March 18th 2014 2:38 am
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March 18 – VERY VERY Urly in da morning......
In the dim grey lite of a morning sky we see wat looks like a Sumwat Deeflaitid Phat Phuzzy White Weather balloonie flote-ing up towards Hevvin. It is BBBT! Waring her beanie with a now slowly-revolving propeller, she lazily flotes upwards, in great need of SLEEEP. Meenwhile in Hevvin…..
da Sekewrity Angel licks hir Green Lips wif her Green Tung, and while watching the monitors, suddinly sees this Apparishun on da bank of monitors. “BOY ARE YOO GONNA GET IT!!” Yells da hewj anjul, who suddinly sez “Well, WTH—NO, I’m not gonna do anything about dis miscreant. Even tho Easter is coming up soon and God knows what kinda stunt she iz gonna pull off then.” SUDDINLY!! HUUH!! HEWJ wirds appear on All da monitors – “ACK! Shuallee - NO, I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S GONNA DO!! Do us all a favor and just ignoar her for the next 33 days.” And….
So BBBT flotes lazily bakk to Hevvin, a bit nurvuss of corss, after her St Patty’s Day caper, and all she wants to do is EET and SLEEEP. Lukkily there iz a NEWCOMER (no green lips) at da Purrly Gates and s/he lets BBBT in with a “Well, hello how are you! (OMC, WHAT ARE you!!??)” SUDDINLY! Liddle hands GRAB BBBT and she is whisked into da KITCHIN!! What is going on!! Oh! It’s the liddle phat anjuls wif the tiny wings ….. and sirkulz under their eyes (they are da wuns hoo had left BBBT to her own devices at the St Pattys Day Parade in Mew York City, when they desided to go on an all nite bender in Times Square) AND…
they broughtid bakk a TAKE OUT bag of FOODIES for La BBBT!!! “Look wat we gottid for yoo!” they trill – as they open the bag and pull out a Strami Sammich, A Ripper in a bun from Coney Island, and….. a LIVERWURST SAMMIE from Cats DeliCATtessen, and Bon BOns- most of wish are given (at BBBT’s rekwest) to Miss Princess, Miss Mercy, PeeWee, PUddy and oh look-- A Treacle Cake for Sir Blade!!! BBBT is delite-id wif HER foodies! She makes Happy Eeting Noyzziz and devours everything, gratefully licking her chops and daintillee washing her faiss afterwards – and… dem liddle cherubs, hoo see dat BBBT iz getting VERY sleepy, pik her up (“OOOOF!”) and gently fly her bakk to her soft clowd beddie. LOL....WUN liddle boddle of Green Food coloring rolls out frum under it and wunna dem liddle anjuls grabs it and stikks it in hir pokkit.
Da Sekewritee Anjul has seen all dis on da monitors and smiiiles. “It was SO Boring UP here before she came!” sez da Anjul, hoo likks hir still-green lippsss wif hir still-green tung, pulls out a Strami Sammich from hir desk drawer (dem phat liddle anjuls dun bribed hir) and kicks back to enjoy a nice lunch. This episode ends sweetly as we hear BBBT gently snoooring, and St Pete, who is behind his very-soothing sports page, repeating a gentle mantra “The green will wash out. The green will wash out. The green will wash out…..” And …….
….a Liddle Voyss sez to da anjul watt pikkt up da bottle of green foodie coloring and stukk it in hir back pokkit: “Hey Phat liddle annjul— wy is yor butt tirning green?” And…”Oh Dat BEE BEE BEE TEE and her Imajinativ mischiff - haha….Wat will she do next??? I can’t wate till EESTUR……”!!
March 17th 2014 12:29 pm
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The Sekurity Angel sits placidly at hir desk. Oh Look!! There are THREE photos of BBBT on hir desk! Waidaminit -- it's a Mug Shot. Oh deer.
