I have the same initials as Jack Bauer

I'm ONE and in trouble!

October 28th 2009 5:16 am
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Well, not really, but I did a VERY bad thing last night.
I was 'exceptionally playful' yesterday, mostly with Mommy's hands and shirt. I was grabbing and biting, etc. all day (even after she gave me turkey bacon for breakfast and shrimp in the afternoon).
Well, last night, right before bedtime, Daddy held me and Mommy clipped my nails. I was AWESOME during it! Daddy even commented how good I was.
Well, 45 seconds, later, I was biting Mommy's hand and sleeve.
Then I did the REALLY bad thing....I sat up and BIT Mommy's upper arm, underneath (closer to the body, sensitive spot). Mommy didn;t yell or anything, but she did get firm with me and tell me "No, No, Jakey" and I saw that her eyes were watery. She kept rubbing the area and telling Daddy that it hurt. Daddy said "I'm sure it does. He has a hard time knowing when enough is enough."
I didn;t know WHAT to do because I thought I was in trouble, so I started running around like a gazelle. That's when I saw my older sister, Esther. She's almost 12 and diabetic and, as Mommy puts it "Just the right amount of crabby". I tackled her. Hard. Esther growled and grumbled and tried to run away and still, I went after her. Mommy told me 'no' but I didn;t listen. I went after Esther again.
Esther went over the babygate at the bottom of the stairs and as I started after her, Mommy grabbed me. She brought me back into the dining room and tols me again "No. no, Jake" when she let go of me, what did I do? Went right up the steps after Esther, who grumbked some more and then smacked me right in the head. I thought it was agame until Mom came up the steps and actually raised her voice at me. She shook her finger and said "Jake! KNOCK IT OFF!"
I finally did because Mommy doesn't ever get stern with us unless its REALLY BAD. So, I sorta ruined the last few minutes of my birthday.
Mom's arm is bruised where I bit her. And I did feel kinda bad about that last nigth but I didn't know how to handle it. So I sat on the edge of the tub enclosure and stared at her sweetly and meowed just a bit. Sigh.

 

I'm 1 Today!!

October 27th 2009 5:00 am
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Well, its my first birthday! Mommy says she can't believe the year went by so quickly! She says I became a big boy when she blinked. I think I am going to get some good eats today because its my favorite thing to do.
I think I heard something about shrimp....

 

