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Wherein Biko rules the roost

If I could dictate a note to my humans...

...I might consider it.

Sometime overnight, I peed on the loveseat in the study. Then this morning after Daddy left for work, I pooped on the mat in front of the litter box.

Mommy is baffled because this is only the third time I've peed on something in eight years. Daddy told her I must be mad about something.

It's too bad Daddy is the only human around here that speaks Cat; he's been sick all week so I can't tell him anything. Hmph!

Daddy is Mine. The Found Cat will learn.

The Found Cat has been here almost five months. He keeps trying to love on Daddy, but he'll learn that Daddy is Mine.

This is what he does most of the time: sleep.

This is what I do most of the time: sleep somewhere else.

I think he's learning.

I don't know if I like this Found Cat.

Daddy has done something I was not expecting: he brought a new cat into the house.

I knew they were up to something when Daddy brought a box that stank of sick, dirty cat into the house and Mommy closed me out of the bathroom, then put a litter tray (so not private!) in the bedroom for me. I could smell the cat in there but Mommy did not let him out that day, so I was just annoyed.

Later that day, she went in there with toys I didn't play with and wet food, then with her camera. She was up to No Good.

When she sat down at her clickety screen with that camera, I staked out her lap to find out what she was up to. There was a strange cat on the screen instead of a picture of me! Quelle horreur!

She said that smelly cat had climbed up into the fender of Daddy's car and wouldn't come back out, so they had to take the car to the shop to get him out safely, then decided to bring him home because our local no-kill shelter is pretty full. Mommy put pictures of him on local websites advertising a Found Cat.

They gave him a few days in my bathroom to clean up and rest, then they let him out into my house, where he promptly laid down and smelled up my new pillow. They took him to my veterinarian to check for a microchip and get checked out, but he came home with no more identification than he left with and a big scratch on his belly glued together. The phone rang a lot, but all of those people were missing cats that had different neutered or clawed status than this feline houseguest. One lady visited twice because he looked like a giant version of her missing cat! I liked that lady.

Now this Found Cat has been here for almost two months. He eats out of my dry food dispenser, but he leaves the occasional wet food to me. He makes stinky poops in my litter box, but Mommy started adding a finer-textured litter to the box that I like more than the old kind. And he gets to sit on Daddy's lap in the study when I don't, but he doesn't like to go outside on the balcony so I have that whole area to myself with the jungly potted trees and new bird feeders.

I don't know if I like him, but he knows his place. Most of the time.