Da Monitors show da SHEF walking into da Heavenly kitchen to prepair Brekkfist VERY urly dis morning. Da larj shaip waring a shefs hat and apron moves abowt in da still-dark kichin industriously, and then walks out. Da Sekewrity Anjul likks hir chops knowing dat Brekkfist tewday will be a speshul one becuz it is……….
HAPPY ST PATTY’s Day!!! In Heaven all are rejoicing, even the Snakies!!! St Pat is there signing autographs, and everyone is wearing green hats and saying “KISS ME I’M IRISH!!” and everywun iz having a WUNNDERFUL time!! Oh! The breakfast bell rings and all the Citizens in Hevvin line up in an orderly fashun (NO pushing in Hevvin!!) and from the kitchen we hear an Angel Cook SKAREEEMING- "ALL DA FOODIE IS GREEN!!!!!!”
Liddle Voyssiz say “Da Aigs are GREEN!! Da HAM is GREEN!! Da Orinj Joooss is …GREEEN! DA KRANBERRY Joos iz a DISGUSTING GREY! Da CAWFEE and da English Muphins and da BAYKON and SAWSIJ and da BEIGNETS is all GREEEN! Da Dogger food iz GREEN (but da Kat Fud iz not??Huh??!) WHO DID DIS? LIKE WE DON’T KNOW?” NEWCOMERS to Hevvin are saying: ”WTH IZ dis -- da FUN HOWSS??” MEENWILE…..
FIVE LEAF KLOVIRZ start RAINING down from abuv, and EVERYWUN looks up!! A Phat Phuzzy White Creechur waring a beanie wif a rotating propeller on it is flote-ing above their hedds and flinging FIVE LEAF CLOVERS into the air!! Summa dem clovers break on impact and da creechur sez “Ooops! I didn’t put enuff GLOO on those clover leafs!!!”
Hands REECH to grab hur – but BBBT WHOOOSHES herself away and find herself on….
FIFTH ABEN-MEW in Mew York City! And peepul are CHEERING as she flotes above da crowd wif her propeller beanie! “Iz dis da Macys Parade?” sez a buncha Liddle Voyssiz. BBBT flotes abuve da WHOLE PARADE and soon she is full of green streamers and oops—wunna them gotted stuck in her beanie propeller and she softly FLUMPS to da grownd and is IMMEDIATELY surrownded by Admireres and well wishers!!
"Heer -- haba green bagel!“ sez one “MY home baked SODA BREAD!” sez annuder, “My speshul Corned beef and Cabbage and Taters!” sez annuder wun, and oh LOOK! A liddle Nonna comes up to BBBT and sez “Eh, MICIO! Mangia la Pizza Verde!” -- and BBBT is So happy EETING all dis wunnerful foodies as she iz smiling and purring and walking along da parade route!! A kind pigeon jentlee unravels da streamer from BBBT’s beanie propeller (“For my nest! For my baybees!” tweets da Pigeon, as she flies off, to go lay an aig or two in Herald Skware), and BBBT (slooowly, cuz she ated lots of foodies) rises into da air again – but HEAVENS!! St Pete sent owt summa dem liddle PHAT angels wif Tiny wings to “FIND DAT RAPSCALLION BBBT!”, and THEY JUST…DID!
Da Crowd goze WIIILD!! “The SAINTS BE PRAISED —the ANGELS hab BIZITED US!! (with a …hairy SHMOO??)“ They yell wif JOY, as they spy these cherubs and BBBT!! Meanwhile BBBT, surrowndid by dem Phat liddle angels, reluktantly slowly flotes back into da sky to await her stern talking-to in Hevvin—does she care? No!! Espeshally sinss dem angels, who hab just passed Times Square with all its joys and temptayshuns NOW decide to take a detooor and check things owt _”Thank YOO, BBBT! “ they yell as they LEAVE HER to flote bakk to her parade!! Their liddle voices trail off as they yell to her - “OBOY! OBOY!! Da Wirld and da Flesh and …. oooops – hey BBBT -- Doan’t tell St Pete! AND Doan worry – we NEVER FOWND YOO!“ and so….