They're Gone

March 6th 2009 2:59 pm
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Well, I was neutered today. Whatever THAT means.
All I know is that I wasn't allowed ANYTHING to eat after 6pm last night.
WHAT?????!!!!!??????
I had my dinner, sure...but, no treats, no chunks of chicken or duck, no slices of ham...NOTHING.
This stinks like cooked peas, corn chips or smelly feet.
I was STARVING!! And what the heck was wrong with Mommy and Daddy??They kept telling me they 'couldn't give me some nums nums."
Um, YES, you can! Just open the door to the cold thingy, take out the duck, break it up and give it to me. Its simple. Really it is.
So, I kept shouting, each time a bit louder than the first.
Finally, out of complete frustration, I gave up. I went to the wicker basket bed and fell asleep.
This morning was a totally different story. I was the first kitty in the bedroom this morning. Hopped on the bed, jumped on Mom..."Good Morning! MAN! Am I hungry! Thank goodness its morning! I can't wait to eat! Come on, let's go.Get up, Mom, that's it, outta bed. Now, lets go up the steps. Come on, Mom. Mom? Mom? No!! Not to the bathroom...to our room. Where the good stuff is...Mom? My tummy is rumbling like a freight train. I'm SO hungry...Oh! I feel like everything is going dark....I can barely move...I'm so weak...."
Aw forget it! She didn't listen. Never mind. I give up. I'll steal Matilda (the puppy) food when she gets fed! Simple and easy.
Then Mommy scoops me up in her arms, kisses me on the head and says "Jakey, I know this is hard, Little Boy. Trust me, Mommy doesn;t like it anymore than you, but she can't let you eat something before your surgery. It could make you very sick and Mommy would feel guilty if you got hurt. I promise as soon as the doc says 'all clear', I will give you something good."
I played with Matilda but missed her getting brekkie. It must have been when I was yelling at Daddy in the bathroom. I wrestled with Rosey, then went back to Daddy. He was putting his shoes on and when he bent over to tie them, there I was. Sitting right in front of him, staring right into his eyes....I wasn't blinking.I stared harder and let out a TREMENDOUS scream! "DAD!! Food!"
Daddy was worst than Mommy because he didn't even act like I was talking to him.
Then I heard him tell Mommy that he couldn't even bring himself to look at me because it made him sad to hear me cry like that. Mommy said she was going to call the SPCA on herself and Daddy because not giving me food is like torture. She said "I've never seen a baby who likes to eat as much as our Jakey. This is a shame."
Then she packed me in the sherpa bag and we left the house.
Once we got to the animal hospital, they put me on a scale to see how much I weigh, took my temp (Let's not do THAT again anytime soon) and put an id collar on me.
I hung out in Mommy's office for a little bit and then I went back to the presurgery area. Mommy kissed me on the head, scratched my jaw, told me she loves me and said she would see me soon.
She came back about 40 mins later and Iwas feeling kinda funny. She asked when I would 'go back' and the doctor and his assistant said "He's already done. He did beautifully." Mom seemed to surprised, opened up my carrier and kissed me. She told me she was proud of me. Yeah, yeah, I was a good boy, I took the gas like a champ. really. I had no choice, the nurse held it on my face and I fell asleep. Then, Mommy turned to the doc and asked "When can I feed him? How long till he can eat?" YES!! CHA_CHING!!! There's the jackpot question! Nice going, Mom! Woo HOO! She wasn't kidding! She did want to feed me but wasn;t allowed to. This si AWESOME! Yeah! I'm gonna eeeeaaaaat! I'm gonnnnnnnaaaaaaa eeeaaat!
SCREECH!!!! Wait. What was that? REWIND! What did that doc say? I THOUGHT he said "Not for at least 4-5 hours" but he had that crazy blue mask across his face so I didn't hear so good. I looked at Mom, who looked at me with a sad face. "Okay" she said quietly, "its just that he REALLY likes to eat and he had such a hard time with not getting his nighttime treat or his breakfast. ut I'd rather have him safe and not throwing up. Okay, thanks Doc"
She came back over and whispered to me "Alright, Little Man, Mommy will be back in a bit. Sit tight. I'll see you soon. I love you like crazy, Jakey"
When she came back, I was very sleepy. I was glad to see her though. I purred like mad when she cuddled me.
After a little while longer, she came in and scooped me in her arms.
She carried me to her office where she had tuna for me. YEAH< TUNA!! Awesome! I scarfed it down BIG TIME and looked for more but Mommy said I had to take it easy because of the surgery.
After I ate, she took me back to the waiting area and put me back in my carrier. I took it easy and now we are waiting for Daddy to collect us so I can go home and EAT!!!!!
Later, Dudes....Its chow time!

 

WHERE'S THE CHICKEN??????

February 5th 2009 10:47 am
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Okay, Mom says I am 'growing like a weed' whatever THAT means...She says I am way too long and lanky and need some weight.
So...she gives me chicken! Woo Hoo, CHICKEN!
She either poaches it or bakes boneless chicken and then she tears off pieces for me. She says I act like its my last meal! I LOVE IT!
I have to admit, I turn into quite the monster when I am eating it. I grumble (its not really so much a growl) and I eat it like I am afraid someone will take it from me.
Well, last night, Daddy was in the kitchen, near the stove and I sat right in front of him, positioning myself between him and that lovely, magic cookering kinda machine that makes the lovely chicken...
I started SCREAMING as loud as I could (and I am REALLY loud!) Mommy was in another room and she says "Oh my goodness, what's wrong?" Daddy says "I don;t know, he's yelling about something."
Mom walks towards the kitchen and says "He's not yelling ABOUT something, he's yelling FOR something. he wants chicken. His chicken." I chime with a great big "YES!" Daddy says "well, I am not getting his chicken right now, I am busy." I turn towards Mommy who says "I'll give him his chicken." She scoops me up, grabs the container from the magic, coldy/freezy thingy with the eggs and the cheese and the MILK! and carries me to the work table. She starts breaking up delightful chunks of chicken and putting them in front of me, but I can't wait, and I try to snatch them from her fingers. She stops, covers the chicken and says "Jakey! Your manners need a great deal of work! behave yourself or it will mean no more poultry for you." Look, I may be greedy and anxious to get some nummy nummy chicken, but I'm no dummy! I contained myself until she put several pieces in front of me.
I LOVE me some chicken!

