June 25th 2006 1:42 pm
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I am now officially a movie star! You can check out my debut on YouTube. :)
March 31st 2006 12:59 pm
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Hello, Mouse here. A couple of weeks ago my human interviewed me for this "Six Cat Thing" meme that she was doing and as a result I have decided to also post my answers here. So, here are six things that I like to do:
1. I would have to say that my favorite thing to do is to drink water directly from the bathroom sink. I have been known to sit in the sink for hours until someone finally turns on the faucet so that I can get a drink.
2. I like to consider myself the “Queen Bitch” of our household and pretend that I merely tolerate the others that live here. However, when I am sure no one is watching, sometimes I play with Harley.
3. I like to help my humans with whatever they are doing whenever possible. I especially like to weave myself through my human's legs when she is cooking in the hopes that she will give me a treat of human food.
4. When I am displeased about something I like to smack. I smack people (ask the vet), but my favorite thing to smack is Scooter.
5. With my long hair it is a necessity that I am brushed regularly and I like to be brushed… But only when I am in the mood!
6. For some reason my human is mean and won’t let me go outside. Therefore when the windows are open I love to sit in them and press my nose against the screen and breathe in all of those interesting smells.
I am sure interesting, aren't I? :)
May 6th 2005 12:40 pm
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I am lodging an official notice of protest concerning the injustice inflicted upon me today.
I am a healthy feline. I may only weigh seven pounds on a "fat" day, be approaching 13 years, and, because I am long-haired, occasionally regurgitate a hairball, but that by no means gives my servant (she calls herself my "Mama," but she is nothing more than a servant to me) the right to pack me up into that glorified purse and take me to see that evil woman that smells like 100 other animals and pokes me with sharp objects. Since I am not ill, I do not believe under any circumstances that these visits to that voodoo doctor benefit me in any way, shape, or form.
I was immediately suspicious this morning when my pillow (I believe my human servant refers to him as "husband"... whatever that means!) brought that traveling contraption into the living room. That contraption can only mean two things: We are going to visit that nasty woman that my pillow refers to as "mother" or we are going to see the voodoo doctor. Either way, it puts me in a bad mood.
Because I assumed we were going to be doing one of these things which I do not like, I decided I might as well start out by being contrary. The places that I can find to hide and fit my fuzzy body into are amazing! I was snickering under my breath as I heard my servant cursing me while she rushed around the apartment looking for me. Apparently we were running late and I was making things difficult. Heh! Things were going according to plan...
Unfortunately for me, my servant is much bigger than I am, more intelligent than I give her credit for, and not afraid of me or my attitude. Along with the riff-raff (aka Scooter and Harley) I was packed up into the glorified purse and put into the belly of that metallic beast. A short while later we stopped and I immediately knew we were at the voodoo doctor's.
When my servant removed me from the bag, placed me on that cold metallic table, and the voodoo doctor approached me, I let out my most fearsome growl. The voodoo doctor chuckled at me, called me "Kampfkatze," and told her assistant the story of last spring when I smacked her so hard with my declawed front paw that I left a bruise.
I felt that I was being patronized and since the assistant looked young and naïve I decided to give them all a dose of my attitude. I began to roar like a tiger, smacked them a bit, and even tried to bite.
My servant would have none of that though and I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was trying to be authoritative. I sunk my back claws into her arm and tried to get away, but she had me by the scruff of my neck. By this time the evil voodoo doctor had looked into my eyes and ears and was getting ready to take my temperature. As soon as she lifted my tail, I lost control. I knew what was going to happen next and so I leaped from the table and even sunk my teeth into my servant's arm. I typically don't do that, but they weren't putting that thermometer where "the sun don't shine!" What an insult to my dignity! Hmmph!
But, to add insult to injury they then tried to wrap me in a towel. Ha ha! I was too slippery for them though and got away. However, by then the voodoo doctor and my servant had reached the limits of their patience. The evil doctor came after me with a fishing net! Once I was in there I couldn't get away. And so while I continued to growl and hiss at the injustice of being netted like fish, they poked me with one of those sharp objects that makes your skin burn. With one final hiss I was dumped back into the traveling contraption and was made to wait while the other riff-raff was subjected to the same exploitation.
I think I had sufficiently frightened Harley (that 'fraidy cat!) because she wasn't very cooperative with the voodoo doctor either. But oh, how I hate that damned Scooter! He was good and the voodoo doctor was cooing over what a sweet natured boy he was. Bah!
Oh well, I got my revenge. I threw up a hairball on my servant's lap on the way home.
--Signed this 6th day of May 2005 by Mouse H. T. Cat
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