Back Home, Safe and Sound

Dear Diary,

I was sent home last night! Thank God! It was scary over there...

Well, I never had a chance to tell Mam what to write for me. I was too preoccupied and worried about another techinician trying to poke and prod me yet another time. Luckily when the surgeon saw my x-rays, there did not appear to be any obstruction in my intestines. And, my bloodwork, they said, was terrific. It better have after how much they took from me. No one really knows what exactly was wrong with me, but all I know is that I am happy to be back home.

There were lots of sick doobs (pets) there, some in worse shape than me. I was scared and was pretty mean to all the doctors. I hope they will forgive me... I am usually very tender. I was just very scared and my stomach hurt a lot. It feels better now, but I still have to eat some bland prescription food for a few days. Oh well...

I also look like I got into a fight with a bad hair dresser. Each of my legs has shaved spots and my belly... ugh, my belly, they shaved off my cute white fur with polka dots! That's the worst part, aside from my sore legs from IVs and a catheter in my back leg. But, I guess the one good thing about my buzzed belly is that now not only do I get belly rubs, Mam and Pap have also been giving it kisses. : )

My human parents and I are so relieved I didn't need surgery afterall! I know lots of family and friends were praying for me and I think I experienced my own kitty miracle. Whatever made me sick is gone now! Thank you.

::stretch:: ::yawn:::

All this stress has made me sleepy dib.

Good night & sweet dib dreams,

Salem

Emergency Surgery

Dear Diary,

Uh oh... I think I ate something I shouldn't have. My stomach feels icky and I threw up all afternoon well into the morning. It is almot 5:00 am and Mam and Pap are putting on their shoes to take me to the ASPCA for an emergency visit. I am a little scared, so please keep me and my cat parents in your prayers and thoughts. I am brave, but I think they will be nervous for me.

Love and sandpaper kisses,

Salem Herman Newton Dib

PS. I told my mam to log in a few entries while I am at the dooble hospital to keep you all up-to-date. (dooble in my dib language means pet... one day I will post my dib dictionary or dibtionary.)

Dibbinating

Dear Diary,

Well, I never did get a brother or sister. It seems that Pap's allergies got so bad that even getting a Hepa man was not enough. And, can you believe it... an evil allergy doctor tried to convince Pap and Mam that they should put me up for adoption, but they both stood up to that 'ol dirty Gargamel!

So, Pap even got on Zyrtec for me. He still sounds a little sneezy, but I am just so thankful that my Mam and Pap are willing to go get everything they need to keep me. I love them very much.

Some things are different though, although I am not complaining because I understand that even though Pap cannot deep sniff me anymore, it is not because he does not want to or does not love me. He just cannot or he will not be able to breathe. At least, Mam can still sniff a dib.

We also had to get rid of some of the pillows I stationed on because I think they were too hairy. I thought they looked just fine. ::Shrug::

Oh, and the one thing I will say I do not like is when the water monster comes and tries to attack me and Mam. I am not sure when he started to visit exactly, but I am positive it has to do with Dr. Gargamel. Every couple months, a snake attaches to the kitchen sink and spits water and almond smelling goo at Mam and I. I overheard something about how the water monster actually helps Pap by getting rid of dander. I do not know... how can water help anything, but make me look like a possom. Ok, well, a handsome possom, if there ever could be...

Other than that, everything else seems normal. I get brushed more often for sure and they seem to sweep a whole lot more, but all in all things are well, even if I do have to be bathed here and there. Ewww...

I may not be able to have a brother or sister, but I now understand. Mam and Pap have been so dedicated to making it work and loving me that I do not mind being an only child anymore. More treats and body rubs for me!

If my Pap or Mam reads this, I love you!

List for SantaCat: I need a brother!

Dear Diary,

Boy, has it been a long time since I wrote to you! I suppose it is just in time for Christmas and jolly St. Nick!

Over the past few years I have noticed that every year around this time, humans send out Christmas lists to the North Pole and on the evening of the 24th, they put out a plate full of cookies and a glass of milk for some Santa guy, who then brings presents in the middle of the night. Well, I wondering why can't I do that?! I have a couple of things I really would like this year, too.

And so, I have decided to send a list to Santa, too, but since I am a little cat I will need my Mam and Pap to put some postage on it and send it to the North Pole. Mam is real excited about my participation and she said she would even send it FedEx Overnight all the way to the North Pole...since it is getting mighty close to the big day and we would not want me to get left out.

I have to admit, I have been analyzing this Santa character quite extensively lately and I have come to two conclusions. Not only do I believe Santa must be a cat because a guy this clever to sneak into a house while everyone is asleep must be a silent pawed cat, but I also think he must be a polydactyl cat. How else would he be able to deliver presents to all those children in the world in one night! Santa must have an extra set of paws.

Also, the only thing I would do differently, since we now know Santa is indeed a cat, would be to leave a plate full of Chicken Live-A-Littles and some chicken flavored Greenies instead of cookies on Christmas Eve! The glass of milk, however, is a swell idea. Cats love milk.

In any case, before I get all wrapped up in my theories on Santa and Christmas, and forget to share my list with you, I better show you my drafted list. I say drafted because you never know what I might add to it last minute before Mam brings it to FedEx (You think Santa would have an email address).

Drum roll please…although it is not very long; I am pretty happy with all I have, two parents that love me very much and a warm chair with a seat cushion dedicated to me.

1.) A Brother… (Ok, ok…or a sister). I really would like another dib in the house to play with when Mam and Pap are working, someone to cause trouble with and sing with at 5:00 AM, another dib to snuggle with when I am sleepy and Mam is not home to scoop me up and nap with me under the covers.

2.) A HEPA Air Filter, although I do not know what that is, but I do know it is some apparatus that my Pappy says we need before we get another cat in the house. If not, he will sneeze more.