Dem Liddle Phat Cherubs flote towards temptayshun…and hoo are we to say anything!! BBBT, hoo knows it wudd be best to get bakk to Hevvin LONG AFTER everywun has digested their brekkfist – smiles, purrs and flotes back to da Parade. And as da Phat Phuzzy White Creechur flotes happily down 5th Avenue, we heer her say “I wish Meowmie wuz heer!!” Meenwile,Meowmie has wokin up from a plezzint dreem to find some 5 leef clovers on her pillow. “Hmmm….. Did Cee Cee pewk??? Hey Cee Cee—did YOO do dis?” she sez……
HAPPY ST. PATTYS DAY EVERYWUN!!!
January 9th 2014 12:29 pm
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There iz a sassy, young INTERLOPER in Meowmie's bedrume!!!
Cee Cee is a=kvetchin' mightily!! MOL!!!
Tew bee Kon-tinmewed......
December 19th 2013 8:38 am
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Her ARM iz in a sling. She pikkt up a small fridge and carried it 30 feet. Then she pikkt up and moved 11 bokksiz of books TWICE. All in da same day. Toothfullee, no wun elss wud do it for her. (Cee Cee was lokkt in da othir rume so she wudd be safe. haha she wuz probbly kvetchin'.)
SO- Meowmie bloo owt her showlder... She iz taking meddisun (ha! her punishmint for gibbin ME meddisuns!!!) and going to fizzikal therapy. Cee Cee was all NURSE CEE CEE da uthir day. If dat had bin me I wudda bited Meowmie. Maybe.
Iyam very tikkd off becuz my SCRIBE is malfunkshunning!!
Sigh.. get well Meowmie...
December 17th 2013 8:10 am
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It is getting close to Krissmiss Eve in Hevvin. Da kitties gaze in awe at da sparkly gold sky (A Liddle Voyss sez : ”Looks like wunna BBBT’s faymuss (notorious!!!) sparkly tablecloths!”, and…
All eyes turn to look at da LIVING NATIVITY!! How BEEOOTIFUL it is!! Figures are moving, Lambs are resting in da Fields, Anjuls are singing and making Mewzikk and……
And Heer comes da Three Wize Men on their Camels (Hmm.. izzit Wednesday???) Suddenly.... HUUH!!! UH OH!!!” All da camels come to a screeching halt and EVERYWUN’s I’s get BIIG and ROWND. . . Wha happened???
A Liddle Voyss sez “St Pete!! Wunna dem sheepies IZ HISSING at da Three Wize Men!!!” St Pete wisely slaps his forehedd and sez “Wicch wun….(like I don’t know what da Liddle Voyss iz gonna say?)”
Da Liddle Voyss sez: “Da Wun wif da big Phat White Buttiuss wif two blakk spots on It!!!”
Meenwhile, BBBT, who REMOTELY rezembullz a phat sheepie, sighs, stops hissing, smiles and settles into da sweet hay to go to sleep. “Meowmie DID YEWSTA call me her Lambie Pie!” she wiss-purrs as an ekksplanayshun just before she sweetly snorez, and….
Da Three Wize Men and their camels SLOOWLY TIPPYTOE past BBBT on their way to see Da Wun Hoo LUBS US ALL (inclewding BBBT) so very very much ., All iz Calm – All iz Brite….
BBBT’s gentul snoring attracks the attenshun of two spiky tailed kittins! “There is ower HERO!!” sez wunna them skweeky baybees. (Hero AND Bad Eggzampull!) They runn ovur to BBBT, and, being kittinz, have NO qualms abowt waking her up!!
“Sir/Maam! Lookit wat we FOWND!!” say da kittnz as they drop POWNSSIZ and toys at BBBT’s feet. (BBBT gets up and STREETCHIZ and summa dem lambies reclining behind her gasp "Huuuh! Wotta HEWJ Buttiuss!!") BBBT smiles at dem kittinz and sez: “Oh! Yoo must not carry these for too long or they go bad!” sez BBBT hoo eets all da Pownssiz. “Where did yoo find them?”
