Timo's Tall Tales

Do you know what an Enema is?

September 28th 2012 8:15 pm
[ View A Comments (15) ]

Hi friends,
I have embarrassing news. Do you all know what an enema is? Um, could the Ladies please all go and get their nails done or something.....

Okay, fellas listen. You don't ever want to get one of those. Mom got me one today and I didn't like it one bit. I had some litter box problems when Mom came home from work. I tried to go and tried to go and tried again but nothing came. Then I barfed out my supper. Then I started meowing really loud. Mom was going to check me out but I yelled at her NOT to touch me. Mom was getting scared because it was 6 pm and our vet closes at 8. And what if it's a urinary tract blockage? I had that years ago and it is very dangerous and expensive. So I was chauffeured to the vet.

The whole trip there I was yelling at Mom that this is NOT necessary. I'll get my business done. Just give me some time. I don't need any help! My goodness was the vet busy. They have four exam rooms and all were occupied. One after the other big dogs came out and finally I was escorted into exam room number three. The doc ask Mom how she's been. Good, she said. Hallo! Cat here not feeling so good! Vet prodded my poor belly and said my bladder is almost empty. I'm not blocked. It must be constipation. Oh thank God. Mom had been praying that it would be constipation. (Mom, could you pray for Tunie Samiches instead please?)

Now I was taken to the back. Hmph, no snacks there. They looked at me with X-ray vision. Yup, said doc. That confirms it. I had a feces ball which I apparently could not push out. Actually, I had been working a long time on that ball. Balls are fun. Just ask your dog. You know what vet lady wanted to do? Oh my gosh, this is really embarrassing. *blush* She was going to try to extract my feces ball manually. Off she went to try that. 10 seconds later she was back to report to Mom that I was not cooperating (you think!). I was in too much pain. What they would do now is sedate me. Not all of me, just the lower parts. That way they could clean me out and I wouldn't even notice. Well, I did notice! First they put something into me. It's called an enema and it's nasty. Mom was told it would take about an hour. So she went shopping (The nerve of that woman to go shopping when I'm suffering!) An hour later she picked me up all squeaky clean. The vet said I need to spend the night in the bathroom because I might leak. Also there might be "blowout" and Mom probably doesn't want my blowout all over her couch.

So here I am in the bathroom. We have a big bathroom. There are two old towels, food, water and a nice litter box. Mom thinks I need more exercise. Nope. I would have taken care of my feces ball. This was all so unnecessary. Poor Mom left a lot of bucks at the vet place. She was gonna buy herself a crown but she said it'll have to wait a bit. That's good because we already have a queen - Sisfur Mietzi.

Stay clean as a whistle everypaw.

 
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 3:45 am

Dood! I was constipated once but I didna need no emana! I feel so bad fur you!! Hopefully you'll go tonight and be let out of the baffroom.
Purred by: ZACK (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 4:29 am

I thought I would read this while Zoey is in the other room.

What an evening you had. Really sorry to hear it. Hope you are feeling better though. Really well written and amusing diary entry. MOL!!

Hope you get all cleaned out with not too much mess for your mom.

Just let it all out!
Purred by: Pipo (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 4:54 am

Oh, feces...That is not fun, though us dudes were a bit gigglwy as we read this with meowmy.Hey,she is a female, and we let her read it...hmmm
Well, glad that your Mom was quick thinking and on the ball..(Um, pardon the pun...), to know that something was amiss...and a simple fix fur sure! Sorry fur the indignities you had to suffer though.
Our question is...if the fix was that simple why did so much have to leave your Mom's pocket and stay at that vet pawlace?? She said bucks, did they have large antlers that were poking her, so she took them out?? MOL!

Hope you have a quiet and clean night!
Purrs!

Maybe NEWMAN would enjoy this story, Timo...he loves to read and know anything poopy...
Purred by: Timo Katze - DB #105 (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 11:09 am

Thank you for thinking of me, Finney, Zack and Pipo & Minko. I'm out of the baffroom prison. There was no blowout and no leakage. I'm all clean already. The vet places cleaned all my poopy out of me. They were just afraid that I would have an accident because they had pumped a lot of water into that end.
I feel much better and had a good supper and a nice brekki this morning.

Yeah Pipo, I don't know why the vet wanted so many of Mom's bucks. It seemed simple enough. Warm water in, poopy ball out. Well, I'm off to rest my butt on a nice soft blankie.
Purred by: Luke (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 1:03 pm

Timo that really stinks! Sure glad the big ball of poop is out of you now, you must feel much better. What a terrible ordeal you went through!

Purrs, Luke
Purred by: Beepers (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 2:08 pm

Glad there was no blowout, dude! I hope you're feeling better now.
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 4:13 pm

Glad you're out of the baffroom now Timo! Here's hoping you poop normal now.
Purred by: Timo Katze - DB #105 (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 4:36 pm

Luke, it did stink, MOL. Mom felt sorry for the vet. It was a really young lady. I guess the new people always get the sh*t jobs.
Beepers, yes much better. Glad that is out of me. Poooh.
Finney, Mom bought a can of pumpkin. I think she'll bake a pie.
Purred by: Newman (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 4:38 pm

Wowza, I wish I had known about blowouts before I wrote Poopology! This is one exciting story, Timo! And to think that your Mom could go shopping while all this was going on with you. I think you might have to advertise for a new Mom!
Purred by: Timo Katze - DB #105 (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 5:20 pm

Meowllo Newman, great researcher of everything poop related. Yes, blowout sounds kind of fun, doesn't it? I'm almost sorry that I didn't have one.
I DO need a new Mom. The woman stopped at a Panera's and ate an Orange Scone while I was struggling with the Poop Ball !! I'm still not talking to her. Well, I just meowed a little bit because it was lunch time.
I forgot to say, when I was in Samoa's diary, I hope your Mom will feel less punkish soon. Purrs.
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 5:35 pm

Pumpkin or pumpin pie filling? she can't give you the filling because it has sugar in it.
Purred by: Timo Katze - DB #105 (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 6:15 pm

Just the regular pumpkin. I think I just ate some. It goes good with my turkey Blue Buffalo.
Purred by: Finnegan (Finney) (Catster Member)

September 29th 2012 at 6:17 pm

Okay good. I figured your mom knows that anyway but had to make sure.
Purred by: Miss Mittens - Angel DG #14 (Catster Member)

September 30th 2012 at 3:27 am

Glad you're feeling better Timo and hope you never have a repeat! Pumpkin (yum yum!) should help.

Sorry to say, but unfortunately I DO know what an enema is! Had several of them. It's an unladylike, undignified and painful procedure which is best wiped from memory! I had to stay at the hospital once and got 4 of those enemas over a weekend before I could poop. Mommy doesn't know if I had a blow out and if I did, considers herself fortunate not to have seen it!

xoxo
angel Miss Mittens
Purred by: Timo Katze - DB #105 (Catster Member)

September 30th 2012 at 11:30 am

Dear Angel Miss Mittens,
I am so sorry that you had that awful experience. Yes, it is very undignified. I did a poopy this morning. All systems are functioning again :)

 

Timo Katze - DB #105


 

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