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This Could Work to My Advantage

Humoring the Parents

Greetings and Salutations!

Have I ever mentioned that all but my front teeth have been pulled? I haven't told my family how that happened, but they speculate I ate a LOT of wet food in my lifetime. When my mom ran out of my dry food last Friday, she fed me the free sample of Science Diet Advanced Protection we got on our last vet visit. Thank goodness it was the little chunks instead of the fat chunks of Hairball Control I usually get -- so mercifully easy to eat with no teeth; I just gobbled it up! That got the point across, so now I don't have to eat the fat chunks anymore. Who needs Hairball Control anyway? Yakking 'em up should be a part of every cat's life, in my opinion.

When she was at Petco buying new food, Mom saw a flyer for a Pet Halloween Costume contest. Yes, that's me reaping the consequences in that stupid pirate outfit. I was a good boy, though, and just sat on the floor letting her dress me in baby clothing with a fake parrot glued to the sleeve. Sometimes you have to humor the folks -- think of the comparatively little joy in their lives. No lounging around all day or chasing string? *shudder*

The highlight of the weekend was definitely when I snuck into "Daddy's Work Clothes Closet" where I'm "Not Allowed To Be." I slept in there a good half an hour before they found me. Ahhh, black socks in bunches under your body -- it's like shiatsu massage.

Over and Out!

Sumo

The Latest from the Toy Boy

Hello, Feline Friends.

Our Michigan weather is getting colder, so the temperature wars have started at our house -- my mom is always too hot, my dad is always too cold. I'm the innocent kitty caught in the crossfire. As a cat, I obviously love to be warm, but my XXL layer of "insulation" keeps me pretty cozy without the heat turned up anyway. Plus I've been breakin' a sweat chasing my mouse (which my mom accidentally kicked under the stove yesterday and can't get out), chasing my red featherduster on a stick, chasing my gray string (and eating it when unsupervised, heh heh), and running away from my mom (then coming back to make sure she chases me again). Yes, my parents finally discovered that I'm a toy boy!! Trust me, that kind of workout is WAY more fun than my mom's "The Firm" videos.

I also have been hanging out in my cat carrier (with the door open, of course), sleeping in the laptop case, and making a lot of small talk. A guy's got to keep himself busy somehow when it's too cold for Jungle Exploration and Dirt Baths. Yesterday I got to sit in the wet clothes in the dryer -- tres cool.

mmfn (meow-meow for now),

Sumi

Blinders Keepers

Geez, I was only home for a week when my grandma came to visit me and brought my cousin Chaucer. My mom was so excited to have us handsome guys together, seeing as how we both had such a great reputation around other cats. Well, I was sorry to let her down, but it had to be done. I'd just gotten to this great furrever home; there was no way in hell I was sharing. I growled my fat guts out, and we had to be separated by a big screen wedged into the hallway. A couple times the screen fell on top of me, and what did I get for waiting patiently underneath it? The "cognitive impairment" label whispered behind my back again!

I could tell my Dad was proud of me for defending our territory, though. My REAL cousins are two boxer dogs back in Turkey, and Dad is used to scratching their stomachs all the time, so he does it to me, too (because I'm his first cat ever). I let him, because I'm a guy's guy, you know?

So the few times that I got to be in the same room as Chaucer without any barrier, it became pretty evident to my family that I can't see very well. Everyone had always thought my crossed eyes were cute -- the vet even called me "striking." But when I couldn't find my cousin if he didn't move, or if my grandma stood in front of him, they finally got the picture. My mom said they should get me little coke-bottle kitty goggles. Yeah, right, guys -- I didn't need to SEE the other cat to know he wasn't welcome (nothing personal, Chauc).

But Grandma gave me all kinds of presents, like a kitty bed and catnip and my toy mouse. FINALLY they left, and I purred for an entire day.

Hey, next time I'll tell you about my diet. Big is Beautiful!

Sumo