|Purred: Thu Aug 14, '08 12:35pm PST |
|i fell in the human litter pool when i was smaller than you, gracie...and it is a pool. a very very cold pool. i was on the case, just like a lot of you kitties, trying to figure why she was sitting there with some of her fake fur pulled off...creepy, but i've sort of gotten used to that. but i was little. and i'd losted my collar so i guess she didn't hear me or see me come in...i was tiny, and without bells i'm ninja kitty. so she left the room of water after she made the pool give its gifts to whatever monster feeds on human pee and poo...don't give it offerings, gracie...you don't want it to learn your scent...i think it might eat kittens...
cause next thing i knew there was NO LIGHT AT ALL. orange ninja kitty can see in very little light...but not in no light! made giant jump for mommy...and landed in litter pool!cold! dark! slippery and nowhere to stand! smells funny! closed in! no light! and i could hear this chuckling sound, it was the human litter monster, waiting for me to slip and come to him...dying, mommy, dying! SHE HEARD ME! (found out i'd actually done that thing called 'meowing' that i've been doing a bit more of lately...'cept it was closer to yowling, so they thought it was churrah-didn't think something as small as i was then could make that much noise)
mommy turned on the light! when i could see, everything was much more okay. could see where to put my paws to escape the litter pool...and the human litter monster. so i flew to mommy! meowed a big meow (remembered that one) and flew about four feet and plastered myself to mommy's leg. (SAFE )
mommy was like: "awwww, poor kitty..." then she was like: "ewww, icky wet kitty..." and got a towel to wrap me in. (why icky? her litter pool? why was I suddenly icky?) by the time she got to the den and told everyone else she was going back and forth between "poor baby" and "trying not to laugh here...really trying"
cats & kittens...the human litter monster is real. do not toy with him-and gracie, do not give him toys. you do NOT want him to visit.
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