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Mommy won't use the litter box!

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Tubby tabby- love!

Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 4:07am PST


	We're worried about our Mommy. All of us were really good about being toilet trained and the only one who's ever made a boo-boo is Harvey, who's sort of stupid that way. Anyway, we didn't even object when Mommy switched us from tofu-based litter to cedar-smelling litter (less scattering, she says). But recently, we've been observing her, and discovered that SHE DOESN'T USE THE LITTER BOX! She sits on this cold smooth thing that looks like a chair but has a hole with water inside. When she finishes using it she pushes something and it makes a big noise that makes us all run out of the bathroom (we're usually there watching her). Usually she keeps the lid shut, but sometimes she forgets. Chibi tried drinking the water once and said it tasted pukey. Is there any way to train Mommy to use the litter box? We haven't caught her doing anything naughty on the floor or the sofa, but suspect it may just be a matter of time. Is it too late to toilet train Mommy? Edited by author Thu Aug 14, '08 4:10am PST

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I'm cute and I- know how to use- that :)

Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 8:30am PST


	Dear Spot, mom says that this thing you mention is a human litter box, so your meomwy is litter trained, but she just happens to use water based litter. I don't know if we buy it around here. Gracie has certainly been on the case, getting up on top of the porcelain vase while mom is still on it and trying to peer down, but she says she can't really tell if mom can pee or poo. The pee doesn't quite look right, and the poo just floats. Floats. What kind of a weird system is that? Clearly Gracie is making stuff up to make me feel better about meowmy. I wonder how long humans can go without pooing or peeing, and I worry for her.

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I'm the baby,- gotta love me!

Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 8:37am PST


	Don't listen to Boris. He's such a skeptic. She so does pee and poo. I think it looks different because she doesn't hold it in until she can no longer wait to go. It definitely smells funny, kind of like when we pee and poo. I wonder where the stuff goes though. When she pulls this weird thing, it makes water come down for the top and the stuff that's in the bowl disappear. Magic! I love to watch stuff swirl down, and then I meow at meowmy to ask her where it went. I wonder if it's like the stuff we leave in the litter: meowmy picks it up twice a day and puts it in this thing called "garbage bag". Does that mean there's a being much bigger than meowmy at the other end of the bowl who collects her waste? I think so. I think I'm going to start flushing my toys down there, so that if there is a huge creature on the other side, it might realize my toys are not waste, and might come visit to bring them back. But first I have to figure out this opposable thumb stuff, it will make that task much easier.

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not fighting my- demons-we joined- forces

Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 12:35pm PST


	i fell in the human litter pool when i was smaller than you, gracie...and it is a pool. a very very cold pool. i was on the case, just like a lot of you kitties, trying to figure why she was sitting there with some of her fake fur pulled off...creepy, but i've sort of gotten used to that. but i was little. and i'd losted my collar so i guess she didn't hear me or see me come in...i was tiny, and without bells i'm ninja kitty. so she left the room of water after she made the pool give its gifts to whatever monster feeds on human pee and poo...don't give it offerings, gracie...you don't want it to learn your scent...i think it might eat kittens... cause next thing i knew there was NO LIGHT AT ALL. orange ninja kitty can see in very little light...but not in no light! made giant jump for mommy...and landed in litter pool!cold! dark! slippery and nowhere to stand! smells funny! closed in! no light! and i could hear this chuckling sound, it was the human litter monster, waiting for me to slip and come to him...dying, mommy, dying! SHE HEARD ME! (found out i'd actually done that thing called 'meowing' that i've been doing a bit more of lately...'cept it was closer to yowling, so they thought it was churrah-didn't think something as small as i was then could make that much noise) mommy turned on the light! when i could see, everything was much more okay. could see where to put my paws to escape the litter pool...and the human litter monster. so i flew to mommy! meowed a big meow (remembered that one) and flew about four feet and plastered myself to mommy's leg. (SAFE ) mommy was like: "awwww, poor kitty..." then she was like: "ewww, icky wet kitty..." and got a towel to wrap me in. (why icky? her litter pool? why was I suddenly icky?) by the time she got to the den and told everyone else she was going back and forth between "poor baby" and "trying not to laugh here...really trying" cats & kittens...the human litter monster is real. do not toy with him-and gracie, do not give him toys. you do NOT want him to visit.

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Tubby tabby- love!

Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 1:09pm PST


	I've heard that there are thousands of live kittens (those silly ones who sacrificed themselves to the porcelain god when the water was still swirling) who are swimming around in the sewers of NYC--is that true? We all know about the alligators...

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I'm the baby,- gotta love me!

Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 2:04pm PST


	I'm pretty smart, Kaya. I know to jump off it when mom gets off the porcelain. Then I just put my front paws on it and stretch my head to see down. Mom says it's pretty funny to see. See if I had thumbs then I could just use one of my forepaws to toss the toy in there. I actually don't care that the monster might learn my scent. I'm a pretty tough kitten (this morning mom tried to brush both of our sets of teeth. Boris took it he said it was good and tasted like chicken, but I don't trust mom anymore, so I clawed her human paw off). And maybe if I go live where the monster lives there will be no vet and no pills there.

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Has been COTD!

Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 4:22pm PST


	...Just LOTS of little kittens just like you swimming around in the sewers, serving the sewage God! Beward, beware!

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I'm the baby,- gotta love me!

Purred: Fri Aug 15, '08 12:03am PST


	Confirmed: meowmys poo on that thing called toilet. Tonight I hung at the edge of the toilet as usual, and saw a poo stain near mommy's hind quarters. I got closer to it to sniff it so I could be sure. Pee-eww! Meomwy's cat food must not be as nutritious as ours. Anyway, meowmy shoed me very quickly. Then she made the stain go away using toilet paper. It must be magic too. I wonder, if I could use TP to wipe my own hind quarters, maybe Boris would stop grooming me back there? He goes on and on (such a neat freak) and it gets annoying. I think I'm gonna try it out... rolls TP down wow, this is fun. What's that? Wiping? Nah, this stuff is too good to use on my butt. It's much nicer to claw at it.

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Proud mother of- the Gang of- Four!

Purred: Fri Aug 15, '08 2:00am PST


	Sometimes Mommy does something called "reading books" when she is on her porcelain throne. Can you think of anything more idiotic? What self-respecting cat would do anything while in the litter box but do his duty, dig to China, and jump out, flicking off particles of litter that have attached themselves to his feet? Mommy's strange...

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Proud mother of- the Fab Four!

Purred: Fri Aug 15, '08 6:09pm PST


	Mommy told us that some Human toilets in Japan, mostly in public places like train stations, are just porcelain-lined holes in the floor, so people don't sit down to do their thing, but squat. Now, if only we could train her to do that over that cedar-smelling stuff that she forces us to use...

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