How To Train Your Human...

Meowlo fur furiends! My furiend Maggie posted a poem today that I just couldn't help but like. I like it so much, I am going to post it in my Diary today. Here it is:


Training your human is a thankless task.
"Why bother with it?", some kittens may ask.
The fate of the world is the issue at hand,
as felines worldwide stake a claim for their land.
Make no bones about it, we cats own the joint.
We spray in the corners to drive home the point.

Some say the meek shall inherit the Earth,
But they've no fangs or claws, for what that's worth.
The cat is the ultimate species, you see,
We're poised to usurp man's authority.
These silly old humans who cannot play nice!
We cats are peaceful, we hate only mice.

Just what does training your human entail?
A host of fun things you must do without fail:
The sofas and rugs need a little makeover.
The La-Z-Boy's target for kitty takeover.
Then sleep on clean towels placed in the guest bath.
And make their best clothing a target of wrath.

Tear down those new drapes with a quick forceful tug.
Then tatter the pile of the new Berber rug.
And when they are sleeping, you block off their nose,
paw at their lower lip, chew on their toes.
Strut on the mantle. If they give any flack,
knock down their trophies and all bric-a-brac.

Shed on mom's new velvet black evening gown,
as she's headed out for a night on the town.
If they leave you home all alone for the night,
(Any human doing this can't be all that bright),
They're telling you by leaving, it's perfectly all right,
To totally redecorate 'til dawn's early light.
Knock over tables and chew up the fern.
Hurry, go faster! Soon, they'll return...

When they try to punish, you mustn't show concern.
(All attempts of discipline a pussycat should spurn.)
A snide flick of tail will convey no remorse,
but they will try harder to scold you, of course!
So, hide in the closet until they forget,
and then launch out just like an F-14 jet.

Tear up their ankle, their forearm, their hand,
then when they've had all the pain they can stand,
dart from the room while they call 9-1-1,
and celebrate victory: The felines have won!
To humans, however, the battle's begun,
as they steep in their anger and wish for a gun.

Pathetic and lumbering and clumsy to boot,
My friend, human dominance is really a hoot.
Take charge in your home. It's destiny, meow.
(The verses above have already told how.)
So sleep for an hour, and then grab some chow,
And then train your human, beginning right now.

...Author Unknown

I just LOVE this poem! Isn't it a crack up?!

Love and Purrs,

Laura Belle

Daily Diary Pick!

Hello fur furiends! You're nefur going to guess what I just found out...I am a Daily Diary Pick today...fur the second time dis week! I was picked on Caturday October 22nd, and again today! I am ofur the moon! THANK YOU DIARY GAL! I am SO honored to be chosen fur this!

You wanna know something else? Someone that we are furry close to has been honored today by being chosen as Catster's Cat Of The Day...ETHAN! We were ofurjoyed to see his smiling face on the Community Page this morning! He is Louis Le Beau's brofur, and my sisfur Ruby is dating Louis. We think the world of Ethan and his furmily. ConCATulations Ethan! You deserve it!

So you see, today is a furry special day. Not one, but TWO really neat things have happened today. I am a DDP, and Ethan is COTD. Thank you Catster!

Happy Purrs,

Laura Belle

Thank mew Catster!

Hello fur furiends! I don't know about you, but I am LOVING this mild weather of Autumn! This weather has made me happier than normal.

Meowmy has been on Cloud Nine today. Catster did something yesterday that made her extremely happy. I have even caught her humming to herself a couple of times today!

Fur almost two months now, Meowmy has been unable to receive any e-mails from Catster. This means that she hasn't been made aware of when someone has posted in one of our groups, she hasn't received any furiendship requests, no e-mails telling her when we had received a Rosette, and no invitations to join a new group. During this time my siblings Ruby, E.J., and Blue II had been chosen as DOTD's and DDP's, and she had nefur been notified of their honors. Meowmy's ISP said that Catster was using SPAM-like wording in their URL, and that is why her ISP had forbade Catster from sending her any more e-mails. They suggested that Catster change this so Meowmy could start receiving e-mails again. After weeks of follow up by Meowmy, Catster finally fixed the purroblem yesterday afternoon. Now Meowmy can post a reply to ofur Catster members when they post in a group, she can receive furiendship requests, and Rosette notifications. Meowmy is on Cloud Nine now that she can keep abreast of all the happenings around Catster...THANK YOU WATCH CAT!!! YOU ARE THE BESTEST KITTY IN THE WORLD!

