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I am much cuter than Patchez

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August 2nd 2007 9:10 pm
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Last Friday, July 27th, I fell asleep on Grammie's bed and when I woke up, I was walking across a beautiful bridge. All of the sudden I heard a familiar voice yelling "Yoo Hoo! Buffy! Rwwwwoooowwaaarrrrrr!" And my first thought was "Mon Dieu! It's my brother Navin! How on earth...." And then I realized, I was at The Rainbow Bridge! Now I hadn't been ill or anything like that. I'd lost some weight and on my last day on earth, I was lethargic. But I was not expecting this anytime soon.
Needless to say, Navin was overjoyed to see me. He took advantage of the fact that he had wings and I did not yet and proceeded to do a "flump" (his signature move....a fly-by-hump). I immediately squeaked at him and whacked him with my paw. But I have to admit. I was happy to see him. He looks so handsome and his wings and tail are absolutely amazing. He is still a clumsy oaf and he truly does look like a sand-filled pear when he flies, but there is something very dignified about him now.
I miss my mommy. Navin has assured me that we will continue to see her. He will take me for a ride with him and Hendrix in their limo and we will all visit Mommy in her dreams. Hendrix by the way, is a very important dude. You should see how responsible he is. He always looks as though he solving the world's problems with his pursed Buddy lips and his wide green eyes. I am glad that my brothers are here with me. I hope that Mommy knows we are all ok.
By the way, I do have my wings now. Thanks to my own personal angel Smudge. And I have commandeered Navin's cloud #9. It is perfect for basking and it really sets off my lovely fur. So go away Navin. I am sunning my belly.

The Slayer


Clumsy Oaf

September 26th 2006 8:20 pm
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Memo for Navin (because you obviously didn't get it the first 500 times!).

Dear Navin,

I know I am very beautiful and desirable. I know I have a lovely singing voice. I know that my petite frame is tres charming. But please, please stop with the "romantic" overtures. I am not appreciative of your witty attempts to tackle and (ugh) snuggle me. First of all, you weigh about as much as a baby hippo (according to Jonas' estimation) and secondly, (how do I say this positively?), you are quite stinky.
I know you consider yourself to be the reinging lothario of the house and at times you can be somewhat appealing (especially when freshly bathed), but I do not like to be tackled. I am delicate like a flower. Your girth knocks the wind right out of me! Mon Dieu! What a clumsy Oaf!

The Slayer


I’m just not that into you

November 7th 2005 4:11 pm
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Quelle Horror! Imagine my alarm when I became aware of Navin harboring amorous feelings towards me! I realize that younger “men” going with older “women” is all the rage these days, but Navin is so not my type! This could make things quite weird especially seeing as we are “flat-mates” during the day while Mommy and Daddy are gone. So far, he has acted quite respectably towards me. It appears that to date, Patchez has been the only unwilling recipient of his amorous overtures.
His (pardon the expression) puppy love towards me should be nipped in the bud and I will have to tell him sooner or later “I’m just not that into you.”
Wish me luck? I don’t want to break the poor misguided little fool’s heart. 

The Cutest


Eau de Navin

August 24th 2005 1:31 pm
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So this babysitting gig is working out pretty well for me. I get to sleep next to Mommy’s beautiful clothes and there are many pretty things in the closet and bathroom…..not to mention that there is an enormous mirror in a gilt frame. How I love to sit on the sink and admire my image. I am tres magnfico.
So yesterday I was sound asleep and having a delightful dream about myself and being beautiful and cute. In my dream, I was dancing on a pink cloud and singing show tunes for Mommy.

Imagine my disgust and disdain at being awakened by an awful overpowering odor! Quelle Horror! I managed to open one eye (which immediately began watering in response to the foulness in the air) and looked across the room. There he was sleeping sound as can be. He lay on his side and snored away, looking ridiculous with his fat belly and tiny tuft of hair on his back end where a tail would be. As I shot him looks that certainly would have sent him crying to Mommy (had he been awake), I heard an unbelievable noise coming from his nether regions. It was quite loud and it sounded like this: SQUUUUUEEEEEEEKKKKKKK……PPPPPPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTT. I swear I saw his “tuft” fluttering as if in a breeze and then…………..Mon Dieu!!!!!! The smell! The smell! I burrowed even deeper into the closet and closed my eyes until the room cleared. When I finally ventured out to take a look at Navin Le’ Stinkpot, I was amazed and annoyed to see he hadn’t even woken up! There he lay in the same position. Sound asleep and completely oblivious to the fact that he’d just farted the paint off the walls.
Mommy and I need to discuss some form of compensation. The rights to the kitten and canned food just isn’t cutting it!

