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The Way to Cuddle

Sometimes, I see my sister Jessamine sitting next to our human, resting her head lightly on the human's lap, and purring softly.

That is WEAK. My sister does not know how to cuddle at all. I am the cuddling champion. Let me tell you how it is done.

The secret to a really good cuddle is to imagine that you are covered nose to tail in green slime, and that you want to rub it all off onto your human.

So, what you do is jump into your human's lap when she is sitting down. The lap is the ideal place for a cuddle.

Then, you flatten yourself belly down onto your human and start squirming. Imagine that the slime on your belly is being transferred onto your human's lap.

It is important that you purr loudly while you do this, because this encourages your human to pet you, thereby removing even more slime.

Then, you stand up and lean your side into your human's chest. Press down with your feet to lean harder. Then, turn around and press your other side into your human. Remember to keep purring!

Now flop down sideways onto your human's lap and start rolling. Shimmy about while you roll.

Remember to rub your cheeks against your human's hand whenever you have a chance. Also, feel free to stand up on your back legs and rub your head against your human's chin.

Repeat the above steps as long as you can. If you get tired, you can flop over and lay still. But, keep purring -- your human will pet you and remove more imaginary slime. Let her do all the work for a bit.

There. This is the way to cuddle. I try to explain this to Jessamine, but she doesn't listen. I guess that is why I am the cuddle master and she is just a wannabe.