Thank mew Catster! It is great to be pawt of the Catster Community again!!!

Happy Purrs,

Laura Belle

What was THAT?!?!?!?

Normally, things around our house are purrty quiet. My sisfur, brofurs, and I like it dat way. We do NOT like loud noises. We live out in the country, and we rarely ever get visitors. In fact, just the sound of a purrson knocking on the front door will send all of us racing down the hall towards my pawrents bedroom in search of a purrlace to hide. I guess you might call us all "scaredy cats."

Last weekend was supposed to be a good weathered weekend...not furry hot, but just mildly warm, and there was only a minimal chance fur rain occuring.

It was on Caturday that I was scared nearly to death. It was exactly 4:30 p.m. Daddy was home watching a ball game on the television...Meowmy was on the catputer in the back bedroom...my siblings were scattered around the living room on various furniture, and I was sound asleep on my favorite couch. Did I mention that I was sound asleep? All of a sudden, there was such a loud "CRACK" sound that permeated the air around me, that I immediately woke up! As soon as the CRACKing sound stopped, the sound of large hail balls came crashing down on our metal roof. It was deafening. When the CRACKing, CRASHing sound occured it literally shook the whole house, and it became furry bright outside. Now, being three years old, I have heard thunder before, but this was like the sound of a tree crashing through the roof of your ofurwise "peaceful" home! As soon as I woke up, I joined my brofur and sisfur who were already in the hall racing toward the bedroom. Daisy veered to the right, and ended up in the hall bathroom behind the sink. Blue II was ahead of me racing down the hallway, but we both arrived in the bedroom at about the same time. I immediately took the only hiding spot in the room; I hid under the bed. Meowmy came out of the third bedroom shaking her head...she had seen Blue II and I speed by her, and frankly, she was amazed at our sheer speed and determination. Meowmy tried coaxing me out from underneath the bed, but I wouldn't budge. She told me that the lightning had hit furry close to the house because the lightning and the thunder happened at exactly the same time, and the house shook mightily. There was no consoling me, I was NOT coming out from my hiding spot! Daisy and Blue II eventually ventured back out to the living room when they worked up their courage. My brofur E.J. nefur did run when the thunder clapped. He jumped up from a sound sleep, and his eyes got bigger, but he nefur did run like the rest of us did. He definitely has nerves of steel! Meowmy and Daddy tried coaxing me back to the living room with efurrybody else. They tried sweetly calling my name, they tried treats, and they tried enticing me with toys, but I did not budge.

Finally, after one hour and fifty minutes, I cautiously ventured out from underneath the bed, and tip toed down the hall to see if the house was still there. Efurrything was right where it was before the big BOOM, and I was relieved. I hope I nefur have to wake up from a peaceful slumber to a noise like that again! I swear, if I weren't already a grey kitty, I would be totally grey after that! MOL! MOL! You can call me;

Scared Spitless,

Laura Belle

I am Cat Of The Day!

My meowmy just got the most fancatstic news: I have the privledge of being Catster's Cat Of The Day fur Monday, March 14, 2011. I am the furst of Meowmy's kitties to win this high honor. We have been on Catster fur ofur five years, and I am the furst to win COTD. Meowmy went to the homepage and saw my picture there. She was bursting with pride! THANK YOU CATSTER!! I am so furry honored by this...I'm so happy that I am going to go take a nap. This is too much excitement!

Purrs and Hugs,

Belle

Intruders!

Hello efurryone...I have a scawee story to tell all of you. I was scared senseless when it happened!

Last Thursday Meowmy and Daddy had to go to town to pick up Miss Evelyn's medicine from the Pharmacy. They were only gone fur about an hour. Me an Daisy an Blue II an EJ were all lounging around, just minding our own business, when all of the sudden some robbers broke into our house. We were all so scared of the burglars, that we ran down the hallway and hid. We could hear all kinds of loud noises going on as they went through our pawrents things. We waz scared out of our minds! They took ALL of Meowmy's jewelry. They were yelling back and forth at each ofur while dey were in different rooms...dey waz so NOISY! Dey waz tellin' each ofur what to take. Then the cavalry arrived...Meowmy and Daddy drove into the driveway, and the thieves hurried out of de house leaving some of the loot on the front room couch. Dey also left the front door wide open! The Police said dat our pawrents interrupted de robbers, or dey would have stolen more of our stuff. Mr. Policeman said that he knows the robbers waz interrupted and almost caught by our pawrents, or else one of us kitties would have gotten out the open door and gone outside. The front door couldn't have been left open fur furry long, or else some of us would have gone outside and run away. When Meowmy saw the door wide open, she knew we had been robbed. Her furst concern was in finding us kitties, and at furst she couldn't find any of us...so Mommy waz cryin'. After dey found us, Meowmy was so happy dat we was okay...and so was Daddy! Dey loved on us fur a long, long time dat night, an dey told us how much dey loved us. Us kitties are so HAPPY that de thieves are long gone...we don't want our pawrents to efur leave us home alone again!