The Cutest


Baby sitting

August 17th 2005 2:40 pm
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So as the cutest and most responsible one of my siblings, I have been put in charge of babysitting Navin when Mommy is at work. I don’t mind. He is pretty low maintenance, but he sure is stinky! Mon Dieu! Le Peau!!!! I have selected a nice soft bed for myself which he cannot reach because he is a silly rabbit. That way, I can get extra beauty sleep and yet am still able to survey the situation at a moment’s notice.
What is bonus about this assignment is I get to share his baby food. I’m a cat possessing exquisite taste and the baby food is quite delicious. One problem though is that the air conditioner unit is not accessible to me while I am baby sitting. This means I cannot lounge about on top of it all day (like I normally would) while the zesty cold air blows all my fur skyward. One of these days, I would like to see a picture of myself on the air conditioner. I’ll bet with all my fur blowing, I look tres chic. Like one of those supermodels.
In the meantime, I will have to content myself with my evening mirror-gazing ritual. What a splendid looking girl I am! Last nite, Mommy caught me kissing my reflection. If she was as beautiful as I, she would understand!

The Cutest


The Great Adventure of Mommy and Me

June 20th 2005 2:49 pm
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I would like to reiterate that Mommy obviously loves me the best. She had a week long trip for work and did she take Elvis, Patchez, Jonas, Jimi or Sue? Non! She took Moi! I knew something special was up when she took me in early to get my haircut. I am very lion-like now. I am Buffy. Hear me roar.
So the hotel we stayed in was pink. There were lots of crystal chandeliers and fancy furnishings. I found all of this to be quite acceptable. For 5 wonderful days, I had Mommy all to myself. We spent lots of time together. She took me for rides in the car and introduced me to people who worked at the hotel (no doubt they were employed strictly to ensure my comfort). Every nite, I slept in bed with Mommy. She brought my feather stick and my laser pointer. She also bought me a new mouse which I played with endlessly.
The morning that we left, Mommy got a shiny gold conveyance which she said was a luggage cart and placed me in my bed along with some of the bags and pushed me regally down the hall and out to the suburban. People stopped to bid me adieu and I accepted their farewell greetings gracefully. I think it is not often that such an important cat such as myself deigns to stay at their lovely hotel… palatial as it might be. So I felt that I treated them to a real taste of class. Not to mention that my hair cut accentuates my natural zestiness, ultimately making me even more irresistible than I normally am!

The Cutest


Mommy song

April 22nd 2005 12:37 pm
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Well, now that Daddy has discovered my secret, I guess it's time to tell the world.....I have a lovely singing voice and I compose my own songs.
The other nite, Mommy worked late and I was in the bedroom with Daddy and thought he was asleep. So when I heard Mommy drive up, I began singing my Mommy song: It goes a little something like this:

Ahem! MI MI MI MI! (got to warm up the vocal cords)
E-R-E-R, A-a-a-a..........BREEEEEEK!
It then builds into a passionate crescendo:

Note: it is important to simultaneously perform the "bouncing on the bed dance of joy". A well-made bed is very desirable to get the right effect, but being a classically-trained dancer, I am able to cope with most bedding catastrophes
without missing a beat.

Loosely translated, here are the lyrics to the song:

Mommy's Home! Hurray! Mommy's Home! Hurray!
Now it is time to pet, eat and play!
Welcome Home Mommy! (I know, it's simple, yet effective).

So, Mommy walked into the room right as I'd finished my song and Daddy said "I can always tell when you're home. Buffy starts making those weird noises."
MON DIEU! The man is a cultural wasteland! Sometimes I wonder what Mommy and he have in common?

The Cutest


Vous me comprenez ?

April 15th 2005 11:07 am
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I am wondering why I’ve been getting so much guff from my siblings for talking funny? It’s true that my language sounds different from theirs and perhaps it is alarming for them when I really get vocal (this only happens when I’m playing pretend games by myself). When I get really excited, I become quite chatty. It does make me feel friendless and isolated that my vocabulary is so different from theirs. For instance, when Patchez says “Mow, Mow?”, my version would be “EEE err AAA, EE err”. And when Sue says “RERRRRRRR”, my version would be “EEE, EEE, RRR, EEE!” So there is definitely a language barrier!  Mommy says maybe I speak a version of Kitty French? Oui! Oui!

The Cutest


Christmas tree!

November 29th 2004 12:33 pm
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This weekend was very exciting. There is a Christmas tree in the house and I have plans to break a few of the ornaments and blame it on Patchez.
The tree is lovely and irresistible (much like myself), with it's lights and tinsel. I like it better than last year's tree. It is not as big and it smells better.

Mommy told me that soon we will go out and look at ho ho lights!

Also, Auntie Marcella came to see me this weekend and we all went for a car drive (Mommy and Daddy are hoping she will like this area and move here....I think she would move here just so that she can see me!). I got to wear my little ski sweater and sit in Auntie Marcella's lap. Then I got tired and took a nap in the back of the Suburban.

It's good to be me.

The Cutest


Silly Patchez

October 11th 2004 12:53 pm
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It was a very good weekend. There was a fire in the fireplace all weekend and Elvis and I played and basked in the heat.
The best part of the weekend though was when Patchez got caught with her paws and rear end full of red paint. Then she got a bath and boy! Did she cry like a baby!
Well, that would never happen to me because I am much cuter than Patchez (did I mention that?) and that qualifies me for a permanent no-bath pass!

Buffy the Cutest

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