3.) Oh, and if I do get a brother or sister from Santa, we might need a bigger chair and seat cushion to fit both of us.

That is it. That is all I am asking for this year. I know Mam and Pap want to get me a buddy, too. They are just waiting on that HEPA thing to arrive. :: Shrug :: The way I look at it, why not ask Santa for both, saves Mam and Pap some time that way.

Well, Happy Holidays!

I will let you know what happens next week.

Turkey Day

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. Oh Boy! Was it great! Pappy snooked me some of mammy's turkey. It was real tasty. I was purring so loud, you could hear me from across the room. Mammy got out a kick out of snorting piggy noises I was making because I was so excited each time Pappap handed me another piece of turkey. And, they did not give me crumby pieces either.They gave me real tasty white meat from the breast.

When I thought no one was watching, I tried to sneak some home made Tiramisu that our friend Monica made. I heard everybody talking about how good it was and thought they must have forgot to give me a piece. So I grabbed a plate and tried to serve myself. I got caught.

Mam said I could not have any because chocolate if dangerous for dibs and dogs.

Later on that night when mammy and pappy were cleaning up the table and carving the rest of the turkey. I stayed right underneath the table the whole time, just in case some turkey missed the plate or trashcan. I was their personal vacuum cleaner.

Besides the good food on Thanksgiving, I made sure to think of all the great things I have here and how thankful I am that I have a real tender pappy and mammy. They always take real good care of me, get me nice treats and toys. I am real thankful that at night I always have a warm spot reserved for me in bed and under the covers with them. Mammam and Pappap always tell me how much they love me and am thankful they are for me, so I hope they read this entry and see how much I am for them. I love my Pappy and Mammy.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Wintertime, Beef & Other Stuff

The weather is getting colder & the sun isn't out as much here in New York. It's a good thing I have a nice fur coat built into my body. My human pappy (the guy that feeds me beef) says that one day he will carpet the floors so that my shock absorbing feet won't be as cold. Right now, he has been kind enough to throw a bunch of pillows on the floor so I can lie down in comfort.

Yesterday he stepped on my foot. I'm not sure what he was saying because I don't understand english contrary to what he thinks BUT I'm pretty sure he was blaming me for running too close to him. This was not the case I was just playing traffic cop and making sure that he stopped into the kitchen to give me the beef. Since I have been living with him, he has never fed me beef.
I thought there was a cow shortage or something. I remember hearing on the news that the price of milk went up and maybe it's related somehow, but for whatever reason I haven't eaten beef in close to two years. I only eat my cookies and dry chicken as my primary diet.

Just this past sunday. I had a can of nice beef. it was a very nice and I can't stop thinking about it. As a wise guy, human pappy made very small meat balls out of my beef and that didn't work because he got distracted and the beef fell into the sink, and wouldn't you know it instead of just giving me what was left in the can - my pappy was so mad at himself he forgot to give me any beef at all.

No big deal. Right now I am on a diet. I have to lose 1.5 pounds the good thing is i have about 9 months to lose the weight.

The other day i found a wire on the floor and I was chewing it.

I miss my Uncle Jim. I miss him because he rubbed me the way I like.

Two days ago, I threw up because I ate too fast.

There is a rumor that there is a popcorn mouse under the kitchen sink,
but I have not seen it. I have been known to sleep on the job, so perhaps I missed the fella.

And, just to clarify the matter on understanding english. I do understand english in written form as when I sit on a newspaper or magazine. I can also write in english. I do understand english when watching American movies and I can read english via subtitles on foreign flicks. I don't understand English in conversation form when spoken directly to me. I have a mental block in that area, so if anyone wants to say something to me, the best bet is to write it down and leave the note next to my food bowl, and make sure you leave some beef in the bowl. Unopen cans of beef are kept in the closet above the mircowave. Once i learn to use the can opener, my human pappy won't have to do it for me.

The Veechies

Dear Diary,

My Uncle Jim and Aunt Veechie (pappy's brother and sister-in-law) are moving to Florida this Monday. Not only will my mammy and pappy miss them, I will miss them too.

I don't like traveling much; it makes me nervous, so I hope they don't forget about me and come to visit us in New York once in awhile. Last time I had to travel for a couple of days, our apartment was getting painted. I didn't sleep at night and I had to keep asking mammy where my food was again and again.

When Uncle Jim comes over, he always scoops me up as soon as he walks in and gives me a "jim hold." A "jim hold" is when I lie on my back up against his chest and stomach and look up at him (I would post a picture of this, but Pappy's camera broke). Since he is leaving very soon, I have been extra tender with him this past week, and napped on him. I will also miss when he gives me haircuts (that is what I like to call it when I get brushed). All in all, I have to really be in the mood to be brushed, but Jim always gives me a real nice do.

I am going to miss Aunt Veechie too. She always picks out winner movies to watch together or we just watch our favorite show on TV, What not to Wear. Aunt Veechie gave me this beautiful desk of hers that I have claimed as my own. That is where I write out my secret Tender Plan, draw out the blue prints, suntan and watch the pidgeons. I also keep a teeny photo of the Veeches on their wedding day in the drawer.

I sure am going to miss Aunt Veechie and Uncle Jim. I'll make sure my human parents send them pictures of me, so they don't forget about their nephew. Maybe they will adopt a hairy child too (cat-son or dog-son, I don't mind) so I can have a cousin, and we can be pen-dibs (pen-pals).

I love them a lot.

Grandmammy's Gift

Dear Diary,

Grandmammy (on pappy's side) gave me a new toy the other day. She handmade a yarn ball with some yarn hanging off at the end for me. I love my new toy. I love to kick it around and then chase the yarn that follows behind it. I pretend I am hunting down a wild intruder in our house.