May 29th 2008 6:44 am
Dear Diary:
Mommy was going thru some boxes this morning to find something she wanted to send to Simba's mommy. She came across this and thought I might like to put it in my diary since I thought it was pretty funny.....Here goes....
Excerpts from a cat's diary:
Dat 683 of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dreams of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decaptitated a mouse and dropped it's headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condiescending comments about what a "good little hunter " I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitairy confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my captors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow~but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privilages. He is regularly released ~ and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be the informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.....for now.....
Hope ya'll enjoyed it as much as I did. I especially liked the part about vomiting on the floor and trying to assassinate him at the top of the stairs!
Gotta run. Mommy needs to get ready for work and she is my typist. I've tried to do it myself but all I seem to get is njdwkdwjf;sce3ufjp!
Have a purrific day!
Tao
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