September 24th 2007 11:13 am
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Well everyone, there are some things you just don't see coming and can't do anything to stop. I haven't eaten on my own since I was at the vet Thursday and I keep my jaw clamped shut when they try to force feed me. As much as they'd like to be able to force feed me and keep me alive until the cancer progresses too far I just won't let them get in more than a fourth of what I need to gain back my weight and live comfortably, so right now it's just leaving me to slowly starve to death.
I remember King Rambo in his final days... He was a little worse than I am now but he died on his own the Sunday before he was going to be euthanased on Monday and I think he would have been happier if they'd gotten him in on Friday or Saturday. It does not feel very dignified and royal to hardly be able to walk and I would be much happier if I could let go and have some peace and let my family start the healing... Tonight I'll go to the vet one last time and I won't be coming back.
I hope that everyone can be happy for me. I tried to help. The foster kitten Dominic came up to me the other night and gently hugged me like uncle Jürgen did when I was his age and I purred with approval like I haven't done for another cat since Jürgen went missing. He really gets along with everyone, not quite like me, but that is better for the harmony of the household and I'll admit it. Besides being kind to the other cats he loves the people and is always comforting them and making them laugh; he'll definitely help their spirits heal. They really didn't want to keep him and have a whopping 15 cats but now I'm leaving and giving them permission to have him take my spot, and it seems like fate that up until now he hasn't managed to be adopted despite being so sweet and photogenic. (Now there is something he does take after me with!)
I don't think there will be another Queen when I'm gone. Morgan is the oldest but she only cares about ruling over Stormy's heart. Then my big half-sis Cricket but she's too anti-social to want to be a queen. Auntie Cali likes authority but she'd rather be the sheriff running in and breaking up fights than the Queen sitting pretty on her thrown with a look of disapproval. Little sis Heidi is just to shy and scared of things to take over as Queen anytime soon, and dear little Hillary just wants to get along and fly under the radar. I'm not worried for them though. King Uncle-Kyle does all the real work taking care of the cats in our Kingdom and I trust him to keep doing a great job.
Thank you to everyone who was pulling for me when we found out how sick I was; I hope it doesn't make you too sad that I won't make it. My name is Lucky because I survived so many things that could have easily killed me in my kittenhood so you'd all better be proud of how long I did manage to live. If you're feeling blue please watch my video with the sound on, it's been known to cheer people up! I'm leaving this world with my legacy of a fruitful reign, funny videos, hundreds of super cute pictures, and all sorts of special memories for my humans. I'm still the proud and stubborn little Taurus kitten I was born so I'll go "do it for myself!" and catch up with my sisters and all the other relatives who will be waiting for me. I'll see everyone I'm leaving behind eventually and I bet that when Cricket and I don't have earthly territory to fight over we'll get along like sisters really should. I'll be looking forward to that some day. Wish me "luck" in my new adventure!
All my love,
~ Queen Lucky the Lucky-Poosie ~
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