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Tiggy's neurotic life

I smell the nip!

What can I say? I'm a big boy. So I knocked over the end table twice. I know there is catnip in that bag! Why do I have to wait? I think I heard the hairless monkey say they were out of the large size containers. I will have to deal with a small container and *share*. Look at me! Do I look like I want to share the catnip? This is ridiculous. I'm so upset I think I will go eat the fake tree again. Then I will mrao until I get the water turned on. I know the bowl was just filled but it's not the same as a running faucet that I can slap my paw in the little puddle. I hate this diet. I want more than two helpings a day of canned food. I had to beg and plead for dry food. I'm an emotional eater. When I don't get my way I eat to feel better. When I don't get my catnip when I smell it I need to fill the void with excess calories. The vet says I need Atkins but I say bugger off! I like my emotional fixes. So I'm not so much of a fighter. I did get chased under the chair again. Fiona didn't want to play and KungPao didn't want me to bother Fiona so he chased me under the chair again. I hissed. Then I took a many hours long nap on the monkeys' bed. I heard something about waking up with a mouth full of fur but I can't see why they complain. They should just hack it up like I do on the only carpet in the house. I received quite a bit of attention today. I got my favorite under the chin rub and ear scratch. Now I think I will go curl up in a chair and nap for another many hours until I see that everyone is asleep and perhaps open that shiny bag with the nip in it. I know it's there for me!!!