“They are GROWING on a TREE dat has STARS all over it!!” skweek da innercent liddle baybees.
BBBT gets up and follows da kittins hoo, wif their spiky liddle tails held high, bounce and jump and wiggul ahedd of dis BUIGGIUSS fuzzy wite cat hoo pittypats after them while her fuzzybellyflap swings rite and left, rite and left as she walks with her tail prowdly held high in da air.
She follows them into a room dat smells like a pine forest wif warm lights and singing. And she stops… wif her eyes getting BIIG and her purr getting REEL REEL lowd. For there, in dis rume, covered wif lites and cat-safe ornaments and toys and POWNSSIZ — is da Hevvinly Krimssmiss Tree!! She shyly (shyly? Dis iz BBBT?) creeps forward, wif a biiig smile on her faiss, wif da liddle kittinz and their furrends following her. And then . . .
A few minutes later, a SILENT alarm (all da alarms were newly installed after BBBT walkt into da Purrly gates and settled into Hevvin) rings in da nooly built Anjul Security Rume (ditto). Da HEWGEist Anjul looks at wunna da TV monitors, sighs, ges up and walks owt da dore. A liddle voyss whisspurrs: “What? Another “borrowed” Sparkly Tablecloth inssident?” We shall soon find owt.
Da Anjul striiides down da hall – EVERYWUN knows hoo dis Anjul is going after and they giggul. As da Anjul approaches da Krissmiss tree rume she heers MAJOR sownds of Cat Revelry. Da Krissmiss tree is gyrating. Stuff is FLYYING owt of its branchiz. Cats and kittens are on da flore, playing wif toys, rolling over Nip, eeting Pownssiz (da nice thing abowt eeting Pownssiz in Hevvin is dat yoo DON’T frow up afterwards), And the Anjul goes up to da tree, rolls up a sleev, and stikks hir arm into da tree – and (pulls out a plum? Not a chance…) emerges wif a large furry white shaip wif a BIG smile on hir faiss and big phat cheeks (on da faiss, on da faiss dis time).
Da Anjul sighs but s/he is trying hard not to laff. BBBT sez “Oh deer – I just wanted to find owt if they put an ANJUL on da top of da Krissmiss trees in Hevvin. Did I knock off all dat stuff on my way up? Hmmm….?”
Da kitties in Hevvin hoap that their peepul on Urth are also having a joyous if not riotous time, and dat THEY too have Anjuls looking after them (or running after them, in BBBT’s case)
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS!" they all eek skweek purr and meow!!
November 7th 2013 6:49 am
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Ok Meowmie-- go ahedd:
"Nov 7, 2013 I FINALLY SAW HER!! This morning, I was lying in bed, looking at the floor and the night table and everything was grey in the dim light of morning.
Then I fell “asleep" - and in my “sleep”, I was lying in bed, looking at the floor and the night table and everything was grey in the dim light of morning. And THERE SHE WAS!!
Formed from the greyness of the light, with a silver light outlining her body, standing near the bed with her tail up in the air, just about to leave the room AS SHE ALWAYS DID every morning -- with her beautiful face looking at me, Big Bad Baby Twinkle said "You fed HER - Now feed ME!" And then BBBT left the room and I "woke up".
When she talked to me, I "heard" her VERY plainly -- in my head. When I finally got out of bed I went over to her liddle urn and kissed it.
PS-- I have a memorial Cat Food Dish near her urn and a can of her FAVE food on top of it. Offerings to the Kat Angel."
SO FINALLY MEOWMIE SEES ME!!! Cee Cee wuz in he room too-- HAHAH I BET SHE was SKEERED and HIDED!!!! Then a liddle anjul (yoo know, da liddle phat wun wif tiny wings) came up to me and sed "Bee Bee Bee Tee -- You don't need to EEET Up Here!!" And I went "BOP!!" -- So I hitted dat Anjul.....Tuff tow-nalez....
