Goodbye dear friend xxxxx

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December 29th 2011 9:27 am
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Today I had to make the hardest decision ever but looking at Al lying on my lap looking a shadow of his former self and yellow and struggling for breath I knew it was for the best. He had liver failure and multiple tumours and had deteroriated really fast over Christmas. We just thought he was off his food because he was stressed, we have been having a lot of work done to the house, but it turned out to be far more serious. Initially he went to the vet on the 23rd because he wasn't eating and seemed really withdrawn, in that examination the vet couldn't find anything but said he presented a fever and had a sore throat so gave him some antibiotics and an anti inflammatory. He seemed to pick up that evening and finally ate something. We were told on that vet visit to phone back after Xmas to tell them how he was. We were sure we were going to tell her that he'd got better and the phone call was going to be arbitary.. We were so wrong. After a couple more days of not eating he was feeling very bony and would not jump on our laps or really do anything. I booked him in for another examination and took him in, a paranoid part of my mind told me I would not be coming back with him but I told myself not to be so silly.. The vet said his condition had deteroriated and his liver felt enlarged and he would have to have loads of tests. So I left him there and went home and read up on liver disease, upset at the thought he was so sick but expecting to be able to nurse him back to health. When I got the phone call telling me it was bad news I thought initially "Oh dear I'll have to give him meds and force feed him etc" but the rest of the sentence was "There's nothing that can be done for him". It was so unexpected. When I took him in I joked about being so worried I'd be coming out with an empty box and she smiled and I said I was just being silly. Little did I know that would really be happening.
Last night we carried him upstairs and he slept on my pillow by my head the way he used to. We thought he'd get well and jump up there again of his own accord. The cat I had on my lap in the nurses room looked so different to the cat who had been sleeping on my pillow and sitting in the window watching the world go by. I knew I had to sign the form so he could finally rest in peace with no pain or suffering. In a way, the decision was easy, he looked so dreadful.