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If something happens to them just replace them

  
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Emma- Ferguson

Crack Kitty
 
 
Purred: Thu Mar 12, '09 6:22pm PST 
shock "If something happens to them just replace them"

This is what I heard from my mother-in-law when she found out my husband and I adopted a new kitten.

just some background info.... my current baby Emma who is almost 3 years old i have kept as an indoor cat. she gets to go out side on a harness and leash. before her i have had almost 20 cats in my 23 years of life and out of those cats about 4 of them weren't hit by cars or eaten by coyotes. with emma we lived in reno out of the city and we kept her inside and when we moved to new zealand she didn't like the grass and misses the dirt. so she stayes inside.

so when we got this new kitten my mother-in-law starts to tell me how this is a new zealand cat and new zealand cats go out side. then proceeded to tell me if anything happens to her like she gets hit by a car i just replace her with another cat and so on. cause that's what you do.

one reason why i don't want my cats rooming the neighborhood is i dont know what native birds are endangered and i dont want her killing them. and we live on a bizzy street so i dont want her to get run over.... i just dont know how someone could say something like that. and not even care about her local ecology.
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Simon

Always in my- memory
 
 
Purred: Thu Mar 12, '09 6:46pm PST 
Your mother-in-law probably has never been owned by a cat. I have been owned by quite a few. While each and every one of them is/was special in their own way, there have been some who were simply the best! In fact, one of mine went to Rainbow Bridge early this week...Simon. He was one of my barn cats..but he was the most special one. He was my 'outdoor' baby. cry
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Lola

Proud mother of- the Fab Four!
 
 
Purred: Thu Mar 12, '09 7:32pm PST 
Aw, poor Simon! And I'm astounded to hear how many cats Emma has lost. It's a difficult subject. I started keeping my cats indoors (we live in Tokyo) after cat number one disappeared one night. I assume she was hit by a car, but she could have been catnapped by some sadist. I don't even want to think about it. I was living with someone then, and sometimes grief brings you closer, sometimes it makes you break off the relationship. We ended up breaking off the relationship. Since then, all my cats have been indoor cats. Keeping a cat indoors is the best way to prolong your cat's life. Having said that..."just replace them"? Every cat is unique, every cat is special. You can't replace that special someone with another cat. But...and this is going to sound cold...life is short, cats are wonderful, I would like to have 200 cats in my lifetime, and when one of my cats goes to the great beyond, I find another special one and feel blessed. So many cats, so little time. Being able to grieve is an important skill. Being able to accept another kitty life is a blessing. But you already know that.
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Emma- Ferguson

Crack Kitty
 
 
Purred: Thu Mar 12, '09 9:48pm PST 
I think you are right about one thing, I don't think she has never been owned by a cat, i think she has just owned cats... 4 of them to be more precise. Its just so sad.... they are our family, every one of them from the little white one in the beginning all the way to the last one. they deserve all the respect and love that any living being deserves. i kinda think the Egyptians were cool how they mourned there cats.
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Simon

Always in my- memory
 
 
Purred: Fri Mar 13, '09 4:52am PST 
I agree with you on that, Emma! And Harvey..yes, each cat is special...but some more so than others. Those ones take alittle piece of our hearts with them when they leave. And while we can get another one...it doesn't fill the void.
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Izadore- (Izzie)

Always make it- look like the- dogs did it
 
 
Purred: Fri Mar 13, '09 7:34am PST 
My husband's sister thinks that animals are "filthy, little creatures". When they had beautiful, blonde Cocker Spaniel, she made her husband tie him to the car bumper in the garage when they had children even though the dog never showed any signs of aggression toward the kids.

I lost a cat on the road last August and I am still grieving. It was not my decision that he be an outdoor cat He used to bolt out the door when I let my dogs out and there was no way I could stop him. I learned that it's very true that outdoor cats have short lives.

