|Purred: Thu Jun 19, '08 3:16pm PST |
|It could be that he will never be the type of cat who will allow you to pick him up or rub his belly. Of the six cats I have had in my life, they have all been different. Only two of the six liked to be held, only three liked their tummies rubbed, and they all had different ways of demanding attention and preferences for the type of attention they wanted.
I think the important thing is to first help him with his anxiety and fearful behavior. You can do this in several ways. I would start by getting a Feliway diffuser to put in the room where he spends most of his time. It is a feline facial pheremone diffuser that puts a calming, tranquil smell into the air (that only cats can smell). Also, you might try Rescue Remedy by Bach Flower Remedies to drop into his water. Put several drops into his water each time you change it and this should help him relax.
Make sure that he has a place where he can go to get away from the dogs - and even the humans - that he is not used to. He needs a place where he can feel safe and secure. If he already has this, then the two things I listed above will be a great addition.
Last, I would not pick him up, but let him come up to you and give you the love he feels comfortable giving at the moment. Some cats get very stressed out by being picked up, and he needs to feel more confident in himself. By allowing him to make the decisions about when and how he will receive love, you are letting him know that he is capable of making these decisions. Also, that he can decide not to be loved on and that's okay. Never speak harshly to him if he doesn't want the love. Always speak in a soft, comforting voice to him, letting him know that everything is okay.
I would also use this voice when he is getting love so that he will associate this loving tone with loving strokes. You may want to have some treats in a little baggie in your pocket so that you can give him a treat or two when he is receiving love. That is also a good way to give him positive reinforcement.
It will take time, and he is already known to be less than cuddly. But the fact that he is getting on your bed, asking for love on his chin and talking to you, tells me that he is well on his way to becoming more confident. You just need to help him along, and that might mean stepping back a bit and letting him make the choice of when and how he wants to be touched.
I hope this helps. I am so sorry about your dad. Daddies are special people and I will never stop missing mine, even though he has been gone for almost 10 years. I'm glad his kitty got to come be with you.
|my posts | my page | msg me | my family's posts | gift me | become friends|| [notify]|