Happy Birthday!

Happy 3rd Birthday my Angel! It is a beautiful day with plenty of sunshine where you and Buster rest. I just got in from putting flowers on your grave -- I hope you like them:) I still think about you every day...I miss you so much. I try to smile when I think about you, but I haven't gotten to that point yet:(

I hope that you and Buster are having a great time at the Rainbow Bridge. You were such a perfect pair, everything I could ever ask for. I can't wait to see you both again someday.....

Love,
mommy

Angel Wings

Wow, check out my new wings! My new friend here at the bridge,Wyatt James, was so kind to ask me if I'd like some wings to go along with my new Angel status. He told me he had some connections who could hook me up, and voila, a few days later, I had these beautiful white feathers attached to my back. Not only can I fly with these cool things, they also work as the softest blankets for my daily beauty rests. I still dream about mommy holding me...and I know mommy dreams about me too. Now I can't wait for her to dream about me with my pretty new wings. Just when she thought I couldn't possibly get any more beautiful....

THANK YOU so much Willow & the Crew for giving me my beautiful wings! :-)

Love,
Angel Sophie

Happy Birthday my Angel!

My sweet, sweet Sophie...I am so sad that I cannot be with you to celebrate your 2nd birthday, but I wish you a very Happy Birthday! I truly hope that you are somewhere warm and safe, surrounded by loving friends. I hope that you've gotten to meet mommy's special friend, Dot. Knowing Dot, I'm sure she'll be able to make you feel safe...now that mommy can't do that for you.

Oh I miss you so much my sweet baby...I have never felt this kind of grief my whole life -- you were for sure my soul mate. My greatest wish is to be able to see and hold you again one day, Sophie.

I miss seeing you lay in your little "hammock"...you loved sleeping there. It was so heartwrenching to watch you not be able to get comfortable in any of your favorite spots your last week with me. I always picture you laying there though...nobody else lays there so it's full of your hair. I sometimes put my hand in there and imagine petting you. I hope that you can forgive me for that last day when you spent all day at the vet...mommy feels so guilty for that. I feel guilty for many things, and I know that's part of the grieving process...but I still ask for your forgiveness.

I miss your beautiful face so much. It was just perfect! And your little button nose...with the little brown spot on it. When you were a little kitten that spot was black, but it got lighter as you grew. Your orange markings on the other hand got more intense as you got older. I loved your orange coloring. And I just adored your black stripes coming from the inner corners of your eyes...that's why I called you my little cheetah girl. My husband would roll his eyes when I said you looked like a little cheetah:) Of course he never got the chance to get to know you the way I did. Remember that one time I tried handing you over to him, after having convinced him you were such a sweetiepie and you would not hurt him -- and then *bang*, you struck him with your paw! It was so funny...as little as you were you sure had a lot of power in your paws. Lillegutt got firsthand knowledge of that as soon as he stepped foot in your home. You and Lillegutt never seemed to like each other much, but I'm sure even he misses having you around.

Buster I know for sure misses you. He doesn't have anyone to clean the top of his head now. Nobody to attack. Funny how you didn't really seem to mind that much being attacked by Buster. He was your big brother and it was obvious to see how much you loved him. Buster is not in that great a shape these days, but he's still hanging in there.

I'm glad it's a gray, rainy day today. Every time the sun shines and the weather is warm enough to open the windows, I get so sad. It was still too cold for you to sit in the open windows when you left. I kept hoping you would experience that one last time. I sure hope you have a prime spot in the warm sun at the Bridge, where you can smell the gentle breeze.

I love you my sweet Angel. Please wait for me.


Love,

Mommy

I miss you so

Thank you so much to everyone who has sent such comforting pawmails, gifts, rosettes and stars! It truly warms my heart knowing you have had and still have my sweet angel in your thoughts and prayers. May you and your fur babies all have long and blessed lives.

It has now been 4 days without you, my dear Sophie. I miss you more than words can describe. Every morning I wake up and realize you're not going to come and greet me. While Buster and Lillegutt are doing their best to comfort me, it's just not the same without your loving hugs. Nobody gives hugs like you, Sophie. I'm sure your brother, Buster, misses you as well. He has been extra cuddly the last few days -- he even purrs a bit when I hold him (he hates being held). Maybe he knows how much I miss holding you, so he lets me pretend it's you that I'm holding. Buster is still a bit on the skinny side. I really hope he gets to live a lot longer..although this leukemia is obviously a cruel, cruel disease, especially to the young ones.

When I got you home on Saturday, I said my final goodbye to you. You looked so peaceful, no longer having to struggle for each breath. I buried you with your favorite toys -- the brown piece of a teddy bear and your yellow ball. Now you'll be able to play soccer again, sweetheart. I hope you have lots of fun with all your new friends at the Bridge. Please know that I will never forget you, my love for you will never diminish...and I will try to focus on all the good times we had together. As I told you all the time, you are and always will be my favorite.

Love,
Mommy

At peace

From Sophie: Thank you so much for the gift, rosettes, stars and messages I received yesterday and today...it meant a lot to me to know you were praying and purring for me and it meant a lot to my mommy to know there are kitties and people who could relate to what she was going through. To all the other rainbow kitties: my name's Sophie and I'd love some new friends to show me around:))

From Sophie's mom: Unfortunately the vet did not manage to drain any more fluid from Sophie's chest today. I saw her x-ray and she had very little space left for her lungs -- the chest cavity was filled with tumors and trapped fluid. I did not expect to have to say goodbye to my baby today, but since there was no relief for her, and seeing that her breathing was very labored yesterday and this morning, I knew it was time.

Sophie, you would have been 2 years 4/1-09...I'm so sorry you didn't get to live longer sweetheart. I'm crying my heart out as I'm typing this because you were truly the most special friend I've ever had the privilege to know. I will forever miss you and you will always have the most special place in my heart -- hopefully I'll get to see you again one day....

My baby's sick

The last 2 weeks or so Sophie's been sick. Her chest cavity is filling up with tumors and fluid -- a result of the leukemia. That has made it difficult for her to breathe. I took her to the vet 1/17 to have the fluids drained and when I picked her up 1/19 her breathing was less labored. But more importantly her spirit was improved and she purred, drank water and ate..something she hadn't done in almost a week. I have never seen her so happy before and she was walking around the house with her tail straight up sharpening her claws on all the furniture. I know my baby girl won't be around much longer but I hate to see her miss a day that she may enjoy. Therefore, I have decided to have the fluid build-up (breathing more labored today, but not as bad as a week ago) drained again tomorrow and we'll just have to take one day at a time. Today has been a seemingly uncomfortable day for Sophie, but yesterday she was basking in the sun all day. I definitely don't want my dearest girl to suffer so when I no longer think she's happy to be alive, I will help her cross the bridge.