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Your cat loves a clean toilet -- don't we all? Catster's singing Cat Lady, Sarah Donner, explains why.
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HRH Cmdr. Princess Bast
It's mysterious. There is something that lurks in Meowmy's bed. They tend to be at the bottom of the bed, so at least they aren't up by her head where they can get in her ears or something. I do still have to protect her, though.
So I sit and I wait. Sure enough, they move. They must be pretty skittish because every time Meowmy moes, they move. So I sit at the end of the bed, crouched and ready for action. When I see one move, I warm up my leg muscles by doing a good little butt wiggle. I release the springs and Wham! I must have hit them really hard because it even made meowmy jump! I got it that time, but they must reproduce quick because they never go away?
Anybody else have this problem? How do you get rid of the bedbugs? Why are they so darn big?
All of us kitties were just lounging around, relaxing and doing our normal activities, when it appeared. We get really excited when one appears. It doesn't happen often, so it seems like more of a treat than anything else. When one does appear, Meowmy says it must be suicidal. In case you haven't figured it out, I am referring to a mouse. Well of course we had to battle it. And I'm sure you can guess the outcome. Meowmy wasn't there, so she can't relay our play by play. How does she know we even battled one you ask? Not how you are thinking. Most kitties leave it for their human to find, but it is usually mostly intact. Today Meowmy found a couple of bits here and there mixed all into our yark. The piles only vaguely resembled what they had started out as. Mousie Picatso statues all for you, Meowmy!
I am a very skilled assistant. Meowmy needs help effury morning, you see. She does that crazy thing that humans do... you know, where they get wet voluntarily! I don't know why they do it, but they do. Anyway, when Meowmy gets out, she puts those fake fur wraps on. (I think they are called towels?) Then she puts fur sticks in her ears - small white things called Q-tips.
These Q-tip things must be tricky, because they like to stay in there after she puts them there. (Yet another thing humans do that I don't understand.) This is where my presence is so greatly needed. I stand on the sink and put my front paws on her to balance, then I save her from the Q-tip by pulling it right out of her head.
You might think I am just playing around, but I can assure you I am not. I don't keep it. I just spit it right out into her hands. You may be asking why it is so necessary that I be the one to pull it out. Why can't she pull it out? Well, I think it is a very sneaky thing. It looks all soft and fluffy and completely harmless, and that is what draws her in. But when it gets in there, it sends tentacles into her brain and keeps her from being able to raise her hand to get it out! If left in there, it would probably crawl in there completely and take over her brain! That might be a good thing, but I highly doubt it. What if that thing forgot to feed us? I'm sure it would probably start eating our food.
Now you see why my presence is so vitally important! Thank goodness I see the threat and manage to get there in time. I have to ask all kitties out there to save their humans. Yank those Q-tips out of their ears!!