I feel very sorry for a person who has never been loved by an animal and believes they're disposable. Your m-i-l had a child, and it's hard to believe that understanding a mother's love, she would still feel so callously about animals. It's true that you could get another kitty, but you can never "replace" the one you lost.
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Lola

Proud mother of- the Fab Four!
 
 
Purred: Fri Mar 13, '09 8:12am PST 
No, no cat can take the place of another. And we all continue to grieve for the ones we've lost--look at all the Rainbow Bridge kitties on Catster. The death of my mother (a Human, not a Cat) sent me into a depressive spiral that I am still trying to get out of. But life is mysterious and wonderful, too. There will always be a chance to meet up with a kitty who is different from the last one, but just as special. That doesn't mean euthanizing your cats because they are inconvenient, or disposing of your kittens after they have left that "cute" stage. It means that...life goes on. So many cats, so little time...shed the tears, try to deal with the grief, and try to find a way to share your love with another cat. It's not possible for some people, but it is for others.

And Izzie--Ernie's death was not your fault. It was just very, very bad luck. I lost a cat in 1985 in Tokyo--still don't know what happened to her. In that case, I WAS at fault--I let her outside (which is common in Japan) and one day she just...never came back. I'm pretty sure she met up with a traffic accident, but I learned that lesson from that one. Fortunately, none of my subsequent kitties have been bolters, so I've never had that problem. (Boku, when he was eighteen and slightly senile, did wander outside once when there was work being done on my apartment and the door was open, but he didn't get far.) RIP Ernie...
hug

Edited by author Fri Mar 13, '09 8:21am PST

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Izadore- (Izzie)

Always make it- look like the- dogs did it
 
 
Purred: Fri Mar 13, '09 4:45pm PST 
Leila, thank you so much for your comforting words regarding Ernie's death. I have tried to say so many times on Catster that Ernie was a bolter. With my bad back, there was no way I could react fast enough to grab him when he bolted out the door with the dogs. He did come when called, 98% of the time and was only gone overnight once. I try not to blame myself so much any more although for a time I was convinced there was some way I could have kept him inside and out of danger. But I do miss him so much even now. Luckily, I think Lily is Ernie reincarnated. It's true that you can't replace a much loved kitty, but when you see his/her characteristics in another one, it does make some of the pain easier to bear.

Thanks again for your very kind words. way to go
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Buddy Bolden

Happy Cat
 
 
Purred: Fri Mar 13, '09 5:49pm PST 
How sad, that your mother-in-law thinks your can just "replace" a kitty when something happens to them. In August, 2005, our mewomy lost four kitties at once when Hurricane Katrina came through New Orleans. She did not know she would never return home....... She says that the thing that she missed the most was kitties, but in May, 2006 we adopted her. And as you can see from our pages, other kitties joined our family. None of use are "replacements", but cats with our own personalities and funny ways that make meowmy love us. She says we have healed the hurt of all she lost in Hurricane Katrina.

Of course, the caring kitties and their humans here on CATSTER have helped a great deal. They can understand (and must not foget the woofers and their humans on DOGSTER) how it hurts to loose a pet, whether by accident, illness, old age, etc.
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Delyte, Dark- Angel, at- Bridge

Me and my- person, together- against all
 
 
Purred: Fri Mar 13, '09 9:35pm PST 
This is Delyte. We are dealing with two different friends who have lost their beloved pets just recently, and there is no way they would ever think to "just get another one."

I know that a lot of people think that cats HAVE to go outside, but no matter where you live it is just far too dangerous. When our person visited London a few years ago, the people who lived there in downtown London where it is all concrete still let their cat out every night. The traffic was everywhere! And they have foxes too that come out at night. Here we have coyotes and cars and owls and stray dogs. It is just too dangerous. I got out for six days once and I was too paralyzed with terror to try to come back for all that time. I still don't like to think about it too much and our person would be horrified to think of the dangers I saw.

I know that you can't tell your mother-in-law off, but don't let her talk about this again or you will get too upset. What does she think about Catster, does she know you are on here? This is not a place where people think there are replacable pets! Giant purrs to you from all of us! wave
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