November 1st 2013 1:35 pm
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On Urth, da sky is grey. In Hebbin, a LARJ figure wearing white roabs (oh it's St BBBT and her Clowd Bed) stands up and POOF -- used paintbrushiz and empty bottles of orinj and blakk poster paint come FLYYING outta dis HEWJ bed!! Little critters RUN over to scoop them up and hide them, in gratitude for ALL da fun they had yesstiday (Halloween), thanx to BBBT's daring and ingenuity.
BBBT throwz off her roabs ("Kats doant ware CLOATHES!" she sez wif a smile) and sits down on a generously sized clowd - "BOOOM!"
("Mama wuz dat Thunder?" ..."Hmmm I dunno sweetie-- da sun is owt now....")
A CROWD of kittins and kitties gathers near St BBBT-- hoo waivs her baton and kleers her throate and sez solemnly: "Let us now sing ower songs" A HEWJ crowd of Kitties (oh deer and SO MANY KITTINS TOO!!!) Who Died WAY Before Their Time purr and heddbutt and groom wun annuder as everywun (including da sweet liddle kittins....) sing and their SWEET MEWZIK fills the Air… AND….
EVERYWUN shines like da Sun. On Earth, MANY kitties run to da windowsills and look up at da Sky. Cee Cee duz too, as she Kvetchiz to Meowmie “Doo yoo heer da songs in da Sky? Pleez sing wif me, Meowmie!!”
But…Oh… is it RAINING in Hevvin? Look again – it is St Pete and da Anjuls weeping for all those kitty souls hoo will find their way to Hevvin today – many WAAAY before their time, and…alas, some of whom had the misfortune and TRAGEDY to suffer a Halloween death…….
TODAY and TOMORROW – are All Soul’s/All Saints’ Day… Please remembpurr the cats dogs kittens and puppies and ALL the critters (skunkies and bats and horses and goldifishies and more) – not just the departed wuns… but also those in shelters as well as those who live AWFUL PAINFUL lives on this earth because of Man”KIND”’s INHUMANITY.
The mewzik ends -- everywun hugs wun annuder. Liddle kittins play play play ("Oh no!! Not with those EMPTY bottles! St Pete will have a FIT!") and BBBT slowly walks bakk to her bed and curls up in it, wif her hedd under her paws.
A liddle kitten asks a big elderly kitty "Is she going bakk to sleep so URLY in da morning?" Da kitty likk likk likks da kittin and sadly sez "No.. she is crying....."
October 31st 2013 6:35 am
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Happy HALLOWEEEN!! It’s a BEEEOOTIFUL day in Hevvin!! St Pete is reeding da Sports page wif a BIIG GRIN on his face – hmmm.. did he bet on da game last nite?? When SUDDENLY dat liddle PHAT anjel wif tiny wings - Da wun hoo is supposta RAT on BBBT but DUZ NOT!!- runs up to St Pete and sez “Sir, there are SCILLIONS of CATS lined up waiting to get into da Orinj and Blakk gates!!!”
“…Orinj…. and Blakk…. gates!!!?” skareems St Pete as he smakks his forehead wif his hand…. De liddle Anjul sez “Oh doan worry I will hose off them Purrly Gates!” and takes a hose to Dem Gates while a Liddle Voyss SKAREEMS—“DAT’s POSTER Paint! It’s gonna Leak Into Da SKY!!!!”
Meenwhile on Urth we heer: “Oh! Grab yor Camera!!! LOOKIT DAT ORINJ and BLAKK Sunrise!!” and “Mommy — Y iz da sky Oranj and Blakk???” and others, (with much wringing of hands) yell “Woe iz US!! It’s GLOABULLE WARMING!! Da Sky is MEEELTING!!!” MEENWHILE, Up in Hevvin……
St Pete sez, very sadly – “WHY are SO MANNY KATS Up here tewday? What happind to dem?!!!! “Da liddle Anjul sez “Well, ACK! Shaully St Pete- they live here – they are TRIKK OR TREETING!!!” St Pete smakks hiz forehedd and sez :“Oh, groan.. OK—gib em a POWNNS and tell em to get in heer and STAY IN HEER – Dis iz NOT Ben And Jerry’s FREE KOAN DAY—They CANNOT get bakk in line—we got a WHOLE BUNCHA NOO ARRIVALS out there – WHAT are they gonna think of HEVVIN now dat they have seen DIS!! AND.. HOO PUT THOSE KATS UP TO DIS – Oh no.. doan’t ansur dat…. Groan.. groan….”
