|Purred: Tue Jan 28, '14 1:18pm PST |
|The day I got lily I was so happy and full of joy. I told a friend I want another cat. He promised me he'd get me one no matter what. As time passed, I finally got a phone call from him telling me he found a kitten. My heart was so warm, I immediately hopped in the car and drove to get her. As soon as i arrived nothing else in the world mattered to me. He came up to the car and handed me a kitten that couldn't of been older the 2 weeks, a beautiful black and white baby that had a black spot on her nose that looked like a mustache. I knew right then and there, this was a big responsibility for a 15 year old, I didn't care at all. She was my main priority. I went to the store and for 2 bottles and kitten formula. As days passed she opened up a new part of me, my love for this baby was so strong. I slept with her every single night. About a year passed when she got out side and didn't come back for days. I've searched so hard for her, I posted ads trying to find her. Eventually 4 days later she was outside. My baby was so dirty, and hungry. Let her inside have her food the washed her up. I was ecstatic that she was safe at home. I kept my eyes on her to make sure she couldn't get outside again. About two months passed when I noticed she was getting more heavier and wider. I couldn't believe it, I felt babies moving. I helped her every day gave her everything she needed and made sure she was safe. On July 5th, 2012 she gave birth to 4 beautiful miracles. 3 boys and 1 girl. She was having problems, so I comforted her, and helped her. The look she gave me, I'll always remember. It was love in her eyes. After about a hour and a half of pushing all the babies were here. They were all healthy and active. We kept them till they were 12 weeks, then we have them to people we knew personally. After that me and her grew together, she was my best friend. She was a healthy beautiful Baby. In August of 2013 I moved out of my moms and didn't take her right away. I waited until October when I was all settled down and ready for my baby to be happy. Every day up until she moved in, I went to go see her and spend time with her. We were alone until late December when my partner moved in with us. I didn't know how she was going to act towards him, I was nervous sure wouldn't accept him. But surprisingly she adored him and every time I left for work she would cuddle up on him until I got home. We slept with her every night. She was the Queen of the bed. She sleep between me and a pillow every night all night until I woke up. January 1st 2014 is the day i brought a new kitten home. It was me willing to help it from a certain situation. It upset me, because I didn't want lily to think I'm betraying her or replacing her. I was unsure what to do or think about this. It took about a week and a half for them to get some what use to eachother. They played together and cuddled eachother Up until the 20th.
I noticed lilys change in appetite, behavior, and even her mood around January 20th , 2014. l didn't think to much of it because i just brought in a kitten around new years. they didnt get along at first but that Changed up until the 20th. I noticed how She Would just lay in One Spot for hours at a time, that wasn't like her at All. She still had her appetite tho . She has always been a Curious / hyper cat she was always up and going she was so full of energy . Then around the 24th is when She stopped eating her food . l immediately went to the store and got her wet food to see if she wanted that instead. She seemed interested and took a few licks. I left her alone so she could eat it, when I came back I noticed she was only licking the juices out of it. I thought that was extremely strange because she always ate the wet food. So I tried a different method. I mixed the cat food with kitten formula too see if that would help, yet she continued to link the juices out of it. I watched her carefully over the next 2 days I noticed she had 2 accidents , and wasn't eating or drinking. I even tried the method I did before and that didn't work. So on the 26th of January I checked her gums, they were pale to the point of white and then I felt how thin she became. I knew right then and there it couldn't be depression because of the kitten. I took her to the hospital. I sat in the waiting lounge filling out paperwork, when it was finally our turn to see the doctor, lily was beyond frightened, I was in tears because this wasn't my pet, she's more then that this is my child, my responsibility, my world. The doctor tried to take her temperature but lily wouldn't hold still. The doctor took her in the back room where they finally got her temperature. The doctor came back out but not with lily. That's when I knew something wasn't right. I looked the doctor in the eyes and she told me lily was very ill, and would I like to do a snap test on her. I agreed to that, I needed to know what was wrong with my baby! The doctor said it should be about 10 minutes. Those 10 minutes felt like a lifetime. I waited anxiously for the results. Finally the moment I've been waiting for, turned into a nightmare. I knew right the and there something was seriously wrong with lily. I looked at the doctor she held a small white test in her hands, she told me come look and I'll explain what this means. I seen two blue dots, one in the middle and one on the right. She said "The one in the middle will always be there its a neutral dot, but the one one the right means she's positive for felV. I'm so sorry" my heart dropped. I