Food tampering - again!

I'm really having a wonderful time in my new life. I feel great and run all over the place. Mom says I'll have to go back for another xray though - I still chew at my hip/tail and she wants to see if it's healed ok. I hope it has. It would be sad to lose my beautiful tail. It's long and thick, and I've carefully kept it clean. But if it's hurting, maybe it would be best to let it go. We'll see. That's not today.

What IS today is that Mom is tampering with my food again! First she took away my dry stuff, and now she's mixing raw food in with my Pro Plan! She puts in teeny-tiny pieces, like I won't notice. I do, of course. I've tried to go on strike, but you know how diets go: I get hungry and cave to temptation. It's really not bad tasting, but I can't tell her so. She's winning and I hate that. I like it much better when I win.

Here's my fear: so she adds this food in bigger and bigger amounts and phases out the cans. I guess I could live with that, at least I think so. But what happens when it's all raw and no Pro Plan? Will she stop buying it? The best thing about Pro Plan is that gravy - is that going to go away too? I couldn't bear life without that gravy. Why bother surviving a rottweiler attack if you're just going to get your gravy taken away???

She says the new food is much healthier. Bah. You should see what she eats - makes me look like an absolute health nut. And the cans are so, so expensive. If Shelley and I start eating real meat, Mom will be able to feed Byron, Shelley, Rumble, Lurch and me for the same amount she spends now on just Shelley's and my cans. I keep telling her to bring back the nice cheap kibble, but she won't. She says as expensive as the wet food is, it's still better than paying vet bills later. Whatever. She says I'll like the raw food better than anything once I get used to it. Right, like I'll ever like that drek. Not without gravy.

And how come she's not tormenting Frodo? Granted, Frodo was willing to convert to a premium canned food, and since she doesn't eat much it's ironically more affordable than ours. (I eat a LOT.) Plus Frodo hunts more than any of us, so she gets lots of raw food. But the fact remains that she gets to keep her canned food and we'll get ours taken away. Tell me what's fair in that. The only thing she'll lose is getting to clean up after Mom serves us. Mom dumps the food in the bowl, Byron licks the can top and Frodo cleans out the cans. It's a good system. Why fix what already works?

I have to admit, though, things are good. Last night I attacked Lurch and then *poof!* disappeared before he could lunge back. I still lie in the sink bowl (is Mom ever going to hook that thing up?), jump up on the fridge, hang out on the laundry piles, pop in and outside, and catch some mice. The other night Mom saw me jump a good two feet in the air to catch a moth, like a basketball player would! Too bad she didn't get a video of it - I was so uber-cool. And Mom's gotten pretty generous with treats, even though they're not "healthy." We go nuts for them, even Frodo The Elegant and Reserved. Mom shakes that bag and we come running from all corners of the earth. Oh, and all us cats (except Frodo) have conspired to act like Lurch and meow and nag for whatever we want. That's fun.

It's a nice home. I like it and have a good time. I just want my gravy.

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