Adam's Yowlings

ONE WEEK TODAY !

May 20th 2011 4:11 pm
[ View A Comments (13) ]

First off, I would like to THANK YOU for all the Gifts and Comments and Paw Mails and Group Comments. They REALLY MEAN A LOT to me right now. I try to read them and then I am crying again, but they help. KNOWING HOW MUCH You Guys LOVE ADAM & ME means so much to me right now. I now know “YOU GUYS” & “ MY GIRLS” will help me . Will help me through the darkest days for me.

I just came back visiting Adam, I go everyday and I go read to him out of my diary about our first 2 years. I am so THANKFUL I wrote that down. As I read this to Adam, I can’t believe I forgot about some things. When I read them I remember and I kind of smile. I can’t believe I forgot, I will NEVER FORGET anything again. It seems the end of each diary was me saying. Oh I JUST LOVE THIS LITTLE GUY or WE HAD SO MUCH FUN TODAY.

I just can’t believe you have been gone for a week now, this week has just flown by. I don’t know why I had to be there outside with you at 3:15, the time you left me. I just had to, I walk around like a zombie, as I sit at the computer at night, I keep looking down waiting for you to show up and look at me or jump on the keyboard and open the computer drawer, or open another window, you knew just what button to push to open them, my Computer Genius.

All this week, there has been this song that keeps playing in my mind. Harry Nilsson “Without You“. I put that song on your page today with some others. Those lyrics is what my heart is feeling right now.

No, I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

No, I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give any more
I can't live if living is without you
I can't give, I can't give any more

No, I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

I can't live if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give anymore
I can't live if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give anymore

I always heard of people dying of a broken heart, now I know how you can, because I am right now. I can’t eat, the first 3 days I did not eat anything at all except I did drink tea. The past week maybe I did get a roll and a piece of pie down. Your Maw Maw has been after me to eat, but I can’t it makes me sick and I just don’t want anything to eat. I know I need to eat, this is what you must have felt like, I feel that I am getting weak. I have to be strong for My Girls now. But, it seems like all my strength went when you did. One good thing , Miss Eve started to eat her Royal Canin SO for her Crystals, I KNOW you helped her. She ate it for two days, just a teaspoon, but today she ate just some of it not all. I think some how they know what today is. I know you are watching over her. Eve has a few more days to take her pills and then we will see if this is enough to eat to keep the crystals away.

I know my heart will never heal from this, I know you are out of pain and I can just see you so healthy and fat again running in the sun, smelling everything . Walking around with your tail in the air, so PROUD, my PROUD MAN CAT. I know you are much happier now, I know you didn’t want to leave me, I know you tried so hard to stay, just for me. But, I know you were sick and I didn’t want you to be in pain, I did not want you to hurt. Watching you die like that was the hardest thing I have ever done. I guess I had to see that, I guess it makes me stronger some how.

OUR LOVE will last FUREVER, I know you do too. Again, you sent me a sign. I saw that the other day when I came to talk to you. I walked up there and my heart just stopped. There in the dirt, I saw it. I know you sent that to me. In the dirt , I could not believe what I saw. I saw 2 hearts entwined, that is us, ENTWINED FUREVER . I know you sent that to me to let me know, we are still connected, even through death, we are connected. I took a picture and I will post it on your page. I know what I saw and yesterday when I went to see you, I still saw it and now I see a hole in one of them. I guess that heart is mine.

I know I need to do so much, I need to fix your page, I went the other day to put you in the groups with Little One, all the Rainbow Bridge Groups, but I could not . I need to make you some wings, I went the other night to find you some FINE WINGS, but I could not, all I can do is cry.

They keep telling me I have to get it together and keep going and stop crying and eat, but I can’t right now, that is just me. I know you know my heart and you know, when I LOVE, I LOVE with my whole heart and I just can’t turn it off. Your Maw Maw thinks I should start farming again on FB. I haven’t been on FB in a week. Maybe I should, maybe it might help and keep my mind busy. You and Eve and Me all have farms. I want you to have a fine farm, maybe I will work extra hard to make you a good farm.