couldn't give up on my baby so I asked if there's anything we can do to help her, I got the choices of putting her down or giving her antibiotics and hoping for the best. She told me she wasn't in any pain she was just very thin and ill. I knew my answer right at that moment. I wasn't giving up on her, she trusts me and loves me. I know or would be a long, costly path but I wasn't ready to lose her. I'm ready for this responsibility. So the doctor prescribed lily with antibiotics , and cat food. She told me to call back the next day of lily still won't eat and she'll call and get me a appetite stimulant. After we left the vet, I went back to my moms so every one could spend time with lily and comfort her. I gave her the first dose of her medication along with water and a little food. She wouldn't eat or drink so I used a syringe and I had to force feed her. That broke my heart but I knew she was starving and needed atleast a little bit of nutrients in her body, so I helped her. After I was done with her feeding I let her rest up. She was very drowsy. But yet still very aware of her surroundings. If you called her name she would look at you, if you moved she would glance over and see what your doing. I opened a bag of muffins and she perked her head up and sniffed the bag as if she was interested in eating one, but she nudged it away. A few hours after resting I gave her the can of cat food and yet again she seemed interested, but just laid her head back down. I knew she needed some more food in her system so I took some water and some of the soft cat food mixed it until it was like a formula then put it on a syringe and feed her again. She kept the food down. I knew this would be a very long night. Throughout the night I kept waking up making sure she was warm, comfortable and still breathing. If it got to cold I turned on a heater. But around mid night I felt her get up, go on the floor and I heard her gagging. Most of the food I gave her She threw up. But I let her go where she felt comfortable and that was on the floor under my dresser. I checked on her constantly throughout the night to make sure she was okay. Finally 8 am comes around I wake up, find lily, set her on the bed, give her the medication along with water, then I feed her a half teaspoon of food. She didn't seem to interested or happy but she needed to eat. So I filled up 2 1/2 small syringes and fed them to her. Most of the food she swallowed then the rest she pushed out of her mouth. I wasn't going to force her to eat top much because I knew her stomach couldn't handle to much since she really hasn't ate in days.i had to leave for work so I left 2 different kinds of cat food out, a bowl of water, a litter box and a warm blanket. The first thing she did was use the litter box then laid down in it. I moved Her to the warm blanket where she laid for 10 minutes then got up and laid under my bed. On my way to work I knew there was more that could be done. So once I got to work and was able to sit down and relax I looked up felv and to my surprise something amazing popped up. It was the LTCI shot. I read up on it and knew lily had the chance to fight this virus and live a healthier, happier life. The 27th of January is the day I will talk to the vet about this shot, I can't waste another day because the sooner she gets it the greater the chance of her getting better will come. I went in the vet as soon as I got off of work. To talk to them and get appetite supplements. He filled out a prescription so I could get them. I hurried and got that filled out. I came back home around 830pm. With the medicine in hand ready to give it to her. I walked in my room not even caring about anything else. Looked on my bed , and there she was. I petted her , but noticed something was different she didn't acknowledge me. I lifted up the blanket she was under to see her still, no movement or anything. This is every moms worse nightmare, seeing you baby in your bed not breathing. I will never get that face out of my head, those eyes just glazing at the heater that was in front of her. I couldn't breathe, I felt like I failed as her mom, someone she trusted. I remember the last things I said and did. I told her I love you baby, I'll be back in a few hours. Your a beautiful baby. I'll see you soon and petted her. So at 830am was the last time I seen and talked to my baby. This feeling is the worst feeling in the world. The night of, January 26th was the last night I got to physically sleep and feel her next to me. It doesn't feel real. It can't be happening, I need her in my life she was my world. I was laying in bed the night she passed , it was quiet and I heard a growl it sounded just like lily when she didn't like what you were doing. I will never forget my baby, she will be in my dreams every night. It's crazy to think the day after i took her to the hospital was the day i found her dead. This love for her will never fade, i could never love another furbaby again.
It's crazy to think she's gone we had many memories together, a very long but short time spent together. I wasn't prepared for this situation, I didn't think it would happen so soon. But it did this was a very life changing event. Just remember to live your babies like it was their last day, and never stop loving them, it could happen to any one, and it happened to me. I honestly feel lost in this world, it won't every be the same. But now she's playing with my other baby molly in heaven. Play nice you two we will meet again real soon.
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