PAR-TAY!

Sorry I haven't written lately -- last month was my birthday month, and since I'm now 21 in cat years, I parked myself next to the keg and partied like it was 1999. Now it's Angel's turn to have a birthday month. She's 21 now, too, but she's a vegan and will not drink alcohol because of all the little grains that died to make it. Talk about a buzzkill.

The bi-otch is back

Mama went away for the weekend to a magical land called Charleston, so our "Uncle" came over to feed us and scoop our poop. He still thinks I'm adorable, so I can do whatever I want. Then that bitch mama came back and ruined everything -- she won't even let me take all the toilet paper off the roll! I hate mama!

This just in ...

I'm still handsome.

Memories

One 10-lb. bag of Purina indoor cat food: $10
One bag of Pounce cat treats: $4
Eating all the food in the bowl and then breaking into the cat treats so you can vomit all over the floor at 5 am: priceless

Hypnotized

Now that it's summer, there are more bugs than ever flying into the house -- which means more fun for me! Last night, I was hypnotized by a bug on the wall for at least an hour. I enlisted the dog to help me get it, but she just barked and scared it away. It's my mission to squash all bugs, and then maybe squash the dog, too.