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Snaffle's Snuffling

Being a Good Boy

Sometimes being the Spawn of Satan gets tiring and you just have to be a Good Boy.

Girl Human (who I am grudgingly accepting as Mummy, although I'm still more fond of Daddy) told Daddy that "if I spoke, I'd have the voice of Stewie Griffin". I do hope this Griffin character is a well-educated criminal mastermind, or it's not a fair comparison at ALL.

Anyway, this weekend I took a break from scheming and had a relaxing couple of days. Due to the horrible weather, the Humans were trapped inside with me all day Saturday and most of Sunday, so I took full advantage, making them place Laser Pointer, Chewy Stuffed Squirrel, Jingling Nuttock on a String and Dangly Bird until they started to go slightly insane, although they seemed happy about me getting plenty of exercise.

Mummy was obviously quite pleased with me as she gave me half the roast chicken from her lunch and even a tiny piece of cheese from a sandwich. Needless to say I wolfed both down while I had the chance - I even licked her hands clean for her but then she went and doused them with water again! Silly woman.

In repayment for their attention, they each got a lengthy session of kneading and suckling (known in the household as Kitten Lovin') and I had a couple of naps on Mummy during the course of the afternoon. Later I wrapped myself in Daddy's jumper on the bed and had a proper snooze there in the peace and quiet.

It isn't as much fun during the week as they're at work but I have to say that they do give me masses of attention when they're home (just don't tell them I appreciate it - I can't seem to stop myself purring but they mustn't know I care!).

Muahahahahahahaha

My campaign to divide the Humans is working at last. Boy Human aims to keep me out of the bedroom at night, but Girl Human argues that since they work much of the day I could do with as much company when they're around as possible.

So, even though the evil wench brandished what looked like a sharpened pair of pliers at the tips of my claws yesterday, I repayed her loyalty by joining them in bed, purring extremely loudly and giving them lots of excellent kitten love.

At 2am.

Muahahahahahahaha!

But why has the ball gone?

Girl Human has been very busy and away from the house a lot this weekend. Something to do with hens, or parties or something. Girl and Boy Human keep talking about this special thing that's happening in December when I'll need to be fed and looked after by Girl Human's mum. (She's nice - she fed me and looked after me on the day when my last human dropped me off and this lot picked me up).

The Humans were congratulating themselves on having got me to pee and poo in my box again so I thought I'd play a little trick or two. I sneaked into the bathroom while Girl Human was in there and before she could stop me I peed behind the toilet. Her response was to whisk me up and put me in the litter tray. Erm, excuse me, but if I'd wanted to go there, I'd have gone there! She just said "Why couldn't you at least go IN the toilet, Snaffle?" I skipped away smirking. I've done it again since then. Boy Human's job is to clean it all up.

He's not very happy with me because I was overexcited and played too much with his hands, leaving him covered in scratches. See, they SAY hands aren't toys, but they move so nicely! And I'd been playing with my ball-on-a-string all morning until I got overexcited and started panting. Now I'm only allowed 5-10 minutes with it and they take it away and give me my teddy, so I can chew him instead of their hands and feet.

Girl Human got quite frustrated with me at times, but she's had cats before and she knows that it's best to ignore me when I'm being grumpy. So she just let me sleep on the big bed all afternoon.

I get butter and cuddles when I'm a good boy but it's just so much darn fun to be naughty! Even if I DO get spritzed with the Evil Water Bottle when I get too cheeky...