I am a mean, vicious Boy named Sue

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Missing my Sue Sue

October 27th 2008 3:22 pm
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Sue went to the Bridge on October 4th. It was very sudden and the vet thought he had some kind of liver cancer. He was so sick and it was time. I was at the vet with the girls and it was so hard. I kissed him and told him what a good boy he was and how much I was going to miss him.
His Aunties Jeannie and Dez came over and they prepared a resting place for him. Sue was laid to rest with a piece of his fuzzy blanket, some catnip and aquariyums. I can't believe he is gone and I can't believe how much I miss him. I have to keep telling myself that he is safe and happy and he is reunited with his beloved Hendrix.
Sue, you were loved so much. I hope you know that.

 

A kinder, gentler Monkey

September 26th 2006 8:11 pm
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Now that I am an older and wiser 5 years of age, I have found myself becoming more tolerant and accepting of people, places and things that would normally send me into a hissy fit. For instance, I have learned to live with Daddy's bumbling attempts at snuggling and his overtures of affection.
I let Auntie Penny pet me before she gives me a sweet sweet Aquariyum. I allow Mommy to kiss me goodnite and bury her face in my lion-like ruff. This is progress! Trust me! I have issues!
I am also pleased to report that with the changing season, Jonas and I have found more time for brotherly love. It's not romantic! I swear! Jimi and I have been playing throughout the day. I think he's weird for wearing dresses and I've been meaning to have a talk with him regarding his clothing decisions, but aside from that, he's very special to me.
I miss Hendrix every day. I like to look out the window at his grave. Daddy put a large sculpture of a lion out there which is fitting and I felt a deeper sense of appreciation for Daddy after he did that. I know Hendrix comes to visit us all the time. I can feel him and I dream about him too. I know that he is happy and safe and healthy again. But I miss him so much! Mommy says we'll see him again someday. This makes me feel better. I'm a very sensitive boy. Mommy is always respectful of my fragility and handles me with lots of care. I love her. (Just don't tell her that!)

A Boy Named Sue

 

I’m too sexy for this shirt

November 7th 2005 2:09 pm
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What was Mommy thinking!?! I was sleeping soundly. Dreaming of global domination and rivers of sweet, sweet aquariyums. Suddenly, I felt something being tugged over my head and down over my shoulders. Mommy had put Jimi’s Harley Davidson t-shirt on me! What part of “I am a mean, nasty Boy Named Sue” does she not understand? Besides the fact that it was WAY too snug for my battle-honed frame (Everybody knows I’m training to be a Cage Fighter), the waistline was not at all flattering to my body style. It nipped me in the waist in such a way that with my bouffant winter pants, it gave the illusion of me wearing a skirt! Now for Mr. Lean, Takes-After-His-Uncle-J, Jimi, it’s quite becoming (not that I would notice such a thing!). But for a ferocious orange fellow such as myself, it was just a major fashion no-no. I am WAY too sexy for that shirt!

Sue
The Stealthy

 

I need a new source

October 19th 2005 2:54 pm
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It seems my Aquariyums source has dried up. Daddy and Mommy have gone into hoarding mode. The other nite they tried to slip me some inferior treats. I woofed and hissed and they got the message that it is unacceptable. Daddy must be feeling desperate for my love because he keeps trying to get me to come to him for these low quality imposters.
My winter pants are growing back in. Mommy was commenting on their bushy lushness. With the cooler weather, Jonas and I have settled back into our “brother time” routine. You don’t have to look far to find us curled up together and holding each other. Daddy says we’re making out. He will never understand that there are deeper things to feel than just cheap, gratuitious, kitty love. His loss.
As long as I maintain my air of elusive and dangerous mystery and he finds a more willing victim to be kissed on and cuddled (bleah!), then the happier I am.

Sue
The Stealthy

 

Get me to an “Aquariyum-aholic Anonymous” meeting!

July 19th 2005 4:28 pm
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Daddy used to say that NOTHING would ever sweeten me up, but then he discovered my Achilles heel. Now I do tricks for those sweet sweet aquariyums. I will sit up perfectly straight on my haunches and won’t even try to swat them out of Daddy’s hand. I will give kisses to him and Auntie Penny, not really minding if there is an aquariyum to take from them or not.

This is not to say that I have lost all of my natural contrariness. I still howl and hiss when Uncle Michael loves on me (although I secretly like it) and I have removed most all of my fur and have gone into “summer pants” mode. I have of course left my bountiful tail. See my tail and fear me!

