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Queen Of The Outside

Mommie Luvs Me

Dear Diary:

When mommie and daddie moved to Florida a year ago they left me wiff the people who bought their house. We were all sad but we all felt since this was the only home I've ever had it would be the best ting fur me.
A ended up really liking these humans.I even go and sit on the man's lap and in the winter they let me go into the basement just like mommie and daddie used to.
A month ago I was hanging out on my porch and guess who comes sauntering up the driveway.Yup, mommie. I was so glad to see her!I went running right over to her and told her all about my adventures over the last year.We talked fur awhile and she told me she luved me and missed me but could see that I was in good hands.
It was sooooo good to see mommie and she said she'd come back to see me in 3 months.I can't wait to see her again. In the meantime I'm gonna have some more adventures so we'll have more to talk about then.

Happy,Happy,Joy,Joy,
Tabatha

You Find This Funny Mommie?

Dear Diary:

I see mommie put some birdies in my room. She was actually laughing while she was doin it! THE NERVE!!!!!!!!

Alright look, I'll tell you this story but you MUST promise not to repeat it ok? I mean, I do have a rep to keep up.

One day, it was in the summer time, mommie and daddie were on the porch. I was out purrusing the property, doin my job. I looked up into one of the trees and there was a bird's nest wiff some birds in it. Now #1, I have a job to do and #2 I'm a CAT, I'm curious. I climbed up into the tree and apparently the momma birdie didn't want me to have a look see. Imagine, she started to get all huffy! I ran *yes ran* down the tree but it seems that I had really pissed her off. She came after me wiff a vengeance! There was noting I could do and nowhere fur me to go! I ran around the yard wiff this bird chasin me and peckin at my butt! FINALLY, I spied daddies truck and I made a beeline fur it. Let me tell you, I was so traumatized, I stayed under there fur a hour! Ever since then, I have not liked birds at all.

So no mommie, this is not a funny ting to hang in my room.

Purrterbed,
Tabatha

My Job

Dear Diary:

My job is not an easy one. I am the protector of my pawrent property and Queen of my porch. I am in charge of pest control and do a very good job of it if I may say so.

Well, the other day my job was very difficult. Our neighbor across the road has 30 some odd cats (animal control and the Humane Society keeps coming and taking them away, but they don't take the older unspayed ones. How stupid is that?) and 4 dogs. Our next door neighbor has 2 dogs.

So here I am, mindin my own bees wax, loungin on my porch, when here comes 15 cats and 3 dogs onto MY property! I immediately became alert and started to assess the situation. There were 5 cats on the other side of the hill, the rest were roamin around the yard and the dogs had gone up to the back of the property. I decided to take on the 5 cats on the other side of the hill. I knew I could get them all in one fell swoop!

I came off the porch slowly, formulating my plan. Daddie was to the left of me busily putting wood on the cart to bring inside. The cats were off to my right. I started to creep up past the cars, slowly inching my way to the tree and flower garden. I was ready fur my attack. I started runnin when daddie saw me. He hollered out my name a couple of times but it was too late, I was in full attack mode! What's the matter daddie? You tink I can't take care of this situation? Ha! Watch me!

I ran to the hill, sprang up into the air and landed on one of the cats. Boy was it surprised! We tangled fur a few seconds and it ran off. I immediately went fur the next cat. Ha! He ran off too. The third cat and I stood and growled at each other and then I got it too. I started fur the fourth one but it and the fifth one thought better than to tangle wiff ME! They ran off too.

By now I had caught the attention of the dogs. Mind you, there was screamin goin on during all this. I headed in their direction but apparently they decided that if I had taken on those 5 cats (they were small dogs) they better not mess wiff me. Off they went.

I turned around and there were the other 10 cats slinking off to their home across the road. Humph! That'll teach you to mess wiff me!

Daddie was so worried about me as I sauntered *a cat must saunter when it has done it's job so well* towards him. Look daddie, not a scratch on me. What are you so worried about? I do this all the time.
Ok, ok, I have come home all beat up but I tell you, that's from the wild animals. They're a lot harder to chase off!

I went back up on my porch railin and continued to rein from there. Such is the life of an outside cat.

Snoozin Wiff One Eye Open,
Tabatha