St Pete runs up da Hevvinly Stairs to Da Big Purrson’s Office to complain but—there is a noate on da BP’s dore dat sez: “Iyam Oh!Fish!Allee declaring DIS Day as– MY DAY OF REST! DOAN BOTHER ME!! FIND…DA.. KAT!!!.. and speek to HER!!!” Meenwhile Up In Hevvin…..
ALL of Kitty Hevvin is Abuzz wif GLEEE!! Alla dem kitties is dresst up like GHOSTIES!!! Hee hee!! Big and Liddle white ghostie shaips gliding, jumping, FLYYING and PittyPattying abowt – Lissin to them PURRRR! And Eeek! And Skweek!!!
“Who do we thank for theez LUVLY Cotsmewmz?” sez wun purrky liddle kittin.
SUDDENLY we heer Anjuls SKAREEEMING!! “Ower nooly washt bedsheets!! HOO DID DIS!!!??” A LARJ PHAT BBBT ghostie shaip waddles away fureeussly!! “Oh No!! Not There!! “Skareems wun wise kitty – as da BBBT Ghostie shaip almost runnz into Da Guy Wif Da Red Pajamas, hoo is Skareeeming “GET DIS KAT AWAY FRUM ME!!!”
Da Larj Phat Shaip waddles safely under St Petes robez – until sumwun sez “Hey St Pete—sins wenn did YOO grow a grey and blakk striped tail???”
St Pete bonks hs hedd against da Purrly Gates a few times and sez “There is NO way to UNDO DIS!! Yo- STOKK RUME ANJUL – plaiss an emerjensy order for 12,395,897 white bed sheets and PUT A STURDY LOKK ON DAT STOKKROOM DOOR FRUM NOW ON, Okie Dokie????”
MEOW-HAHAHA!! Da Larj Shaip runs owt from under St Pete’s roabz wif glee – White ghostie shaips zip bakk and forth and sidewayz and upside down and a Liddle Voyss sez “Doan Eeet dat Kandy Korn, or yoo will pewk ORANJ! And annuder Liddle Voyss yells “TRIKK OR TREET!! LIKK MY FEEET!! HAHAHAHAHA!!”
October 22nd 2013 1:56 pm
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Meowmie posted a photo of that BEEAUTIFUL frame you sent to her after I wented to Hevvin -- now it has my PIKSHA in it -- so Iyam FUREVER smiling at my Meowmie! THANKYEW!!!
Yor furriend Bee Bee Bee Tee
Pee Ess -- Lookit da Statchoos of me dat Meowmie painted!! I held her hand wif my paw, wenn she wuz painting them!!!
October 1st 2013 6:21 pm
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The moon is in Her heavenly abode- smiling kindly down on a sweetly snoooring Bee Bee Bee Tee surrounded by liddle baybee kittins who have play played and ate ated . Other happy angel kitties (Miss Princess included!!) are sleeping, their belleees fulla Burfday Caik. Two liddle angels "Tsk Tsk" as they zip arownd and clean up the mess of the day and fly up to da night sky to replace all those stars what was on BBBT's Burfday Caik-- well this WAS KWITE a PAWTY and a Celebrayswhun of a life well lived. One HEWJ angel, still wearing da want ads (da Sparkly Tablecloth/Robes are in the washtub) gently piklks up BBBT and places her in her soft comfy clowd bed. BBBT gently snores and dreams of Meowmie, hoo at dat VERY moment iz dreeming abowt BBBT. BBBT wisspurrz gently, "We are still connected Meowmie. I lub yoo. I hope YOO gottid som Burfday Caik too!!"
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