April 3rd 2012 8:22 pm
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You know what friends? I forgot that the start of April also means our yearly visit to our vet. I saw the carriers come out. I was cautious but not fearful. BIG mistake !!!
I did know something terrible was in store for me though when I got grabbed up and taken into the bathroom, where awaiting me were papertowels, and my floofy pants comb...
That's right. I was robbed in my own bathroom of my 'fluid of expression.' Any time that my tail is in the air, I will usually "express" myself. Combine 'air tail' with a floofy pants brushing and it's an absolute certainty that I will deliver an expressionist expression.
If that were the extent of my indignity this diary could end right here... but no, it gets worse. After the bathroom debacle, I was put into the green carrier. (why does Sweets get the pink one?) I started meowing my displeasure with my situation the moment the door was closed on the carrier. "I see what you did there" I meowed. "I know what this means. Let me out now and no grudges will be held. All will be forgiven." My cries of distress went unheeded.
I watched Sweets get bundled into her carrier and she joined me in our loud meowing protest!
I watched Nuk be captured and put into his harness. I laughed as his harness had to be adjusted (BIGGER) to fit around his chest.
I should not have laughed....
ALL the way to the vets Sweets and I alternately cried and looked as pitiful as we could through the spaces in our carriers. I would start the cry and Sweets would echo or the other way around. It was truly a cooperative girl-cat moment.
Finally at the vet's we sat for a little while in the 'waiting area' while people remarked on the big baby in his harness that was hiding his head behind Papa's back. Finally we were taken back into an exam room and the real fun began. Nuk gets to be examined first. (Once we're in our carriers Sweets and I are not so eager to come out again, until we're back home.) Nuk, knows how to turn himself into a rock. A rock doesn't do anything except sit there. It would seem that a rock doesn't mind to have his temperature taken, or to be weighed or have injections. A rock doesn't mind to be groped and stethoscoped.
While Nuk was being examined I let Papa coax me out from my carrier. BIG mistake! "Oh you're pretty" the vet said to me. "Such a pretty girl." Then she lifted me onto the scale and she grunted (as if I too were a rock. A heavy rock.) "Feels like this one doesn't miss any meals" she said about me. (and all the humans wickedly laughed at me...)
A laugh that wasn't really warranted. Out of the three of us, I am the only cat who has maintained her weight over the past year. Sure, I didn't lose any weight, but I also didn't GAIN.
The "rock" is the heaviest cat in the house now, but wasn't subjected to any derogatory comments about his weight (discrimination!) It was even pointed out that Nuk has a waist while I (apparently) do not.
I'm not a fan of having my feet off the ground (surface) and so each time I was picked up and transported to table, to scale, and back to table my little legs paddled helplessly in the air. More humiliating laughter from the humans.
The final verdict though is that we're all healthy but we have to start on the "moderate calorie" version of the food that Sweets (makes us all) eats. (At least *I* know that it's not *my* fault that we are being calorically downgraded.)
Blessedly the ride home always seems shorter than the ride *to* the vet. (and since Sweets and I had nothing further to protest) we were quiet all the way home.
gabby, take care that you don't get the GREEN c-thing again. with a reddish blond like yours it makes an unwelcome 3-d-effect! i bet that's why they made fun of you! you do have a waiste - they only can't see it when green/red makes you "bulge"...
Oh how I hates cat carriers too! I cry and I cry and I cry but it never does any goods!
I hope you "expressed" your displeasure on your humans' pillows when you got home!
Sounds like you three are going to have to read mom's article about fat cat diets when it comes out in her magazine! She calls it Junk in the Trunk (although that may change).
ewe noe, peepulz will pay top dollar for exprezzionist art werk....
ewe mite hafta switch yur canvas frum paper towel ta just plane canvas canvas tho...