Scared Silly,

Belle

Helping Meowmy...

Dear Diary,

Now that I am two years old, Ima big help to Meowmy. I help her with all kinds of things around the house. Just ask her, she'll tell ya how indispensable I am!

This morning I helped Meowmy "sort" the laundry. She "sorts" the clothes into great big piles on the floor according to what color dey are. This is where I come in...as Meowmy stands next to the Clothes Hamper she throws the article of clothing and it lands in one of the six piles of clothes on the floor. Der is a pile fur reds, fur blacks, fur blues, fur tans, and one fur whites. Der is also one fur towels and sheets. I "chase" each article of clothing to its propurr colored pile. Meowmy swears dat I am double checking to make sure dat she is putting the right color in each pile. This is great fun fur me...I just lurve chasing de clothes across de room!

Yep, Ima big girl now, doing big girl things wif Meowmy!

The Big Helper,

Belle

The Halloween Tag Game...

I hab ben tagged by Pippin in de Halloween Tag Game! I am to name five favorite things I have about Halloween, and chose six friends to tag:

1. I like to watch the squirrels from the window hiding their nuts for
Winter.

2. I like the smell of rain.

3. Since it gets dark early, I get extra snuggle time wif Meowmy.

4. I like to watch Dad carve the punkin'.

5. My pawrents give us all extra treats fur Howloween!


I am tagging:

JoJo
Chai
Mitzi's Sweet Harmony
Angel
Lisa
Tiramisu

Getting Spayed A Second Time...

That's rite fur furiends...Ai had to get spayed a second time! Ai originally got spayed in December 2008. Mom couldn't beleeve her ears whey Ai started yowling like a banshee. Yep, Ai was in heat! She had nefur herd of a kitty needing to be spayed a second time, so she asked arownd. Sooks sed dat sumtimes de Vet leaves a little bit of Ovarian tissue behind when he is doing de surgeree. Dis can coz de kitty to go thru heat cycles, but she can't get pregnant during dis time. Mama Sooks sed dat Ai wood have to have anofur surgeree to remove what tissue had been missed de furst time, den Ai wood be rite as rain.

Well, Meowmy called de Vet and splaned watt had ben happenin. He sed dat he wood do de surgeree, but Ai had to be "in heat" win he did it. De reezon fur dis iz dat de ovarian tssue is swollen win Ai am in heat, and it will be eezier fur de Vet to see.

De Vet did my surgeree yesterday an efurrything went well. He fownd the tissue dat had been causing all my trubls. Ai gotz to come home today about noon. Ai have been resting on mai favorite pillo doing sum major snoozing. Boy, am ai glad dat dis iz behind me...mai tummy hurts! Ai nefur want to have dis surgeree agin!

Lady Laura Belle

Ai Miss Meowmy & Dad...

Hai der fur furiends! Howz it goin? Ai ama happy gurl now, but last week was a reel bummer. Meowmy and Daddy left awl of us kids here at home while dey went to da big city to have Daddy's surgeree on his shoulder. Oh sure, dey had Auntie Shelly come by and feed and water us, but it wasn't de same. Der waz no one heer to meow wif us. Der waz no one heer to purrlay wif us. Der waz no one heer to pet us and stroke us and brush us....WHERE WERE DEY?

Yes, it waz a furry sad week. Meowmy and Daddy were in da big city while we were left here at home awl alone.

Daddy's surgeree went well, so the Doctor let him come home. He isn't spozed to use his arm fur free months. Meowmy will be his eggstra arm now. She'll do da things dat Daddy cat do by himself.

Ai waz de furst kitty to de door when dey came home. Hai Meowmy! Hai Daddy! Ai missed you! I meowed. Dey were furry happy to see awl of us too. Ai am so glad dat dey camed home, and Daddy is awl right. Ai hope dat dey nefur leeve us awl alone like dat again....

Hugz and Purrz,

Laura Belle