a death sentence, and you have every chance to be a cancer survivor (IF you have cancer). My mother died from lung cancer simply because she was too old to have the problematic lung removed. You are still far younger. You have to be there for Brian and your cats. Giving massive purrs your way.
hug
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Miss Puff

carma works,- wish I never- chaced Meow
 
 
Purred: Sat Mar 6, '10 9:34pm PST 
Hi Jan, wave
I agree, please do not give into thinking the worse. I was told I had a softball sized mass attached to my left ovary. Now I had to have tests done and was referred to an oncologist. My Obgyn was sure she could not handle things if it was cancer. Well I decided to let them take everything out... The mass was actually the size of a large Grapefruit. eek
Turns out it was just a cyst as I expected. I never had the feeling that is was anything else. It all came out and I have healed very well. The only thing that concerned me was if the surgery would bring on an attack of my M.S. It did not smile So please stay positive as much as you can and absolutely take someone with you on Monday. Listen to your body, what is it telling you?
Please keep all of us informed. Best of luck,
Dawn
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Harvey

Has been COTD!
 
 
Purred: Sat Mar 6, '10 9:42pm PST 
And now, to go totally OT--Dylan Thomas was known for his performances reciting his poems. These readings are available on the Internet. "Poem" and "Song" have always shared the same word in Japanese--uta. There is nothing better than hearing poems recited by their authors. It's a simple thing to find by Google--I found Dylan Thomas's reading of his own poems in about 30 seconds. I can also recommend recordings by Syphia Plath and Anne Sexton. No, their poems are not cheerful. But hearing poets read their poems the way they meant them to be read is invaluable. While you're waiting for your test results, you might try listening to various poets, if Brian will let you. It may make you cry. But it will also divert you from worrying about your test results. Purrs, purrs...

Edited by author Sat Mar 6, '10 9:48pm PST

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Delyte, Dark- Angel, at- Bridge

Me and my- person, together- against all
 
 
Purred: Sun Mar 7, '10 5:55pm PST 
This is Delyte and the Grays and their person. We are all purring so hard for Jan tomorrow [or I guess it is today there already.] No matter what they say, there are so many kinds of treatments available, and it does not have to be the end for a long, long time.

Cats hide their pain and discomfort for so long, that when they are finally discovered the disease can be quite advanced so we are so used to hearing about cats getting ill and going off so quickly. With people it is so much different, and there are so many things they can do and they can explain what is going on to them. We hope that you get a good doctor who treats you right and explains everything to you, and if you don't, make them tell you again. There is a series of commercials here in the US where people say that doctors just tell them terrible diagnoses and walk away; we hope that nothing like that happens to anyone we know, ever. So we have all paws and fingers crossed for you, sweet Janet. We are hoping to be hearing from you for a long time yet to come. Giant purrs! wave
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Harvey

Has been COTD!
 
 
Purred: Sun Mar 7, '10 8:21pm PST 
I don't live in the U.K., but I know they have superb doctors and am pretty sure that you have health coverage not available in the U.S. I visited the U.K. in 1984, got sick, and was treated for free. Japanese health care is not free, but everyone gets the same coverage, and it's cheaper than in the States. (Hint, hint, Mr. Obama.) Get a second opinion if your doctor turns out not to have a good bedside manner. I am a hypochondriac and a former pre-med student who has various serious health problems. (Believe me, a surgeon will not give you hip surgery if your hips are not crumbling to pieces.) I have probably seen hundreds of doctors in my lifetime. Always write a list of questions before you go. Doctors like to make fun of these lists, but a well-organized patient is going to get better information than an unprepared one. I always go to the doctor alone, but many people find that having someone with them is both emotionally comforting and helps them remember details about the visit. Please tell us what your diagnosis is, and we'll go on from there.
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Delyte, Dark- Angel, at- Bridge

Me and my- person, together- against all
 
 
Purred: Mon Mar 8, '10 10:51am PST 
This is Delyte and the Grays and their person. Any news? Purrs!
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