I just can’t think right now, I am in a fog, it is so hard to type all your diaries. The tears are always flowing so hard when I do. It helps some to write down what I am feeling, but it is hard too. I go to sleep crying and wake up crying. The last thing I do every night is tell you Goodnight and the first one to tell Good morning to.

I still can’t believe you are gone, MY BABY BOY. I LOVE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, that is why MY HEART is breaking now, but it is all worth all that pain I am in because I met YOU and fell in LOVE WITH YOU! I would never want to take this PAIN away. I would go through all of this again if it meant I got to have you in my life and I got to be your mommy.

Why haven’t you come to see me, Why can’t I dream of you, when I finally get to sleep I PRAY I will dream of MY LOVE, but I don’t.

I found this poem, I thought of YOU, MY LOVE,


I Only Wanted You

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

Author Unknown

REST EASY NOW, MY LOVE, MOMMY WILL BE THERE ONE DAY.

If I know you on that day, you will be pushing everybody away to meet me first.
Our EYES will MEET each other like we did 12 years ago and we will run to one another. I will bend down and pick you up and I will look into THOSE EYES and you will purr and purr, then finally I can KISS my BABBOO LIPS once more that I have longed to kiss, I will hug and hug you and then we will walk in the meadow, side by side and run and chase butterflies again. Then You & Eve & Pudd & Puff & Pumpkin & Little One will all be together again. “THE GANG OF FURS” will be reunited once again, and, oh how they will sing. They will be “ THE HEAVENLY GANG OF FURS” then.

I am glad I am in so much pain now, because I KNOW what REAL LOVE IS, because my HEART is Breaking.

LOVE YOU SWEET BABY ADAM,

MOMMY

 
Purred by: Blizzard AKA The Catfather (Catster Member)

May 20th 2011 at 4:37 pm

Adams mommy, pawlease know that he's being cared for at the bridge by all the angels there. Daddy knows how hard it is, he didn't eat for a week after Patches left us. But a furriend reminded us, this parting is only temporary, and we will be togeather again. She also reminded daddy that he needed to eat, drink and sleep, so he could take care of his other furbabies here.
Purrs to you, and go give Eve, Puddin, Puff, and Pumpkin a hug.
Purred by: Natasha (Catster Member)

May 20th 2011 at 5:21 pm

Please take care of yourself. Adam brought you happiness and he is still watching over you. You have the others to take care. Time will help you just one day at a time. Adam is now your guardian angel and he may return in time....you never know.....
Purred by: Rex (Catster Member)

May 20th 2011 at 6:50 pm

We are purring for you in this sad time. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Love Rex
Purred by: Ingen (Catster Member)

May 20th 2011 at 7:39 pm

Ms. Christy,
PLEASE takes care of yerself. You don' he'ps Adam or yerself if you gets sick. Eve & Puddin & Puff & Pumpkin still need you.

Is furry hard fur you right now, but you gotsta takes care of yerself.
Purred by: Sally Maria (Mama's Angel) (Catster Member)

May 20th 2011 at 9:27 pm

Mommy Christy, our hearts ache for you and what you're going through. We know it hurts and you feel like you'll never get over it. I don't think our pawrents ever really get over losing us, they just get used to the pain always being there. Don't feel like you have to hurry up and stop grieving. You and Adam went through so much, you are entitled to your feelings of loss.

One thing though, please make sure you eat and take good care of yourself. Eve and the girls need you to be well and healthy and it would break Adam's heart to know that his leaving hurt you so bad that it's making you sick. You WILL be with your sweet mancat again one day, of that I have no doubt. I'm so glad you have your journal to read and remember all the little things from your first days together. What a wonderful treasure! One day those memories will bring a smile to your face and heart instead of tears to your eyes.