I’ve been so obsessed with getting those sweet sweet aquariyums that I’d neglected my plans for household (and then global) domination. Jimi has forgotten most of his minion training, but now there is a new potential minion in the house. Navin is quite funny looking and the fact that he has no tail automatically means that I will always rank high above him, but he is strong for his size and quite wily. Yes, I do believe I see great minion potential in him. I will have to find a way to persuade him to the “dark side”. Mwua A ha ha!!!!!

Sue
The Stealthy

 

The downward spiral continues

April 18th 2005 12:28 pm
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I am so ashamed. Mommy added a picture of me taking an Aquariyum from daddy's lips. I have heard that all addicts need to hit bottom before they can get better.......please, let this be my bottom! Because I can't imagine anything worse than letting Daddy's lips touch my mine! Uuuuughghgh!

How I loathe that man!

Sue
The Stealthy

 

Open letter of apology to Uncle Michael

March 29th 2005 12:52 pm
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Dear Uncle Michael,

I am so sorry and ashamed of myself for going all ninja on your hand. I know that you are my biggest fan and if you were small enough, you would have great minion-potential. But I am just proud to call you my uncle.

I don't know what made me do it. As you were holding me, I started thinking about how much Daddy had humiliated me by making me take Aquariyums from between his lips and I can't believe I would pimp myself out like that just for a tasty, yummy, scrumptious treat.

Also, I would like to add that Jimi was laughing and making faces at me while I was begging for treats (oh the shame!) This made me very angry and humiliated. But it was no excuse to take it out on your hand. I am an addict. I need help. I cannot resist these sweet, sweet Aquariyums.

I hope you will accept my humble and heartfelt apology.

Sue
The Stealthy

 

Daddy's Diabolical Plan

March 21st 2005 11:27 am
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I am pleased to report that lately, Daddy has been not tormenting me with overtures of affection and impudent attempts at cuddling.
Today however, I have reason to believe that he has a horrible, diabolical plan for “improving our relationship.” This plan involves something I find very hard to resist—Aquariayums. He shakes the little bottle and before I’ve even thought about it, I run to him and sit up on my haunches and take the little fish-shaped morsels out of his fingers. I do try to maintain my dignity by woofing softly while I take the treats from him, but there is no getting around the fact that this is an extremely humiliating situation I’ve found myself in.
I love Aquariyums so much, that it is impossible for me to resist. Oh, those sweet, sweet Aquariyums!
Daddy will pay for allowing me to become addicted to them to the point that I will actually eat from his hand.
How I loathe that man!

Sue the Stealthy

 

A bird in the garage!

December 6th 2004 3:06 pm
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So today, Jimi was sleeping (by the way, his minion-training is coming along quite nicely), I snuck out into the garage. Mommy kept coming out and trying to coax me inside with food. Ha! she'll have to do better than that!
So I slunk around and hid under the pool table and thought grouchy thoughts and then I remembered how fun the rafters were! So up I went and discovered to my joy, that the crawl space was still open!
It is very interesting up there and I found all kinds of bugs and could hear everything going on in the house thru the ceiling. I snuck all the way to the very back of the crawl space and found to my utter delight, a bird nest with birds in residence! One flew out into the yard and the other went flapping past me back down thru the crawl space. I chased and chased the bird out onto the rafters.
At that point, Mommy came out there to try her hand at coaxing me in again. She gave a gasp of surprise when she saw the bird and starting saying "Sue! You leave that bird alone! You're a very bad boy!" I of course payed no attention. I continued to stalk and chase the bird, chattering at it in bird-speak....I was very beguiling and reassuring to the bird and I'm sure it would have come right to me.....if Mommy hadn't opened the garage door and let it fly out.
So I lashed my tail at Mommy and stayed up in the rafters. I began to get hungry and nobody was coming to get me. I was thinking of the bird and how yummy it would have been and feeling very sad and alone. I began to cry for Mommy to get me down and let me in. I'm sorry to say I made quite a fool of myself.
Finally she opened the door and I bolted inside and found Jimi who listened in wonder to my story of stealthy bravery and daring. Now Jimi tries to get out to the garage every chance he gets!
He's such a good little minion.

Sue the stealthy

 

Making Jimi my minion

November 28th 2004 6:05 pm
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So far, operation "be nice to Jimi" has been a huge success. Mommy makes a big deal when she catches me grooming him or sleeping with him and gives me a treat. Except for this morning (when Daddy held me in bed and snuggled me until I hissed), Daddy has been doing better as far as respecting my personal space.
Jimi is getting bigger every day. I am glad that I've already laid the groundwork for making him my minion. If I'd waited, it might have been harder. Really, it is much more beneficial for me to have developed this "relationship" with him while he is still smaller than me.

Sue the Stealthy

 
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