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My Diary of Mischief and Madness! By Pixie Ninja Kitt

Wed 9th June. Pix has still not returned... Written my Mummy- Steph

June 9th 2010 3:40 pm
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So here I am 1 week and a day since I last saw my baby girl Pix. Just to be clear she is not a child substitute. I'm not even sure if I want kid's yet at 29yrs old. It's just with having Pix since 7 weeks old and first seeing her at 5 weeks I feel like she felt I was her adopted mummy. She licked me all the time, that was her thing; with her sister Firefly it is kneading but Pix liked the salty taste of my skin maybe? I miss her rough tongue obsessively on my arm that even annoyed me sometimes with the roughness of it. I knew she was loving me up though. I miss her twinkling eyes of yellow squinting at me in a awe like, loving way, like I was her world at that exact moment and of course she was also mine. I miss her little chirps at me and how if I chirped to her she'd chirp back and we'd talk to one another like that. How I'd look out into the back yard from upstairs and she'd see me and start chirping and moving closer before jumping on the fence to try and get as near to the window as she could but she couldn't quite get there so she jump down and run so very fast through the cat flap and upstairs to greet me and I'd scoop her up and she'd give me a nose kiss and a cuddle. I miss her lounging lazily with me on my sofa watching the big light box. {Firefly must sense I'm thinking of PIx as she's just jumped in front of the laptop screen and is kneading the blanket stopping me from writing, bless] ... I miss Pix's soft tortie brown and cappuccino stomach with flashes of auburn and rubbing her up and down while she just lay there with her legs flopped haphazardly apart in the most trusting way, completely unguarded. I miss how she loved it when I throw part of a blanket over her and she'd tunnel inside to hide, she love to hide in covers. Sometimes if the blanket fell onto the floor and I was on my laptop, she'd crawl inside on the floor and lay in there. I miss when she'd sneak in our bedroom last thing and she'd hide seemingly innocent under a desk until i'd got in bed and then jump in the middle of us and lay out like a long sausage dog before turning on her back and laying like a human. It would annoy me after a while as I need my space and i'd inevitably scoop her up and take her to her cat bed. She then wake me up at 4-5 in the morning with a pawing un clawed at the pine door to my room, shuffle shuffle shuffle it went and repeated like that with a mewing until I gave in and got up to let her outside and fill her bowl with bic's (she would only eat bic's). I miss how she decided the cola cola glass on my boyf's bedside table was her glass and she'd every so often go and lap at the water for ages! She loved drinking her water. I miss her following me around the house and watching me doing the housework like I was teaching her how to do it. I miss getting out our car after work and her running up to us out of the bushes chirping with her tail in the air mewing, so glad to see us and hungry for tea. I miss just scooping her up and most recently, her making a shelf on my arms and curling up and licking my forearm as I walked around the house with her. I miss her in the car travelling to the vets or to stay with her grandma when we needed to go on holiday and her mews of worry and how I would calm her and say " nearly there Pic, nearly there baby girl, and give her a mew every now and again in reply to her mews. I miss seeing her in the window as I came home laying in her cat bed which is now empty. I miss her purr and her twitching while she had her kitty dreams. She made me feel so much love when I was with her and I felt like she was there for me when I was down, which recently has been a lot. She was possessive though and would give Pie (Firefly) the evil eye if she came in the living room when she was in her domain on the sofa. Pie would often retreat and go off upstairs. Now Pie is here with me on the sofa and doesn't seem to be too traumatised by Pix not being here. She has taken on many of her roles and comes to me when I call. Now I've out a bell and collar on, which she lets me put on and take off quite willingly, I hear her jingle when I call and I know she's safe and coming home. Pie loves to play and has so much energy to get rid of. She's lost her tag team partner though against the Tom cats in the neighbourhood now. I feel for her strongly in that way. I miss them being a tag team and seeing them in rare moments playing with their toys and almost getting on. I think i'm done with the 'missings' just for now but what with going round to my next door neighbour who is a young 20yr old and her being completely unfriendly and lacking in humour and also when I asked 'did she not like cats?' she said abruptly 'no... I like birds' I now have it in my stupid head that Pix has been poisoned or 'taken care of in some way' The bin men came the day after Pix disappeared, she could have been put in a bag and got rid of inconspicuously and all our campaigning could have been in vain. This is the worst sort of pain. It is a kick in the stomach an a lurch too, a feeling of absence that you can't fill up. A longing for my missing Pix, not knowing if she's still alive or if she dies painfully, or if she's scared somewhere surviving god knows how, or if in the best way, she has been taken in my someone nice who just doesn't realise for some reason that she has a loving home. She had a little belly on her and a gloriously healthy coat. She is microchipped and spayed. At 9 days, I'm starting to feel like hope is fading. I read hopeful stories every day online at work to get me through. Nothing holds any weight for me now. I just feel empty and so down. Thank god for Pie trying her best to comfort me. Bless her little white socks! :( x


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