We are purring and purraying hard for all of you!

Love,
Sally Maria
Purred by: ♥ Jezebel RIP ♥ (Catster Member)

May 21st 2011 at 1:18 am

Sending lotsa purrs and big hugs.
Purred by: Tully (Catster Member)

May 21st 2011 at 7:10 am

Sending you lots of purrs and purrayers Christy. Please take care of yourself, your other fur babies need you to stay healthy. Keep writing in Adam's diary and expressing your grief, your Catster furiends are here for you.

Love, Tully and Mom
Purred by: Angel Soc Dreamboat #56 (Catster Member)

May 21st 2011 at 11:14 am

Please please try to eat and take care of yourself, we cant bare to think of all the pain you are going through but we realy do know what it feels like and i promise you faithfully that time does ease the heartache,Adam would want his lovely mommy to smile again and be happy and i promise you it will happen and when it does adam will be watching down on you cheering that his mommy can smile again, remeber when adam was sick and you were praying he would eat well thats what your family want of you.
we are praying for you and have you in our thoughts, we will always remeber Adam and love him dearly and of course we love you and all The gang Of Furrs
Take care, Much Love Soc xx
Purred by: Riley

May 21st 2011 at 3:10 pm

Adams Mommy, You need to eat and be strong for your girls. They need you and you need them. I know how difficult it is to loose a precious one and with time you'll heal.
We are purring and praying for you.

Hugs & Purrs
Riley
Purred by: Callie (Catster Member)

May 22nd 2011 at 12:57 pm

We're sending you so many purrs and thoughts of love and comfort to you during this difficult time.
Purred by: ♥PATCHES♥ (Catster Member)

May 22nd 2011 at 5:13 pm

HELLO MOMMY CHRISTY,

WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE ARE ALL STILL PRAYING FOR ALL OF YOU EVERY DAY. PLEASE EAT SO OUR MOMMY WONT WORRY ABOUT YOU SO MUCH. WE MISS ADAM, TOO. PLEASE GIVE THE GIRLS A BIG HUG FROM US AND THEIR AUNT LINDA.

LOVE,
PATCHES AND THE WILLIAMS FURS
Purred by: Platelicker ♥ DB#69 (Catster Member)

May 23rd 2011 at 9:43 am

Ms. Christy, sweet lady you must begin lovin' your life again 'cause our Adam would want you to be happy. You made him as happy as you possibly could. Let Adam, in his angel spirit, make you as happy has he possibly can. Let his presence in. He is around.

I know I will take care of my MamaCat when I leave 'cause she takes care of me now and it is pure love. Your writings have made her stop and think of how she would feel with me gone and her heavy heart makes her send so much love to your heart.

When you lay down close your eyes and just picture Adam lying next to you... I bet he will be and I bet you will sleep :)

Huggs,
Platelicker and MamaCat Deb
Purred by: Felix "Honey Angel" (Catster Member)

May 25th 2011 at 4:25 pm

Hi Christy, it's true your other kitties now really need you and you're right to be thinking about them now; and it's great to hear Eve is doing better!

Wow you saw in the dirt two hearts were entwined; yes I can believe that!

I hope your other kitties are all keeping you company overnight; keeping you warm and cozy, taking up the whole bed. I'm sure they want to, they all love to be so comfortable when sleeping, and they need to feel all your love. And you can all have a nice sleep together.

My Dad wanted me to come to him, in his dream. I have a few times but not very many. It is difficult to get away from the Bridge; but when I do make a tiny visit it is really memorable. Sometimes it's easy to visit in a dream if Dad is having a short nap! Wait a bit Christy, and Adam will come and visit in your dream.

Love Felix xo

 

Adam Dylan


 

Family Pets

Eve Layla
Puddin Keket
Puff Amenti
Pumpkin Sanura
Little One
(Love You
9/24/05)

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