How To Drive Your Human Crazy

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November 13th 2011 11:06 am
[ Leave A Comment | 13 people already have ]

1. Walk across pillow on your human’s bed just as he/she is about ready to fall asleep. Plop down next to his/her head and position your tail so it falls directly in human’s mouth.

2. At approximately 2 a.m., start hacking until you cough up a ginormous hairball. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids before you go to bed so hairball is nice and juicy. Cough up hairball anywhere on bed where it will make the greatest impact.

3. At 4 a.m. jump up on dresser in bedroom. Knock objects onto floor that will make noise and get your human’s attention. A hairbrush, a picture frame, or bottle of hand lotion works well.

4. At 5 a.m. jump on window ledge closest to bed. Play with curtains or blinds, anything that makes noise and will wake your human up.

5. At 5:30 a.m. jump on top of bed and walk across human’s body. Remind them that it is time to eat. Do not let them go back to sleep, do whatever you can to get them out of bed. Lick human's earlobes or face if they do not get up.

6. At 5:45 a.m. run alongside your human as they walk out to kitchen. If they reach for coffeemaker before opening can of cat food, walk directly in front of their feet until they almost trip. Remind them to feed cat first, make coffee second.

7. Bolt out front door when human goes outside to get newspaper. Run across front yard and allow human to chase you. When human starts to get really frantic about you running away, run back to front porch and allow them to bring you back inside house.

8. When human sits down to use laptop computer and drink coffee, walk across keyboard. Plop down on human’s lap and beg for attention. Roll on top of keyboard as needed.

9. Jump up on coffee table. Knock book or magazine to floor, anything you can find to get attention.

10. When human leaves house or engages in chores or other activities, curl up and take a LONG nap. Get well rested for the next evening.

11. Repeat #1 – 10. Happy Sunday!

Love,
Luke

Leave A Comment | 13 people already have

Purred by: Henry (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 11:15 am

You're my cat hero!!
Henry

Purred by: Natalie the NatCat (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 11:37 am

Luke, youngster, you've been spying on me! How did you get in here?

Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy McGee (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 12:36 pm

Hey, don't you ever chomp on your human if they won't get out of bed? It works for me when nothing else does! I know Mom always says how sweet I am, and I am a sweet boy, but I do know how to use teeth when necessary (or lack thereof - my one fang and the tiny front teeth still do the trick)!

Thanks for the smiles and Mom really LOLed at your list!

Love,
Gump

Purred by: Luke (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 1:08 pm

Hi Henry, NatCat, and Gumpy! Mom hopes that this list doesn't make me sound too awful. I've actually done every single thing on this list, just not in a single night...yet! Good thing she loves me to pieces, because I really can be a little stinker at times. She keeps reminding us that pets are supposed to lengthen their humans' lives, not shorten them ~ MOL!

Purred by: River (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 2:08 pm

Pawsome list buddy! I loves it! I can really see myself doing.... all of these things whenever the chances presents itself! hehehe! It's a good thing our mommies love us like crazy isn't it?

Purred by: Zoe Kona Sunshine DG#2 (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 2:46 pm

You've been schooling Gris haven't you.

That's some funny stuff.

Purred by: Kallie (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 3:19 pm

I love ur mind Luke. I will put in action these things immediately. Starting tonite. hehe

Purred by: Mietzi Katze (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 7:33 pm

These are such good suggestions. I'll have to print the list out and keep it for future reference. I especially like number 6. Feed cat first, make coffee second. Mom loves coffee a little bit too much. Thank you Luke.

Purred by: Toffy (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 8:50 pm

I love this list, Luke!

Purred by: Minko (Catster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 10:34 pm

Try giving your Mom a headbonk on the elbow of the arm that is holding a nice full cup iod hot coffee...Hmmm, that usually gets a reaction! MOL!
You do a lot of things that I or my furblings have tried, is it part of the Catster-clan membership requirement! MOL!!

Purred by: Hunter (Catster Member)

November 14th 2011 at 6:01 am

Wow Luke, This list is spectacular!!! I bite my mom when she won't wake up. Oh and pulling on her hair shoots her straight out of bed. Keep up the good work Buddy!!!