I've done it! At last!

Ladies and gentlemen, personal attendants of every size and shape, I am pleased to announce that I have achieved one of my lifelong goals.

I now outweigh the Czar!!! Yes! I have surpassed his royal girthiness!

I have yet to achieve his windowsill sag factor, though. But someday... sometime...

Dare to dream!!!

Come on, people... now there's even more of me to love! Hubba hubba!!!

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