Missing you Yenta

I miss your sweet hugs, your soulful gaze at me, your little kisses, your companionship, your quirky ways that made you so special....I miss you Yenta.

I still can't believe you're gone...

It's cold and rainy today and I sit and wonder if my boy is safe and warm. Then I realize he no longer has his physical body. It hurts me so much that I can no longer protect you, boy. I can only hope and pray that there is definitely an afterlife and you are safe and warm there. Love, mommy

I miss you boy

It's been 2 weeks since you're gone boy, and I miss you so much. I don't know what I'll do without you. I just got your ashes back from the vet. I put them next to Leos. Thank you for the messages you sent me after you passed...I know your still with me in spirit. I love you.

Good-Bye my darling boy

On the 18th I made the most difficult decision of my life, to have Yenta put to sleep. He was suffering and his quality of life was no longer good. He started having more symptoms and didn't leave my bed, didn't want to eat or drink. Perhaps he would have gotten a bit better for a couple of days, but then the tumor would grow again. I couldn't put him through this anymore as i could see how miserable he was. I had a strong feeling he was telling me he wanted to leave. I know he was torn like I was because of the love we have for each other, which is probably why he stuck it out a longer time then the vets thought he would. Our vet came to the house and felt I was making the right decision and thankfully Yenta had his final moments in his home with his mom and dad. I miss him so much, but I know he was so ill and suffering and couldn't function or be himself. There are alot of mixed feelings of guilt, confusion, grief, sadness and relief that there is no more pain for him.

Yenta was 100% devoted to me. He travelled all over with me and even had to be in quarantine for 6 months in England. He never held a grudge and was always affectionate and loving no matter what. I remember visiting my 2 cats in the quarantine kennel 3 times a week for 6 months. I would seat on a beach chair reading a book while Yenta sat on my lap purring and giving me kisses. My other cat Leo was quite annoyed about being there and gave me the cold shoulder until his release. I remember when we lived in a small apartment in Manhatten and when I would leave for work I would hear Yenta's meows, not wanting me to leave and I felt so bad. I moved so many times in my adult life. I got Yenta when I was 26 years old, (I'm now 41) and Yenta has moved with me 12 times, 2 of which required long flights. He and my other boy Leo travelled around the world with me. Leo passed in 2001 and I hope that Yenta and Leo have been reunited and are happy. Several friends have said to me, "Boy, that cat really loves you", when witnessing Yenta's affection towards me. He was definitely a one person cat, not really interested in anyone else. That made our bond even stronger. I have had some difficult times in my life and have relied on the love of my cats to get me through....I want to thank you Yenta for being a wonderful companion, friend and darling boy. I was so blessed to have you in my life. You loved me unconditionally when no one else did. I will miss you forever...until we meet again...With love and gratitude, Your Mommy.

Difficult Day

Today Yenta is having a hard day. His tumor has grown large and the poor boy must be very uncomfortable. The chemo medication I am giving him now is called Endoxana which is supposed to be given every 10 days because it is very powerful. About 2 months ago I asked the oncologist if I can give it to him more frequently because the tumor grows so fast. He said I can give it to him every 8 days, but no more frequent than that because it can cause organ failure. So what happens is, after he takes the Endoxana pill (which I have to wear latex gloves to give him) the tumor begins to shrink. It will shrink for the 4 days after I give him the pill, and he feels alot better. Then the next 4 days it begins to grow again at an alarming rate. Right now we are on the 7th day after the pill and that is why the tumor is very large. It takes over half his face forcing his eye to close and stretching his skin so much he has lost alot of hair on his face and it's red and irritated. I just feel so bad for him. He still has a good appetite and goes out for a couple of minutes in the backyard. I watch him to monitor how he's doing and it's been an emotional rollercoaster. I have been ill myself and it's been really rough.

We added a new kitten to our house last week. He has his own little room away from Yenta. He is a british shorthair named Zachary. I got him as a companion for Emily (our 4 year old Himalyan). I think so far Emily seems intrigued by Zachary. Zachary is a very sweet kitten. I feel guilty for getting him, but I know my emotions are out of control at the moment.......

Lymphoma

I'm worried now that Yenta's cancer is just too aggressive for his treatment. His face is distorted from the mass growing in his nose and now into his eye and head. This is so difficult watching my boy get sick nearing the end of his life. Have you ever had your cat just lay on your chest and want to be so close to you? Yenta wants to do this constantly almost as if he knows he doesn't have much time left with me and wants to be as close as possible all the time. I've never had a pet love me so much.....

Yenta's Progress

A new medication was added to Yenta's after surgery routine. It is called Leukeran and he takes a pill every other day. He is also taking Neo Mercazole twice a day and Prednisolone twice a day. Luckily giving him pills has become much easier for me. I'm getting more confident and I think Yenta expects the pills now and is more cooperative. I try to make it a pleasant experience by petting him first and kissing his head which he loves. Sometimes I will give him a treat right after the pills. It's definitely easier giving a pill to an elderly, slow moving cat rather than a young, fast cat like Emily, my other cat.

Yenta Returns Home after Surgery

We picked Yenta up from the animal hospital yesterday where he had the bulk of his tumor removed. They were going to keep him longer but they said he was getting upset and not taking his pills. He's doing alot better, obviously breathing much better and purring, so we're very happy about that. Now in addtion to his hyperthyroid medication he is taking Prednisolone as chemotherapy. So I am giving Yenta four pills a day. Unfortunately it seems he hates the taste of the new pills and shakes his head violently when I stick the pill in his mouth, so this will be a challenge.

We will talk to the Vet in a couple of days to see what the next course of action is in Yenta's treatment.

Yenta has Cancer

In March of this year Yenta started having Flu-like symptoms including sneezing profuse amounts of yellow discharge from nose and swelling under his eye, and he was treated for flu by our vet with antibiotics. His symptoms didn't get better and after a few weeks blood began coming out of his nose and eye. So they did some tests and said he has a bad bacterial infection and started treating him with More Powerful antibiotic daily injections. After about 3 weeks of those, Yenta's swelling became more pronounced and he developed a very loud wheeze in his nose. His breathing became more labored. Then suddenly he wouldn't eat. So I went to the vet, saying this is an emergency he seems to be deteriorating. So he referred us to an Oncologist and we took Yenta for a biopsy and endoscopy. We now know that Yenta has Lymphoma (sp) and yesterday he had the bulk of it removed and today he is starting chemotherapy.

It is expensive, but I feel I made the right decision. The surgeon said even at his age it was worth doing as he could have at the most another 6 months to live a reasonably good quality of life. I feel I owe my loving boy that....

I will update when I get Yenta back home in a couple of days.

Yenta would appreciate your good wishes!

Yenta has some problems today

Today Yenta had a bad case of diarrhea. I was upstairs brushing Emily on the bed and Yenta jumps on the bed with us and his tail was coated in the stuff. Yuck. Poor cat. Yenta tends to roll his tail downwards so of course it was in the direct line of his poo. I think this may be a side effect of the medication I'm giving him. I'll have to call the vet on Monday to find out.

Cleaning him was quite a challenge because he hates to be brushed or groomed in any way and hates having his tail touched. Of course he left a yucky trail around the house too. He seems to be feeling better now. I knew something was up when he hid in the closet and wouldn't come out even when I opened the back door to the garden (normally he would come running to go outside).