 

I've been tagged!

January 22nd 2009 7:56 am
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My seven things are:

1. I HATE the kitten in the big mirror in the bathroom! I puff myself up, turn sideways and am terribly fierce!

2. I have a Valentine, Angel! She is so cute and sweet and..oh! I don't know what more can be said about this little fighter!

3. I help Mommy clean EVERY litterbix in the house. Oh sure! She may call it somehting else, but I am filtering the litter that falls through the scoop! Never mind it lands on my head, I circulate it, thereby cleaning it.

4. I sleep every night on Tori's bottom bunk bed.

5. I cry relentlessly as soon as I hear Mommy's voice (when I am in Tori's room by myself)

6. I like to run through the house at breakneck speed!

7. I LOVE being on Catster!

 

WOO HOO!!! I have a VALENTINE!!!

January 21st 2009 12:55 pm
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Oh, joy!!!! Rapture!
*does a succession of his signature, ninja flips*

I am over the moon with glee!
I've asked Angel, the sweetest, tiniest, most beautiful little girl on this earth to be my Valentine! I told her that mommy said it was too early to ask, but she replied that it wasn't too early and that she would love to be mine!
WOO HOO!!!

 

Taken down

January 20th 2009 7:44 am
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Dang!! Millie strikes again! Good googamooga, that girl is GOOD! Okay, I have to give her props since she DID teach me some of my awesome moves. But, she doesn't have to KEEP sneak attacking me like that. A fella's gotta maintain some semblance of machismo, no matter how small he is.
Not only am I the world's greatest (smallest) ninja fighter, but I've managed to capture the hearts of these humans! You should see me work my magic! All they do is look at me, I start purring. I press myself against one of them and give them 'the look'. You all know what I am talking about. I can't be the only kitten to ever use this technic.
I close my eyes slightly, raise my chin and look like I am about to speak, but don't...Almost like the good ol' human "how ya doin'?" kinda nod...
Works like a charm...they are on me like ugly on an ape! I can't get enough kisses, scratches and strokes! I flop over and raise my front paws....they are putty in my hands. It oughta be a law to be THIS darn cute AND tough at the same time! Not that I am tooting my own horn, I mean, I have had some REALLY good teachers so far! Mags taught me how to have fun and not hurt someone. Millie has helped me perfect my hunting/stalking skills, Flurry helps me figure out how to compensate for my shortcomings and Tocca helps me just be me.
Yeah, but it takes a TRUE orange kitten, with or without limited abilities to be this wonderful (at least that's what Mommy says)

 

Like a stealth jetfighter....

January 13th 2009 5:40 am
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Okay, I may LOOK like an orange tabby kitten....but I am REALLY a NINJA! HA HA! Regretably, the humans in the house discovered my secret in the last 24 hours. However, since they ARE my family and do provide the neccesities that I require, I am forced to let them live (for the time being).
The scenario went a little something like this...
I was doing my morning exercises, out and about in the home officially this morning, rather than in the bedroom from which I have been held in isolation. I was performing some wicked hardcore moves, the likes of which have only been seen in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Tabby" when my comrade in the neuro isse, CH, approached me. He tried to play it cool, but I knew what he was about...he challenged me and despite his obvious advantage of age/experience and size (he's 4 times bigger than myself), I accepted. The match was fairly even, each of us besting the other in several move combinations. I could see the old timer was tiring, so I took that opportunity and went all "Matrix" on him....I ran a few steps away, turned and crouched. He anticipated a direct attack, rearing he front portion of his body in a pseudo 'sit' stance. I letp slightly to the right, but instead of a staright landing, I pulled the ol' tuck and role surprise!! I started my flip mid-air, landing as any good gymnist will tell you, rolling fluidly on the carpet, only to spring up slightly behind the evil opponent, taking him down by way of his rear left quarters. My moves were fast and furious! I was on his belly in no time flat. He never knew what hit him! I raised my head, almost in a full sit on his stomach.
"Flurry", I said with my eyes and body language, "you have underestimated my abilities. For I am a warrior. A ninja. A stealth kitteh with wicked fierce moves and grooves. You are talented, but you have met your match. There is no comparison to an orange tabby."
I alighted the defeated the black and white fighter. I stepped onto the living room rug and WHAMMMOO!! I was knocked backwards and to the left, onto my side. What the...?

....to be continued.....

 
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